Thursday, November 04, 2010

It's TGIF For Me

Ikinuwento ni Boy Abunda sa birthday episode(s) niya sa Bottomline ang isa sa di niya malilimutang karanasan noong nagkasakit ang kanyang ama. Hirap na hirap sila sa buhay noon. Wala silang pera kaya nang isugod nila ito sa isang ospital sa Maynila, di ito tinanggap. Naging malaki ang epekto ng pagkakataong iyon sa karamdaman ng ama at tumatak nang husto sa isipan ni Boy. Ayon sa kanya, hanggang sa ngayon, sa tuwing napapadaan siya sa ospital na iyon ay hindi niya ito magawang tingnan. Hindi na niya ito napasok pa magmula nang tanggihan sila nito. Nag-iwan ito ng matinding pait sa puso at pagkatao ni Boy.

Kung ang ospital na iyon sa Maynila ang iniiwasan ni Boy, ang sa akin ay T.G.I. Friday's. I have never eaten nor set foot at any of their restaurants since my fateful experience from them.

It was 1997. I was fresh out of college, looking for a job. Isa sa inaplayan ko ay HR Assistant ng TGIF. Upon filling in the form, tinanong ako ng secretary kung makakapagsimula na ba raw ako kaagad dahil kailangan talaga nilang mapunan ang posisyon. I said yes dahil wala rin naman akong pending application that time. Besides, sino ba namang bagong graduate ang hindi tatanggapin ang unang trabaho ialok sa kanya, hindi ba?

I was seated then. Then, she told me to follow her in the office. I stood up and walked behind her. Kitang-kita ko ang pagkagulat sa kanyang mga mata when she saw me walked. It was as if it was her first time to encounter someone with physical handicap. Every now and then, on the way to the office of the manager, palingon-lingon siya.

When we reached the office, tumayo ako in front of the manager's desk. In class we were taught that on job interviews, we shouldn't sit unless told to do so. The secretary approached the manager and whispered something to him while looking at me. Alam ko na kung ano ang nangyayari, but I kept my cool. The secretary left, and I was alone with the manager.

I was told to sit, so I did. The manager looked at my resume for a while and asked me not about my qualifications, but about my physical condition. I told him that I had it since birth. He told me to stand up and walk around as if he was a doctor doing an exam on me, trying to make a diagnosis on his head. He even made sure na makikita niya kung paano ako maglakad by being in the front row! Lumayo at tumayo pa siya sa tabi ng desk.

Once he gotten what he wanted (and perhaps satisfied with what he saw), he asked me about my teeth. "Ano nangyari sa ngipin mo?" I didn't have braces then kaya may pagkasungki pa 'yung two front teeth ko. Mayro'n din ako white spot on one tooth na tatak-David 'ata. Parang birth mark sa ipin. Sabi ko it was there since birth. Pakiramdam ko ay hinahanap niya lahat ng mali sa katawan ko ng sandaling iyon.

Pinaupo niya ako at tiningnan sumandali uli ang resume ko. He then said, "We'll call you." I stood up, thanked him, and shook his hand. Pakiramdam ko noon ay sinusundan pa rin niya ako nang tingin as I leave.

Nanginginig ang buong laman ko noong panahon na iyon. A friend, Arnel, accompanied me at wala akong binanggit sa kanya about what just transpired in the office. Sa MRT, unti-unti akong naluluha pero pinapahid ko kaagad. Ayokong malaman niya ang tungkol sa nangyari.

When I got home, doon ko naibuhos ang sama ng loob ko. May ilang araw din akong nag-iiyak until I decided that I wouldn't pursue the corporate world anymore. It was the first time that I have experienced blatant discrimination right to my face. Pinahiya nila ako. Minaliit.

On my journal entry dated September 11, 1997, I had hoped that I was trained on how to deal with such experiences. I knew how the world could be cruel, but I never realized na mararanasan ko ang hagupit ng latay niya. These things were never taught in school. Kaya paglabas mo ng unibersidad, hindi sapat ipanglaban ang mga teoryang itunuro sa 'yo ng iyong mga guro sa lupit ng mundo.

I have never shared this experience with anyone except my parents and two closest friends that time, Elma and Arnel. Ipinaliwanag ko kasi sa kanila why I was pursuing an MA degree in Ateneo (then). Gusto ko kasing magturo sa college once I gained some units. (But I got into elementary teaching the year after.) But even then, natakot akong pasukin ang mundo kung saan ihaharap mo ang iyong sarili sa iyong mga estudyante.

From then on, I told myself never to eat or visit any of their restaurants.

Sa ngayon, I'm tougher when dealing with these days. I really wouldn't mind the curiosity about it so long as walang malice o halong pangbabastos, the way other people ask about one's sexuality.

P.S.
This is, by the way, the continuation of "A 12-Year Old Story Part 1"
I've written last year. Technically, 13-year old story na siya. Hindi kasi siya madaling isulat. Hindi madaling ibahagi sa iba. I have never verbalized this ordeal to anyone. I have told my parents and friends this through letters.

Upon reading the said post last year, nabasa ko roon na sinulat kong I have experienced discrimination twice.

Ang isa pa ay mula sa AMA-CLC na diniscriminate ako because of the university I graduated at--CEU. Naghahanap sila noon ng English professor at pasado ako sa exams, interviews, and demo. Pagdating sa upper management, I was easily dismissed because I was a CEU graduate. Hindi raw kasali ang graduates ng university ko sa mga tinatanggap nila. Galing lang daw sa UP, Ateneo, La Salle, at kung anu-ano pang mamahaling universities ang kino-consider nila.

Natawa na lang ako sa dahilang iyon. Sino naman sila para maging prejudiced sa graduates ng ibang universities kung sila ay mas malayo pa ang ranking ng mga unibersibad sa Pilipinas sa CEU?! Kalokohan!


Read "A 12-Year Story Part 1" here.