Ask Sharon

In 2006, while I was undergoing my training in Star Cinema, my mentor told me to write some questions that I would want to ask a celebrity. S'ympre, si Mega ang pinili ko. The questions were part of the character development I was doing for my script. I should know my characters well the way I want to know Mega.

If given the chance, I'd ask Mega these questions. Though, of course, since medyo too personal ang iba, baka ipabasa ko na lang sa kanya and leave it up to her if she'd answer them or not, i.e. if I would not take them out altogether.

Mahaba-haba ito, so 'pag nagkataon, kung itatanong ko ang mga ito, baka abutin kami ng 48 hours! Sa daldal ni Mega, di ka makakakuha ng one-liner na sagot sa kanya, for sure. Given that this was written in 2006, I would rephrase some questions and add new ones. So baka mas humaba!

So eto siya. Almost 5 years later, ipo-post ko online...

1. When did you know that you are just your father’s “other family?”
2. How did you take it?
3. Are you acquainted with the other family?
4. How many families are there?
5. Who is your closest sibling aside from your brother Chet? Why?
6. What is your fondest childhood memory?
7. Where did you go to school?

8. When did you start working in show biz? Who discovered you?
9. How was it in school when you started singing? How did your classmates/teachers treat you?
10. What did you want to become while in school?
11. How much was your first talent fee? How did you spend it?
12. Did you feel that you will stay long in the biz?
13. Were there any disagreements within your family in going to show biz?
14. Some people thought that show biz was baduy, how did you take it? Did you experience “discrimination” of some sort?

15. Why do you think "Mr. DJ: became a massive hit?
16. What is your memorable experience in recording your first song “Tawag ng Pag-ibig?” How about "Mr. DJ"?
17. Give your Top 5 favorite songs of yours. Why?
18. What are your Top 3 favorite albums?
19. Your album Sshhh. . . is one of my favorite albums. How was it recording it? Any memorable experience?
20. What is your favorite and least favorite album? Why?
21. The other album I love is For Broken Hearts Only. Could you share any stories that surround that album? Was it sort of dedicated to Gabby?

22. How did you and Albert Martinez start going out? Why didn’t the relationship last?
23. What is the best thing you remember about Albert?
24. When you worked with him in Nang Iniwan Mo Ako, did you reminisce about the old times?

25. How did Rowell come into the picture? Why did you break-up?

26. How did Gabby court you?
27. How was Gabby different from Albert and Rowell?
28. Why did you decide to get married at a young age?
29. How was the marriage after the wedding?
30. When did you become pregnant with KC?
31. Are there any tell-tale signs that your marriage was on the rocks, the way Pops realized later on with Martin?
32. Why did you separate, if I may ask?
33. What made you decide to separate?
34. What did you feel when Grace Ibuna came into the picture? Dindi Gallardo?
35. How was working with Dindi go when you made Nang Iniwan Mo Ako with her? Nag-usap ba kayo? Pinag-usapan n'yo ba "siya"?
36. You and Gabby became on-and-off friends after the separation, right? Why was it that way?
37. Was there an incident that made you realized that you and Gabby can never be friends, at least that moment?
38. What did you feel when you learned that Gabby was already married before he married you?
39. Are you friends now? How did it come about?

40. How did you and Richard naman become lovers?
41. Is it true that your father did not like him?
42. In Kahit Wala Ka Na, Richard was kinda annoyed during the promotion, citing na hindi naman siya ang bida ru’n kaya di siya nagpo-pomote. Bakit kaya nagkaganu’n? May alitan ba kayo nu’n? Is he already courting you then?
43. When did your relationship with Goma end? Why?
44. Is it true na pinagsabay niya kayo ni Dawn? How did you find out about it?
45. Nagkaroon ba ng lamat ang friendship n’yo ni Dawn since you worked together in Nakagapos Na Puso?
46. How did you reconcile with her?
47. How long did you and Goma become friends after the break-up? Who initiated it?
48. Ano masasabi mo na gold digger ang tingin sa kanya ng iba?
49. What can you say about the issue he’s facing now with the BIR given that you are one of the top BIR payors?

50. Did you and Tonton become an item? Why or why not?
51. How about you and Robin?
52. Totoo ba na nagka-gap kayo ni Vina because of Robin?
53. May naging bf ka pa ba before Kiko na di ko nabanggit?
54. Sino pa nanligaw sa ‘yo from the business? Ba’t di naging kayo?

55. What is your favorite movie ever? Why?
56. Who is your most favorite director? Why?
57. Most favorite line in a movie?
58. Was there a conscious effort on your part to tackle almost the same theme in some of your movies or not veer away from the formulas?
59. Are you aware na OA ang ibang acting mo sa iba mong movies? You tend to overact, right?
60. Your worst film for me si Lilian Velez. Why did you accept that role? OA to the max lahat dun.
61. How was it working in Madrasta? Sobrang subtle ng acting mo ru’n compared to other movies. The best ka ru’n! Was that a conscious effort or Direk Olive told you to?
62. Is there a dream role that you haven’t done in movies? What is it? Why?
63. Dream actors to work with aside from Vilma?
64. Who is your favorite leading man? Why?
65. What is your least favorite movie? Why?
66. What is the movie that you regret doing? Why?
67. Ano ang pelikula mong pinakanahirapan kang gawin? Why?
68. Sino ang artistang nahirapan kang makatrabaho? Why?

69. Is it true that you and Maricel had a rift? How did it start?
70. What can you say that until now pinag-aaway pa rin kayo ng fans? Na laging may napupuna sa ‘yo ang Maricelians?
71. Ano reaksyon mo sa tawag ng Maricelians sa ‘yo na mang-aagaw since marami ka raw Box-Office Queen trophies na "inagaw" kay Marya? Maging yung best actress sa Famas during Sa Hirap At Ginhawa era?
72. Are you and her friends now?
73. Is there a chance for you to work together in a film? Would you like that?

74. Some people call you plastic dahil sa kaka-I love you mo. What can you say about that?

75. What can you say sa nagsasabi na dahil lang daw sa tatay mo kaya ka sumikat?

76. Are you aware na nabawasan na ‘yung quality ng voice mo? Are you willing to undergo voice coaching the way Lea did after she lost her voice? Sayang kasi.

77. What was your reaction to Susan Roces’s comments before, about you not being friends? OK na ba kayo ngayon?
78. Were you able to attend FPJ’s funeral? Nabastos ka ni Marichu Maceda nu’n, di ba? Not letting you see FPJ in the hospital ba or during the wake?

79. Rumors about Kiko being gay, how did you react?
80. But WHAT IF he was gay nga, how will you accept it? Will it matter to you?

81. What are your hobbies?
82. What DVDs do you like to collect?

83. What do you hate most in the business?
84. What do you love most?

85. Who is/are your best friend/s in show biz?

86. Sharon’s editing is bad. Are you aware of that? Are you doing something about it?

87. When did you start smoking? Why?
88. How many sticks/packs a day do you smoke? What made you stop?
89. Ano naging kapalit ng pag-quit mo?

90. You gained weight easily, why is that so? Is it because you’re too happy to care about the way you look? Nu’ng time ng annulment with Gabby, sobrang payat mo kasi.
91. What do you do to maintain a specific weight?
92. What can you say na napo-postpone ang shoot ng Caregiver palagi because of your weight? Do you take it against Direk Chito?
93. I remember that your weight was no issue in Nang Iniwan Mo Ako. The story revolved around it. Di ka ba nagre-request na sana ganu'n din dito?
94. Do you have any tampo in Star Cinema dahil dito?
95. Issue ba ‘yung weight-gain sa ‘yo or you’re Ok with it?
96. When do you eat the most? Depressed, stressed, or happy/contented?
97. Do you hate it when people call you fat?

98. What is your most favorite dish? Something you can’t live without.
99. Do you cook? Paboritong putaheng niluluto mo?

100. What is the medical procedure you did with Vicky Belo?
101. Why are you opposed to liposuction before (or until now)?

102. What are your turn-offs? Pet peeves?

103. Do you miss dancing like you did in TSCS?
104. What did you feel when you wore the “tanga?” What made you wore it? Fad?

105. The most daring thing you did in movies?

106. The most daring thing you did in life?

107. If you were not an actress, what would you be? Why?

108. What can you say about the TV versions of your films? Have you seen them? They’re horrible!
109. By not speaking about your feelings toward the said teleseryes, people call you mayabang. What can you say about that?

110. Did you actually leave Viva or was it circumstantial?
111. How long did you work in Viva?

112. What can you say about Juday’s tampo with ABS for not allowing her to promote Ouija? Did you have that experience?

113. What will make you join politics? Why are you opposed to it?

114. What is with Kiko that made you agree to marry him?

115. Do you see yourself retiring from the business?

Where Did All the Free Time Go?

Saan na ba napunta lahat ng free time ko during the long holidays at pinugpog ako ngayon ng sangkaterbang trabaho? I am feeling so overwhelmed with the things I need to do from today until the end of the semester. At di sila 'yung tipong pwedeng mong paglaanan a few hours at a time. Lumalamon sila talaga ng matinding oras, parang isang s'yotang demanding at obssesive! Di bale sana kung isa lang kaso madami sila.

I've so many books to read and lessons to plan. I have thought of reading and planning my lessons ahead of time during the holidays pero di ko nagawa. There's also a school play na natanguan kong tulungang i-organize. The problem is, there isn't a workable script at the moment at parang pati 'yun ay poproblemahin ko pa. The play is being set to stage on February at feeling ko hindi kakayanin ang oras, given that it is a musical. Iniisip ko pa lang ang rehearsal time, natataranta na ko. At gusto pang ilabas outside school 'yung play! Umaambisyon talaga! Not to mention my own class play for Philippine Literature on the last week of March. I have to yet adapt a script. Actually, I'm looking forward it 'cause once I have chosen the cast and given them the script, class ko na ang bahala sa rehearsal time nila at preparations. Guide and tweaking na lang ang gagawin ko. However, bago ako makarating d'un, dadaan muna ako sa American literature papuntang Japan papuntang Edsa hanggang sa ngayon. Ilang taon din ang tatahakin ko!

Then there's Rizal at ang gabundok na books na dapat (at gusto) kong basahin tungkol sa kanya. I have taught it a few years back, but I only used two to three references. Ngayon ang dami na. Ginusto ko naman 'yun, eh, kaya paninindigan ko! (Love ko na si Austin Coates! Ganda pala ng biography niya tungkol kay JPR! No wonder idol siya ni idol Ambeth Ocampo.)

May nakalatag pang storyline (at script) na dapat kong simulan at tapusin. Siya ang kumain ng oras ko during the holidays only to discover a much better story. I was relieved that I was able to get out of the original concept dahil not only passe na siya eh talagang matrabaho given that there were other movies made with such concept. Aba! Mahirap dekorasyunan ang isang palasak ng idea kahit pa sabihing interesting siya. Anyway, dahil nga nakaisip ako ng better and more exciting concept (na nagustuhan naman ng producer/director), I had to start from scratch. At wala pa kong nasisimulan, pramis! Di pa talaga ako naupo sa harap ng computer para simulan siyang sulatin kahit synopsis man lang. Kaya good luck sa 'kin talaga! (Thank you to Jerrey and Acy though for the YM brainstorming sessions!)

Apart from those, dami ko pa gustong gawin. I have books to read for leisure. Since I started school last November, wala pa kong natatapos na libro. Nasisimulan ko pero di ko natatapos. (Na-kay Para kay B ako ngayon ni Ricky Lee, Chapter 3 pa lang!) I've new DVDs and downloaded TV series's episodes (I'm on my True Blood season finale though! Yey!) that I haven't seen. There are so many plays that I want to watch. Next week lang may dalawa akong gustong mapanood (Pamaypay, Kutsilyo, at Yantok on Jan. 14-16 in CCP and Cory the Musical on Jan 16-17 in Meralco Theater). Dunno if I could given my schedule. But definitely, another round of Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah on Feb (pang-birthday!)! Di pwedeng palampasin lalo pa't andun na si Cheeno (OK lang sa 'kin kung siya 'yung magiging gift ko!). Yipee! *giggles* Of course, may mga movies pang parating on cinemas. Hay buhey!

Whatever happened to the holidays? Can we just go back to the time when pressures are off? This is so different from what I encountered last year. Yes, I have a job back then pero sobrang luwag ng first three months ko (pwede pang pumalakpak sa loob at gumawa ng star sa rubber band!) only to be surprised with tsugihan factor sa work by last week of March. Eh kapag ganitong nai-stress pa naman ako, mas lalo akong walang nagagawa. I need time to calm myself first before I get to work again. Kaya siguro may dizzying spells ako this week. Parang gustong magkasakit ng katawan ko just so I have a legitimate excuse to slack off. Minsan nga naiisip ko, mas OK kaya if I have a regular job kung sa'n once I go home, hindi na ko susundan ng work? Pero hindi rin! I'd be bored out of my wits. Mas maii-stress naman ako n'un, pramis!

Nevetheless, I know that once this week has passed, magno-normalize na lahat. I can finally plan and schedule a possible timetable for everything needed to be done in the next three months. Saka pauwi rin si Mommy this month. Excited kami!

In the meantime, celebrate muna ng birthday ni Mega bukas sa Araneta!

Unsaid, Unexpressed

Sometimes, there are feelings you can't seem to express, leaving you with a heavy heart. Sometimes, there are words that you can't seem to vocalize, leaving you with a bad taste in the mouth.

When these things happen, sometimes, there are people who convey the feelings you kept hidden to yourself and utter the words you dared not say.

When I told Biboy about a certain event in my life two months ago, he was the first to shed tears for me. I was yet to understand my feelings but he was already ahead of me. I have avoided being resentful of the situation or towards anyone, but again, he did it for me. Rationalization was in no way part of his vocabulary when it comes to articulating his feelings. So what if feelings are irrational! Karapatan n'ya maramdaman 'yun, so be it! For that, I am grateful to him. Siguro kaya nahirapan din akong damdamin ang nangyari 'cause he already did it for me. He literally took the pain away from me. But of course, it shouldn't end there. I still had to my share of low moments just so I could get over it completely. Kaya naman di maiiwasan ang panaka-nakang pagluha every now and then.

Then comes an unexpected post from a friend that truly moved me. For the things I couldn't say, she had phrased them so clearly. Minsan nga ay napag-usapan namin na, tulad niya, kailangan kong sabihin 'yung nararamdam ko, kahit ga'no pa man ito kasakit o kadumi, pero minsan hindi ko kaya. Sa pagsusulat ko nailalabas. "Writer ka nga," sabi niya. However, this is something that I wasn't able to write yet directly. Pahaging-haging lang. I'm still waiting for a particular blow that would make me let go of it all. Or maybe I have already done my time, I just don't know it yet.

To Acy, thank you for such words. Hindi ko 'to malilimutan. Sabi ko naman sa 'yo, i-sangla na natin ang bahay mo at mag-produce tayo ng movie! Kahit 'kaw pa ang artista. Buhayin natin ang ST/TF films! Love you, gurl!

***

what a journey it has been

Nagba-browse ako ng mga blogs kanina, tapos nakita ko yung post ni Jheck about sa pag end ng journey niya sa mundo na mahal na mahal niya.

Kaibigan ko si Jheck kaya alam ko kung gaano niya mahal ang pagsusulat. At dahil kaibigan ko siya, nararamdaman ko kung gaano naging masakit ang pag-end ng isang journey na mahaba pa ang dapat niyang tahakin.

Minsan naiisip ko, ang mundo ng pagsusulat ang isa mga pinakamagulong mundo, hindi lang halata kasi tahimik lang ang bawat pangyayari. Marami ang lihim na pinaiiyak ng mundong ito, madamot ang mundong ito pero ito pa din ang pinipili namin.

Naniniwala akong walang ipinanganak na writer pero may mga taong ipinanganak para mahalin ang mundong ng writing. At isa kami ni jheck sa nagmamahal sa mundong ito.

Sabi nga ng isang sikat na writer ang madalas daw ang mga taong into creative like writers eh hindi nagiging successful sa business, eh kasi most of them just needed self satisfaction to the things they love to do. Yun naman pala eh, mahirap bang pagbigyan kami ng aming self satisfaction?

Naalala ko yung takot na madalas namin maramdamang mga brainstormers, yung mabakante kami or kung saan kami pupulutin after ng isang show. Or kung may next show pa ba kami? Minsan nga naiisip ko, bakit naman kaya kami nag-undergo pa ng training sa scriptwriting kung brainstorming lang ang gagawin namin? Paano naman yung ibang tulad ko na hindi magaling sa brainstorming pero mas nailalabas ang nararamdaman thru writing? Ang damot ng mundong ito noh, pero sige pa din kami ng sige.

Minsan naiisip ko bakit dapat ganito? Bakit dapat na maging madamot ang mundong ito eh gusto lang naman namin magsulat. Ang totoo siguro, maraming buwaya sa mundong ito, hindi lang halata. Maraming bakaw, maraming mapagsamantala. Hindi lang obvious ang lahat, dahil hindi lang talaga obvious. Ahahahha! Saka kapag sinabing writer ka, mukha kang mabait at hindi ka gagawa ng masama. Ahahaha!

Unpredictable nga daw ang pagtatrabaho sa TV writing at you're only good as your last show. Pero kahit anong kademonyuhan ang ipakita sa amin ng mundong ito, ang hirap iwan, ang hirap kalimutan.

Eh kasi gusto lang naman namin magsulat, yun lang.

Tapos gusto din namin yumaman tulad ng nila. Ahahahha!

__________________________________

and the end is not in sight

but the stars are out tonight

and they're bound to guide my way

"One More Chance" Cast Party

Cast party on November 13, 2007 at Metrowalk after the Megamall premiere

More pictures here

Are You Gay?

Eto na naman ako stalling my writing before going to the office. Nami-miss ko na rin naman ang pagba-blog. Partly because of the busy schedule. Kahit na di araw-araw 'yung pagpasok sa Star, parang ganu'n na rin kasi madalas kaming nag-iisip ng mga bagong kwento. Mind you it isn't easy. Nakakapagod. That leads me to my other reason for not blogging as much as I want to, exhaustion. I like to spend my "non-writing" days resting, watching movies, or ang favorite past time sa office, thinking! Hehehe. Miss ko na ring mag-review ng films. By not doing so, hindi ko na maalala kung ano ba 'yung mga movies na napanood ko this year. Nakakalimutan ko na rin 'yung ibang titles which is very unlikely of me. Siguro dahil na rin 'yun sa sunod-sunod na panonood ng movies na kailangan ko to come up with storylines required of us.

Anyway, that's not the point of this particular post. Recently, Victor Basa was asked by Will Devaughn in one episode of PBB Celeb Edition 2 if he was gay. Medyo I found it discomforting especially when I saw the video just today. I felt that it was such an insensitive act from Will given that it was around all other housemates and in front of national television. Kahit pa sabihing he, too, was cornered by Boy Abunda by telling him to ask Vic one question that people are dying to know most about models.

Boy: Ganito na lang, Will. Gayahin mo nga ako. Kunwari ini-interview mo si Vic. Ask him the one question that everyone wants to ask. . . Ano ba ang tinatanong ng mga tao sa mga modelo? Vic Basa, are you. . .
Will (hesitating puts the mic on Vic): . . .gay?
Vic: I. . . Well . . . Recently. . . na-cut 'yung relationship ko sa babae so. . . as far as. . . parang, as far as I can tell, straight naman ako.
Will: . . .Sure ka?
Vic (a lil bit surprise with the question but not given the chance to answer)
Will: Joke lang! Nagbibiro lang, pare!

Perhaps it was Boy who instigated it or Will already has that question in mind. Nevertheless, it was embarassing for both him and Vic, especially to Vic. Hindi lang 'yun. Bastos ang dating. Why do I say this? The most dreaded question for closet gays is "Are you gay?" I'm not saying that Vic is (but it'd be wonderful if he is! Super crush ko siya!) but I'm speaking in general. I feel that one's sexuality shouldn't be other people's business unless may hidden agenda sila sa pagtatanong o pakikialam. Sure, it's exciting to pry but what happens after you put someone in such humiliation? Hindi madaling umamin ng tunay na pagkatao sa mapanghusgang sosyedad. People do not know what closeted gays go through from the moment they know that they are different to the beginnings of coming out. So sana lang that they could be more sensitive to the issue rather than pagpiyestahan ito.

I admit na guilty rin ako sa pang-uusyoso but I never once cornered people into asking if they are gay or not. Kasi ayoko rin namang gawin sa 'kin 'yun. But when I came out, non-issue na 'yun para sa 'kin. Although naging hesitant ako about answering that question last year kasi feeling ko malisyoso ang pagkakatanong sa 'kin ng isang GMAAC workshopper. Sa harap din ng mga ibang group members 'yun when he asked, "May gf ka ba? Eh bf?" Sabi ko wala. Later, Acy & I realized that there was something "odd" about his gestures towards me, especially when he learned the truth when I bought Biboy along with me during one of our meetings. 'Yun ang sinasabi kong hidden agenda about asking someone's sexuality. Either may personal kang interest sa tao or you're in a sort of vengeful mood or something closer to that or you're a homophobe. Otherwise, ano bang pakialam mo, di ba? 'Wag ka masyado apektado, pwede ba?

Award!

Ito na 'yung award namin. S'ympre mali ang spelling ng pangalan ko, pero carry na rin! Si Don ang nagtatago nito ngayon kaya nagpa-picture na lang ako.

Session With Ricky Lee

GMA 7 Sindie Awards Night

Shocked. "Congratulations Don and Jheck for winning Best Story," was the message I received from Anjo tonight. "Totoo ba ito," ang tanging naibato kong sagot sa kanya. Frankly speaking, I was shocked. Paano nangyari 'yun? How could we have been nominated in the first place in the said category when it wasn't our story to begin with? Was there a mix-up of some sort? Best Story ba talaga o Best Screenplay? But Anjo made it clear that we really won the Best Story category.

Confused. With that being said, I got confused. Ano ba ang dapat maramdaman sa pagkakataong ito? It was supposed to be a "winning" moment yet it doesn't feel so. As I've said, screen writers lang kami. Hindi kami ang pinagmulan ng kuwento. However, even if we have won Best Screenplay, parang mali pa rin since what was seen on screen was not our writing. Napalitan na nga on the day of the shoot without our (Don and I) prior knowledge. I'm not the kind of person na mag-eepal para sa isang bagay na hindi ko naman talaga kinarir. Unless magiging true to its form ang judging at screenplay talaga "namin" ang pagbabasehan.

Weirded Out. Sabi ko kay Don na ang weird ng feeling. Was it a mistake? A consolation? Or a vindication? Ito ba ang sagot sa lahat ng dusa na naranasan namin before, during, and after the shoot? I swear, kahit na pilit na namin siyang tinalikuran, sinusundan pa rin niya kami, nagpi-feeling Sukob girl! (Just to make it clear, Kasal ang title ng aming short film.)

Whose winning is it, anyway? Thank heavens that we didn't attend the awards night. (At one point parang ginusto kong umaten if not for what happened to me last Friday -- for a later post 'yun.) I wouldn't know how to react once on stage or what to say. I wouldn't want to fully claim it as my own and I wouldn't want to mention the name-that-we-shouldn't-speak-of, as well. I wouldn't want to give him any satisfaction.

But what could the name-we-shouldn't-speak-of have felt too upon learning such winning? Matutuwa ba siya kahit na hindi pangalan niya ang binanggit? This could have been his ticket to whatever fame he is aiming at. But no! Tulad ng dati, kami na naman ng humarang sa kanyang mga pangarap. In his story, we are the antagonists. In our story, he is the devil! Kanya-kanyang POV (point of view) lang 'yan.

Grinned. Still, masarap pa rin ngumiti. The award was in our names and not his. Hindi ko siya aangkinin. Nakakatawang isipin lang na kami pa rin ang pinangaralan at hindi siya.

So it is but right to say

Belat.

P.S. I haven't seen our finished project yet. Siguro it's time to watch it. Bago man lang magtapos ang showing on July 10. So invite ko na rin kayo to watch Sindié: Sa Pagsisismula ng Indie at Robinson's Galleria Cinema 8, 12-10 PM. Tickets are at PhP100.00 for all short films.

The 14 featured short films are: Katha, Saka, Mga Kuwento Kong Sana, Taong Grasa, Otra Ves, Sidewalk, Kasal, Baritada, and In A Flash (8 minutes); Lea, Batang Bato, Binhi, and Photo Express (20 minutes); and Glen Con Banyo (3 minutes).

P.P.S. Siguro ang magiging acceptance speech ko ay "Acy, Don, and Len, congratulations sa 'tin! May saysay rin pala lahat ng naging hirap natin! At sa lahat ng naging kontrabida. . . Ewan ko sa n'yo!"

;)

A Red Carpet Experience: Paano Kita Iibigin?

This post is two weeks too late due to the reason below. Anyway, ito na siya. . .

It was my first time to attend a Red Carpet Premiere of a commercial Pinoy movie. I have seen how it's done on the news (Hollywood or local biz-wise), but I have never been in one. (Although di naman talaga kami naglakad on the red carpet itself.) So whatever you have seen on TV, 'yun na 'yun. Stars and guests walking on the red carpet at pakaway-kaway sa mga fans (o sa di fans na mga uzi lang), then enter na sa theater. Siguro, one of the major differences of Hollywood premieres to local ones is that ours is sponsored by a radio station. DJs are the ones who entertain uzis and audience in line (for one and a half hour lang kung susuwertihin) while waiting for the stars of the film to arrive. Mayro'n ding Question and Answer portion para sa mga gustong makakuha ng prizes from different sponsors of the film -- usually 'yung mga commercial endorsements ng artista. Mayron'g giveaway na isang bag ng chewing gum na siyang nginunguya ng bida habang nagpapa-interview sa press. (So hindi ba ito naturuan na hindi magandang ngumuya ng bebel gum habang nakikipag-usap?) Mayro'n ding isang bag ng kape na magpapaalala sa 'yo na iyun ang kape ng mga barakong lalake! Mayro'n ding shampoo, shades, watches, at kung anik-anik pa. Pagpasok mo sa sinehan, mayro'n uling DJ na magho-host ng Q&A para naman hindi mainip ang mga utaw sa loob habang hinihintay ang pagpasok ng mga bida at pagsisimula ng pelikula. More or less, another 30 minutes ang iyong dagdag na paghihintay.

As soon as the lights went out and the National Anthem starts, the fun begins. Imagine, after the anthem, nagpalakpakan ang mga tao! What for, you may ask. Beats me! Maybe because, finally, the film is about to start. Maybe because the National Anthem showed the Kapamilya stars saluting our flag. (In fairness, maganda ang visuals nu'n.) Maybe because it was the first time they saw the video. I dunno. You guess is as good as mine.

As if the applause after the anthem wasn't enough, may applause pa during the film sa mga scenes na nakakatawa at nakakatuwa. Sobrang lakas din ng tawanan. S'ympre it's flattering for the people behind the film to hear the applause and laughter from its audience, but for people who went to see the film for appreciation, kairita! Kasi di mo kaagad maririnig 'yung susunod na dialogues dahil sa lakas ng tawanan o palakpakan. Kaya naman I don't suggest watching (local) films during premiere for review. You might miss some details during the course of the viewing.

As for the film, ito ang mga masasabi ko. Watch it:
1) to see Regine go braless all throughout the film,
2) to witness how Regine and Piolo do their laplapan and romansahan on the big screen, especially the one beside the plane (Panalo!),
3) to see how Eugene Domingo steal the entire movie from the two leads,
4) to gasp and be awed with Piolo's body, and
5) to witness how Regine's false eyelashes act with so much depth and passion.

Before we saw the film, we had been warned. Kaya naman we really didn't expect much out of it. Sa training, we were taught to flesh out our characters well kasi 'yun ang focus ng SC. Kaya naman I realized that to fully enjoy an SC film is to see it through the eyes of its characters. Kung ano ang pinagdadaanan nila at kung bakit sila nag-iinarte ng ganun. In that way, you get to understand where they are coming from. Anuman ang maging kalabasan ng struggles nila sa huli, 'yun ay dahil sa kanilang pagkatao.

In that respect, see Paano Kita Iibigin? through its characters. Ngayon pa lang uunahan na kita, mawiwindang ka! Oh no! Don't blame it on the writers. Kadalasan kapag may palpak na storytelling, we blame it on the writers. We forget that after the writing process, ang may malaking say na sa kakalabasan ng pelikula ay ang direktor. There are times that directors and writers don't see eye to eye. Okay lang 'yun as long as there is an open communication between them. But what happens when they go separate ways? What happens if one thinks that her treatment is better than what was written? What happens if the writers try to the best they can to save the film from going down the drain but the director insists on going there anyway? What happens when depth and heart were taken away and be replaced by cliches and emotional craps? Paano Kita Iibigin? is what happened.

Ito ang isa sa mga bagay na kinakatakutan naming mangyari sa aming mga aspiring writer: ang mabale-wala ang iyong pinaghirapan, ang makita mo ang baby mo na lumaki na parang hindi naging iyo. But that's the harsh reality of the business. Nu'ng umpisa pa lang naranasan ko na 'yun, eh. Pero I know, kahit naranasan mo na, masakit pa rin kung mauulit ng mauulit. Parang tinatanggalan ka ng b*yag ng paulit-ulit. . .

Hay, maging direktor na lang kaya ako?

What I Didn't Know About Myself

These days, I'm interviewing girl friends to help me with my characterization on the story that I'd be writing throughout my CDG training. The questions are very personal and I'm glad that they trust me with such intimate details in their lives. It just goes to show that we truly treat each other as good friends. What's best about it is that I get to learn more about them and understand their psyches as women and human beings.

Unexpectedly though, there was something that I learned about me from a friend. She hasn't shared it with anyone until the night I chatted with her, and honestly speaking, I don't remember any of it. I had a different recollection during the night that she mentioned, that happened 11 years ago.

Here's the excerpt of that conversation (some names are with held to protect their privacies):

JE: kala ko nga liligawan mo ko eh
JE: kasi nga minamanyak mo ko
JE: nung nalasing ka
JD: really?
JE: oo
JD: totoo?
JE: oo
JD: kelan?
JE: bday mo
JD: 3rd yr?
JE: tapos pilit mo ko niyayakap
JD: ay 4th yr un
JE: hindi
JE: ewan ko kung ano yr
JD: nukaba! im so into RL kaya
JE: gaga hindi
JE: nakahiga kasi ako
JE: then tumabi ka sa akin
JE: tapos yakap mo ko
JE: dead ma ako coz nakainom din ako
JE: tapos yung kamay mo
JE: makasalanan
JE: no joke
JD: lasing na nga ako nun
JD: un ata ung pinainom ako nina peng na chaser ay alak din
JE: tama
JE: yun nga
JD: then di ko na matandaan lahat
JD: nakatulog na ko
JE: hindi ako makasigaw coz bahay mo
JD: paggcng ko si RL lang ang naalala kong katabi ko
JE: yes
JE: kasi nga umalis ako
JD: ah ok
JE: you were smelling my hair
JD: sorry! di ko knows un
JE: and kissing my nape
JD: syet! di ako lesbyana
JE: no joke
JD: putek! ginawa ko un?
JE: oo
JE: tapos yakap mo ko
JE: nakahiga tayo
JE: kala ko papatong ka eh
JE: eh lasing din ako
JD: omg! di ko talaga maalala
JE: hindi ako masyado makakilos
JD: buti na lang nangyari sa tin
JE: buti na lang ako
JE: type mo ko dati?
JE: crush?
JD: ndi eh
JE: never?
JD: RL lang talaga
JE: malandi ka
JE: you even asked me out
JE: tapos di mo ko type
JD: si mau ata nililigawan ko nun
JE: si mau nga
JD: o un
JD: i asked u out?
JE: pero u asked me out
JD: when
JE: sa galleria
JE: pero pucha
JE: kasama natin si RL
JE: pucha
JD: ah.. cuz of RL un
JE: bakla ka pala talaga
JD: hahaha
JE: oo
JE: pero RL asked me out after that
JD: we are piolo-rica-sam pala

. . .

JE: ikaw nga dyan tigasin ka
JD: no ka ba?! naalala mo ba ung naging gf ko? si evie?
JE: ano?
JE: yung hindi ka maka score?
JD: korek
JD: di ko talaga feel
JD: kahit she's all over me
JD: well siguro dahil wala ring emotional attachment
JE: hindi kasi sya pretty
JE: eh bat sakin
JE: you're all over me
JD: eh lasing nga no
JE: kahit andyan lang si RL dati
JD: di ko maalala talaga
JE: hindi rin
JE: type mo ko talaga
JE: nagkataon lang gay ka
JE: kaya ayaw mo aminin
JD: bakit? nafeel mo ba kung tinigasan ako?
JE: oo
JE: kaya nga tumayo ako at lumipat
JD: really?!
JE: kala ko nga po papatong ka
JD: ay putik talaga! kaloka yan ah
JD: so pag lasing pala pwede
JD: hahaha
JE: korek
JE: tigasin ka nga eh
JE: pero hindi ko alam na gay ka nun
JD: wala naman akong sinabihan na gay ako eh... di pa ko out nun
JE: oo nga
JD: kinuwento mo yan sa iba?
JE: hindi
JE: sa yo lang
JE: pero nakita nun ni WC
JE: kaya lang sobra lasing din sya
JE: sabi nya lang
JE: akala lang ni WC ata
JE: may consent ako
JE: kasi natawa sya
JD: kakatawa nga
JD: nu ba un

So there you go, friends! Isa pala akong "closeted heterosexual!" My mom would rejoice if she learns this information. Hahaha!

So It Began

Our first training session began on April 29, 2007 (followed by the Welcome party the other night) with the basics on characterization as our first lesson. Our head training officer then was JP Abellera (writer of the upcoming Regine-Piolo starrer, Paano Kita Iibigin, among others) who discussed the concept of characterization to the so-called "circle of being (COB)." COB is the point where a character experiences a siginificant event in his life that would later become a motivating factor for him to pursue a goal in life.

Aside from COB, what I learned the most that day was that there is almost always one protagonist in a story, no matter how many the characters are (except for movies with multiple protagonists and stories). There is one character whose goal would be bigger than the rest. With that, he'd be the lead protagonist in the story.

Kaya naman bigla akong nalito sa pinasa kong kwento that day. Na-realize ko tuloy na marami pang kulang sa kwentong nasa isip ko, in terms of its storyline. Wala pa talaga akong exact conflict for my characters although I already have a conclusion on my mind. The whys and the hows to lead to the goal are what I need to develop. Naiisip ko tuloy na ipagpaliban muna ang kwento at mag-focus sa isa ko pang kwento na mas buo at detalyado na sa isip ko. However, everytime I get to talk to Acy about it, na-eexcite ako. She seems to be pretty into it as much as I do. But it'd be one tough work, I must admit. It'd be a dream project. Matapos ko lang isulat, happy na ko. It'd be my ode to the Sharonians and Maricelians na talaga namang loyal hanggang ngayon. Some sort of testament to what a "true fan" is all about. Aside from that, para kay Mega, s'ympre. One of my biggest desires is to work with her or write something that has to do with her. Kung hindi man ito 'yun, sana something better could come along.

Anyway, before we started the discussion, we saw The Graduate, hence the poster above. It is a movie that I have been wanting to see these last few months. Gusto ko siya mapanood sa DVD but I haven't got the chance of buying due to financial restraints since I prefer the Region 1 version. Kung may maa-avail pang Special Edition, the better.

The Graduate is a fine piece of film that is character-driven. Being 40 years old, classic na siyang maituturing. Yet the conflict in it is universal and timeless. It is about Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) who, after college, becomes confused on which path to take: the never ending road to further education or to practice what was learned in all years of his education. On the night of his party, Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft) offered him some adventure - an adventure that he took which led him to knowing what he truly wants in life. Or is it really what he wanted?

As the confused, undecided young man, Benjamin is a picture of perfection to anyone who has travelled the same road. Very typical (not stereotypical) of men who is in the same age. JP asked us which character in the film do we relate to. Of course, most of the time, audience relate to the main protagonist in the film. Who would be caught dead relating to the villain or the anti-hero? However, I find Mrs. Robinson more fascinating than Benjamin.

As I've said, Ben is typical. Because we became confused or undecided in some point in our lives (or is still is), we know and feel what he is going through. He need not tell his life story just so we could understand his predicament. But Mrs. Robinson is a mystery, a puzzle of some sort. I can't help wondering who she really was. What pushed her into seducing Ben? Did she like him even before he graduated? Did she just wait for the right time to pounce on him? Was it her first time? Has she done it before? Sa mga anak din ba ng mga kaibigan niya? If it was the her first time, why did she choose Ben? What is it in Ben that struck her chord? As what Ben asked her, what happened to her and Mr. Robinson? Why did she react badly when she learned that Ben and her daughter, Elaine, were dating? Was she jealous or she just wanted to keep Ben to herself? Sex lang ba habol niya kay Ben or is she (afraid of) falling for him?

You see, Mrs. Robinson is a multi-dimensional character. There's more to her than meets the eye. But like Ben, we would never know what's inside her head and heart. She'd just remain an adventure that was never truly explored and understood. Mas masarap himay-himayin ang mga karakter na tulad ng sa kanya.



Well, anyway, for those who haven't seen the film, I suggest that you watch it. If not for its cinematic gem, see it for the excellent performance of the great Anne! For those who have, second or third viewing won't hurt. Classics are meant to be enjoyed over and over again.

As a bonus, you can download the soundtrack of the film through my Multiply account. I had the original CD on my possession for quite some time now but never truly listened to it. Soundtracks are best served after watching the films they were based on.

Enjoy! ;)

Notes: Mike Nichols directed this film. See another film of his, Closer, which has the most flawed characters on screen yet so human. Like The Graduate, it also boasts of superb performances from its lead cast.

Rumor Has It was sort of based on The Graduate. The story takes off from there. It follows the life of Sarah (Jennifer Aniston), the daughter of Jocelyn (supposed Elaine from The Graduate) and the grand daughter of Katharine (Shirley Maclaine, Mrs. Robinson), who is finding herself and the path she needs to take. Her search brought her to Earl (Kevin Costner, Ben Braddock) who helped her find her way. Mas naintindihan ko 'to ngayon (when I saw it on HBO this time) now that I have seen The Graduate.

The Other Sister, one of my favorite films, also paid homage to The Graduate, where the song above was taken.

Sabi ni Biboy kamukha ko raw si Dustin. Hmm. . .

Initiation

On April 27, 2007, Star Cinema's Creative Development Group (CDG) Team gave us a "Welcome Party" that would be our initiation to the scriptwriting world. Kriz had prepared two games for us to get acquainted with the rest of the group. The first game was an adaptation of Eat Bulaga's "Pinoy Henyo." (Yes, you are not transported in GMA. Nasa ABS-CBN pa rin kayo, mga kaibigan.) Titles of Star Cinema movies (from 2000-2006) were pasted on our backs, Basic CDG, together with the Advance. We had to guess the titles by asking some pertinent question regarding them that was answerable by yes or no. It took a while before I was able to guess mine but I did, with thanks to Nori who is a huge Piolo fan. It was Dreamboy.


That's Nori in the middle

The second game was called the "Doll Game." Ay, kalowkah siya! Team-up ng isang Basic at Advance (mine was Raz, one of the writers of You Got Me). The object of the game was to follow whatever the Doll Master (or should I say witch?) would do to the (voodoo) doll (pasayawin man o tusuk-tusukin ng karayom o ihagis-hagis sa ere!).

From one Doll Master to another, JP (in red shirt) to Joelian (in overall)

Kulelat sina Egg at Francis (the other writer of You Got Me), so they won. Gulo 'no? Pa'no ba naman maski si Kriz just decided on who the winners would be while the game was going on. Hehehe. Anyway, t'was fun!

Last two teams: Egg & Francis, and Anj & Jerrey

After the games, welcome speeches were given by the team headed by Ms. Amor and Ms. Tammy. Then, off we went. Past 9 PM na 'yun and we still had a 9 AM session the next day.

Pero s'ympre, bago umalis, mawawala ba naman ang group picture?

(L-R) Ms. Amor, JP, me, Nori, Egg, Jenny, Jerrey (center) Von

Thank you, guys, for a very warm welcome!


More pictures here

Exclusivity

You know how it feels when God plays tricks on you sometimes? I mean, in a good way. He just keeps you in so much suspense at times that you tend to give up on your dreams, wishes. Just when you are about to cool down and lose hope, He'd turn the temperature high till you reach the boiling point and boom! You'd get your surprise. It is His way of saying, "Just trust in Me."

A month ago, I sent my storyline to Star Cinema as a product of our brainstorming. Medyo nahirapan ako. Choosing a language to use pa lang, nalito na ko. I couldn't put the right words in English so I did it in Tagalog. After writing it, I felt uncomfortable. Parang may kulang. Parang may mali. But still, I sent it. Bahala na si Batman.

Weeks have passed and I didn't hear from the SC people. So, hindi na ko na inasahang mapasama sa training despite some words of encouragement from friends. Several things went through my mind. Was I good enough? Did I write well? Was writing it in Filipino a bad choice? Was writing really the career choice for me? Should I start moving on? Should I find a different path to take?

There was nothing left for me to do but wait. It was the make or break moment. Kung hindi talaga para sa 'kin, wala na kong magagawa.

Monday, March 26, I received a call from Ms. Vangie. The words, "Isa ka sa napili namin for the training..." were music to my ears. Kulang na lang ay magtatalon ako sa tuwa! However, I kept mum about it to my friends until I have signed the contract on Thursday, March 29. Baka kasi maudlot pa, naisip ko. It ain't over till the fat lady sings, ika nga. Thank heavens was all I could say when I was writing my John Hancock. This is it! I am now part of the Creative Development Group's writer's training. Ibang level na 'to!

The training will start this coming week 'till December. Afterwards, evaluation, and if lucky, I'd go on with the advanced training the following year. I'm keeping my fingers crossed 'till then.

Years ago, I didn't see myself working (I wouldn't call what I'd do in the training, though, as "work" exactly -- it has something to do with work equals salary) for ABS-CBN. Since college, I consider myself as an exclusive "Kapuso." But recently, I found myself in the middle ground. I found myself not exclusive to anything. While I really don't believe in staying in the middle, especially with some issues (one has to choose sides!), there are advantages to it. I guess, like any other person, we have pre-conceived notions about "the other side." We think that one is better than the other. It could be the case to some things, but it doesn't work with other stuff.

Since elementary, I belong to an exclusive class (comparable to block section, in college). I had the same classmates/friends until we reached our fourth year high school. We were opposed to classes going hetero but we could do nothing. (Nagpapaka-"hetero" rin ako that time, if you know what I mean. He he he.)

During the first few weeks of class, there was an all-out war. Naghalo talaga ang balat sa tinalupan. Tahimik kami, maingay sila. We belong to the "higher" class, they belong to the "lower" class. I even wrote an article entitled "Sa Pula, Sa Puti" to express my disgust re our room situation. If we didn't have any seat plan, we could've stayed divided till the last day of class.

However, as we get to know "the others", we learned that they aren't so bad after all, and vice versa. I realized that the advantage to the new sectioning was having new friends. It was such a diverse group that I get to enjoy hanging out with them, be they in red or white.

Same thing in college. We didn't lose friends, we gained new ones.

So, with this new development in my life, I'd hope to gain new insights and I'm excited to have new friends. Even though I am in exclusive contract with Star Cinema, I am open to anything -- be they fulfillment and/or disappointments.

Ngayon, hindi lang ako Kapuso, Kapamilya pa! Kabarkada rin (Studio 23) na Kasama Mo (RPN-9) dahil Idol Maging Iba (ABC-5). Ay, corny na ba? He he he.

A 1M Dollar Question

I went to Star Cinema earlier today for my final CDG training interview. Amongst the questions of goals, experiences, and whatnots, a million dollar question was asked by Ms Tammy:

MT: Are you in a relationship?
JD: Y-yes...
MT: Any plans of getting married?
JD: Hmm.. (with a smile on my face) Not yet...
MT: How long na ba?
JD: Four years?
MT: O, di pa ba siya nagtatanong?
JD: Hmm.. Hindi pa naman.
MT: Do you have plans of having a family though?
JD: Yes...
MT: Of settling down?
JD: Yes, someday. (smile still plastered on my face)
MT: Buti di ka kinukulit.
JD: Career po muna.
MT: So kailan mo balak?
MT: Ah.. pag pwede na po ang m2m wedding...

With that, nagtawanan lang kami!

Kairita!

I am absent today in school. Di ko feel pumasok because I'm sorta not feeling well na rin. Yesterday was quite a terrible day. I haven't had much sleep since we came in late the night before. We (Biboy and I and some of my good friends) saw Sharon's b-day concert in Araneta. I was late for school (about 15 minutes, my time is 8:30 AM). When I arrived, imagine my shock when I only saw five students inside the room! According to them, the others are still outside doing whatever it is they are doing.

So s'ympre wait lang ako patiently. 9 AM passed and no sight of the others yet. Until 9:15 AM, unti-unti nang nagdatingan ang mga mokong! Quiet lang ako. Pikon na ko, eh. Pag pasok nila, others greeted me good morning. I stood up and wrote an exercise on the board for them to do. Quiet pa rin ako. Until the last few arrived at mega-daldal ang ginawa as if they did nothing wrong! After I wrote the exercise, I added, "Work on it QUIETLY!!!" Kaya ayun, natahimik na rin ang mga hinayupak.

Nawindang sila sa exercise! Some were asking what to do pero deadma ako. I didn't want to speak kasi baka kung ano pa ang masabi ko sila. Nagpupuyos na ang damdamin ko sa kaloob-looban ko!

Five minutes before ten, after I took their papers, di ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Talagang sinabon ko na sila! I told them that they are the only ones who did what they did to me. Kung sa pakapalan din lang ng mukha, they won by default! With flying colors pa!

I wouldn't mind it if only a few of them were late but it was 95% of the class! Then, papasok sila sa room, walked casually as if what they did was no big deal. Dadaanan-daanan lang ako at mag-iingay sa loob ng class. Aba aba aba! Di ko mapapalampas 'yun.

When I got to my other class, medyo nag-iinit pa ko. Buti na lang at matino 'yung klase na 'yun. I have asked them to check the papers that we were supposed to check in my previous class. Pinagbigyan naman nila ako. That few minutes of checking (and not thinking so much) had calmed my nerves down.

I thought that the earlier incident was the end of it. Mas matindi pa pala 'yung huli kong klase! Late na nagdismiss 'yung teacher nila -- 12:30 PM na ko nakapasok when our time is 12 PM. Then inabutan kong hindi sila kumpleto. Anyway, continue pa rin ako. We have checked their Prelim exams. Ang matindi ay nang dumating ang iba -- they stood outside the room contemplating on whether to go inside or not, decided not for whatever reason, then walked around the campus! Wow! Winner talaga ang mga lolo!

Pagkatapos naming mag-check, I saw the boys outside the room. Napasigaw na ko talaga! "Papasok ba kayo o hindi?! Kanina pa kayo, ah!" I swear, habang sinesermunan ko sila, ilang beses ko na silang minura sa isip ko! Napagsalitaan ko na sila ng hindi magaganda. At tagalog kung tagalog ang monologue ko! Nung umaga, nakakapag-ingles pa ko, eh.

I have reiterated to them several times how bad their grades are with me. Judging from the results of the exams, half of them will fail my subject. Tapos may ganang pa silang magpa-bondying-bondying?! Well, pasensyahan na lang kung hindi sila magtitino. Bagsak kung bagsak ang gagawin ko sa kanila. (I was lenient with my grades last semester. Pinasa ko 'yung ilan kahit hindi deserving pumasa.) I even told them na hindi ko malubos maisip kung bakit sila pumasa ng English 1 (I wasn't their teacher last sem)!

It wasn't my intention to humiliate them. I just want them to know their class standing and this isn't the time to take things lightly. Hindi nila sineseryoso 'yung subject ko. I wouldn't mind it if they don't pay much attention in class or they're absent most of the time, as long as they have something to offer during recitation, exercises, quizzes, and exams. Kaso hindi. Kung mag-aasta akala mo alam na nila lahat.

Because of that, s'ympre napunta na sa kanila ang korona ng kakapalan ng mukha from the other class. Mas matindi sila! But mind you, iisang course lang 'yung pinanggalingan ng dalawang class na 'yun.

I've told them, kung ayaw nila sa akin o nahihirapan sila, lipat na lang ako sa klaseng gusto ako maging teacher at sa kanila na 'yung teacher n'un.

I went home very tired and so hungry. I haven't had any food eversince I woke up. It was already past 2 PM. Pag uwi ko, wala pang lutong pagkain! Ay, winner talaga! Muntik na kong mapaiyak.

Eyeball / Gimmick

On Oct. 16, 2006, the stage was set for my Philippine Literature class. My students were to present their play as part of their finals. They had only about a month of practice because it took me a while before I found a piece that they could relate to. Aside from that, I made sure that it'd be light on memorization and easy to understand.

I chose a play entitled Sa Sabado Sa Sam's by Chris Martinez (of Sukob and ZsaZsa Zaturnnah: Ze Musikal). When I first read it, I immediately knew that it was the right piece for my students. Because its theme was quite adult in nature, I had to make a few adjustments and adapt it to the nature of my students. I also managed to infused some musical numbers in it. Then, after a while, I saw the 10-minute play written by Alfonso Dacanay called Eyeball (included in the book compilation called 10x10x10). I felt that it had to be included in our play so I made it our first act. Unlike Sam's, I only tweaked a few dialogues in it. Some of my actors had a hard time pronouncing some dialogues - English kasi. Not to belittle them but they are not exactly used to speaking the language. "Masang-masa" kasi.

In Eyeball, the characters are Patrick (Alfred Edji Lorenzo - on the pic sitting down) and Eileen (Rosalie Dave - girl in stripes on pic) who are about to meet for an eyeball. They have been chatting online and talking on the phone for quite some time and decided to take a step further. Only that when Patrick saw Eileen, he realized that she wasn't the girl for him judging from how she looked. With them are Eileen's gay best friend, Wilson (Edwin Reinier Reyes - in black shirt on pic), and Patrick's cousin, Rosemary (April Labicane). Among the four, Rosalie and Edwin stood out in their perfomances. They were very relaxed and natural.

My version of Sam's was entitled Sa Manang's in the beginning. I changed it to Gimmick to coincide with the first act. Gimmick is about a group of five friends who vented out each other's problems all throughout the week before Saturday came - their group gimmick day. The characters were all in their teens - college level. In Chris's work, their ages ranged from 24-25 - working individuals.

Second act opened with Ryan (Darwin Sto. Domingo -left) and Quely (Shirley Taculog -right). Ryan is a gay guy whose main concern was not having a boyfriend. (Originally, he is Lloyd who just broke up with his boyfriend.) The moment Darwin spoke, the audience cheered. Most of them were shocked on how good his portrayal of a gay guy. He is straight and nobody knew that he could pull of such act.

Napabilib niya rin ako several times with how he delivered his lines. Kahit may mga nakalimutang linya, go pa rin! Adlib to death! He has gotten most of the laughs by the audience.

The last part of his Tumatakbo musical dream sequence (with Gilbert Umali)
Quely and Ella's (Jenipher Casabuena) scene followed next. Quely was in between accepting or not accepting her parent's separation. She feels that the separation would be mostly hard for her younger siblings. (Originally, she is Pating who recently lived on her own and learned that her parents are separating).

I had difficulty adapting her character. Mahirap kasing lagyan ng patawa ang isang seryosong topic tulad ng paghihiwalay. Her scene was the shortest among the five characters because I couldn't stretch it any longer.

The picture shows Quely singing Mama by Smokey Mountain. Her mom was working as a domestic help in HK when she came to back and finally decided on the separation. The song was played in full volume and it almost made me cry including some of the audience. It somehow reminded me of my mom. Shirley mostly just stood in front and sang the song. Despite the lack of movements, it was very touching! One of the best parts that day!

Next scene was that of Ella and Eric's (Rinky Soriano). Ella's dilemma is that she feels conscious about her looks. She feels that she is ugly. Eric tries to comfort her by saying that she isn't. But calrifies that she isn't pretty either. (Originally, she is Peaches who has the same problem as Ella. I didn't change much of her dialogues. Iniklian ko lang.)

Jenipher was really good during rehearhals. However, nervousness got the better of her on stage. She wasn't able to give her best but her Ikaw ang Miss Universe ng Buhay Ko production number is still a blast!

Eric (with Hannah - Rochelle Tupaz) recently got basted by a girl. Ang himutok niya ay pinaasa siya nung nililigawan niya, si Daisy. He feels that Daisy should have told him from the start that he has no chance with her. However, because he loves her, a part of him still wishes that she would come to her senses and agress to become his girlfriend. (Originally, he is Mario, a marijuana user. You see why I needed to change his characterization?)

A scene from the Beer musical sequence

In the last scene before the finale, Hannah is contemplating on breaking up with her boyfriend. She thinks that he is having an affair with someone because he hasn't communicated with her the night before when he promised that he would. "Ni isang text wala," she said. (Originally, she is Harlene who just broke up with her boyfriend).

In her Paalam Na production number, Rochelle cried bucket of tears. It wasn't in the script that she should cry or even during rehearsals. But she did on stage! It lasted for 2 minutes or so. 'Yun pala, during one of the scenes, she was accidentally hit by another actor. Sa sobrang sakit, napaiyak siya. The good thing was that it perfectly fit the finale of the song.

The last scene is when they all meet for their Saturday gimmick. They meet in their favorite tambayan, Manang's, only to discover that it is close for some unknown reason. So instead of hanging out there, they quickly decide where to go. The decide to go to Ryan's place to watch a pirated copy of Sukob.

Overall, the play was a success! There were a few glitches but the important thing was that the audience enjoyed the event. It was evident in their laughters!

If plans would push through, we'll stage it again this coming semester. Only that it'd be bigger and better than the first production. Audience wouldn't be limited to those who could fit a certain room. It'd be done on a proper stage for the whole school to see! I'm crossing my fingers...

P.S. Paumanhin kina Ginoong Alfonso Dacanay at Chris Martinez sa pagbabago ng inyong script na lingid sa inyong kaalaman...

Go Multiply the pictures
Listen to some of the songs used in the play through My Playlist

Good Ole Place/Displaced

My first week in college was a tough one for me. After every class, at night, I'd cry myself to sleep. I found it difficult to adjust since I didn't become friends with anyone that easily. I had wish that I was back in high school where everything was all right. Where everything was safe. I had wanted to be with my friends whom I knew would protect me with the difficulties I was facing then. However, I learned to get along with people and started developing a clique. From then on, college became a happy place.

When I started my masteral class in Ateneo (and my first work a few months after), I felt that I was back in my first day of college. Only this time, I was wishing that I was with college buddies. Back to the time when everything felt good. When everything was familiar and safe. Of course, after a while, I have adapted myself with the new life. So the emptiness during the few week faded.

As of today, I'm at a crossroad. My future seemed unclear. My life looked uncertain. Unsafe.

Whenever I am faced with such dilemma, like any other people, I resort to doing what would made me feel safe or good -- whether it'd be a place or food. During the last couple of months, I had this need in me to collect and watch the TV shows I grew up watching. Somehow, these shows make me feel secure even for a just a while. It brings me back to those days when I look for ward to seeing them every week. After I see them, it was a sure thing that they'd give me a pleasant feeling.

It is my coping mechanism when I need to examine my life and think about the path that I have to take. Before I'd go and take some action, I somehow go back to my past. Even though the past wasn't exactly a bed of roses, you know that it was a safe place to go back to because you managed to get past through it.

I don't know why is my life a big bowl of irony these days. I don't understand why I can't pay my obligations now that I have a job, as oppose to when I was a bum. When I was free, at the end of the month, I somehow get enough money to pay my debt and some extra cash for movies and food. It was more than what I am getting now with my job. I don't know why the job that I thought was a blessing turned out to be the lowest-paying salary of my entire career. Now, I have to decide whether to stay or not since the end of the semester is fast-approaching. If I leave, will there be something good coming for me? If I stay, would I get stuck and be in debt for the rest of my life? What I have right at the moment isn't exactly good but it makes me feel a contributing person to the society. Even though my salary isn't qualified enough to pay for taxes -- which could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it.

Soon, I have to choose the road I need to take. Whatever it may be, may God help me...

Am I making something worthwhile
Out of this place
Am I making something worthwhile
Out of this chase
I am displaced
I am displaced.

(From the song "Displaced" by Azure Ray from Felicity soundtrack)

Bitter-Bitteran

"Bitter si Jheck, 'yan ang sabi ni _____," were Halili's text to Acy when she asked her about our director's group message last night. The message had something to do about asking some support from the members re the counteraction that he might do against me and Don's complaint letter. We formally made a letter re our concerns to the GMAAC. It was sent last week and apparently, it was only yesterday that the people involved read it.

For one thing, the most unsettling question we had in mind was that why is there a need to ask for members' support when, clearly, the complaint was against him and us? It was about the script that he so-admittedly rewrote without informing us citing that he was busy. Does he really need them to make a counter letter? Doesn't he have the balls to face us himself? Why does he need back-up?!

According to dictionary.com, bitter means (1) hard to bear, grievous, distressful; (2) causing pain, piercing, stinging. Yes, what he did made us sick to our stomachs. For a while, we tried to take them all in. Thinking that, in time, he'd do what is right for the group and its members. But there's so much that we could take. Not doing something about our situation would disgrace us further. He did an atrocious offense which caused us pain and suffering. For that, he is right to say that I am bitter!

Bitter is (3) characterized by intense antagonism or hostility. When one has been pushed to the mud, kicked and spat on, one has to take an action. We couldn't take it sitting down anymore and pretending that everything was fine. Rewriting the script without our knowledge pushed Don and me to the threshold. It was the very worst thing that he did amongst the other bad things. Being nice didn't do good. If hostility is what it takes to put him in his right place, so be it! Let me be bitter!

Bitter is when something is (4) hard to admit or accept. We enrolled in the workshop with positive outlook. We wanted to learn more about the ropes of the business. We were keen on meeting new people that have the same desires as ours. Sadly, what we didn't expect was that we would be thrown-in into the dirty politics of the business this early. What we learned that most is how cruel the business could be to newbies like us and how it could destroy people's relationships. Now, tell me - is that easy to swallow? Wouldn't you be bitter, too, if that happened to you?

Bitter is when you become (5) resentful or cynical. There are so many things that I'd wish were different. I regretted having him around as a group mate. I guess, if not for that one girl in our group, he wouldn't join us in the first place. So should I say that I wish that we didn't have her, too? I am so-regretting that I didn't step up to him earlier. That I let him manipulated us while the whole production was going on. If I just used my voice, this might have been prevented. But there's no use for wishful thinking now or enumerating the what ifs. What we need to do now is face what would lie ahead. I am hoping that this experience wouldn't leave us jaded and bitter in the end.

If I am bitter, it isn't my fault. This is all your doing! So now, it's time for you to taste it. Who knows, you might like it!

If you notice, I don't dare mention your name here. Just because I'm still decent enough to protect you and whatever dignity you have left in your name.

The War Is On

Just when ceasefire between Lebanon and Israel started, our own war began. Last Sunday, Don & I have reached the highest peak of our disappointment upon learning the most shocking event in the history of our workshop lives -- the script that was asked to be rewritten a week prior to the original date of our shoot was not the one used on the day itself! Our director rewrote the script the way he truly wanted it to be without our knowledge. What's worst is that never did he approach us once during the entire shoot. He didn't apologize or the least inform us that he had to revise the script for so and so reason. He bypassed us as if it wasn't such a big deal.

People who had high concerns for us, of course, felt bad for us. However disappointed, I didn't know how to react properly with such faced situation. I guess, you could say that I felt sorta numb with the entire thing. For one thing, all my defenses were down since I don't have much energy to begin with. I hadn't slept well the night before. All day long, I had this lingering headache that stayed till the shooting ended. Second, there was so much to do that thinking and feeling were out of the question.

"If I were you, I have walked out on it," friends would say. Perhaps that was the best thing to do given that rude behavior that we have received from him. But as I've mentioned, I had a numbing feeling all day long. Besides, walking out would mean having to leave our friends behind during the entire shoot. We couldn't afford to leave Acy, Bibs, and Len because they would have a more difficult time without us. It wasn't the time or the place to think about ourselves. We stayed for our team -- Don, Acy, Bibs, Len, and I, and not for anyone else.

Yesterday, despite the lack of sleep since we arrived at home at around past 1 AM, Monday night, I went to school. I should have rested but I thought that since I will just be giving a quiz, it won't be that hard and tiring. During the quiz, 3 of my students cheated right under my nose! I was seated in front of them. They were doing it as if I wasn't there or as if I didn't notice. After class, I had called their attention to it. I told them, "Di na kayo nahiya sa kin? Nasa harapan n'yo pa man din ako?" I continued, "Sige, kung di kayo nahihiya sa kin, mahiya na lang kayo sa sarili n'yo!" While I was saying those words, I could almost cry. I felt that I was back at the time and place the day before it. The events started to sink in on me now. Our director spat on our faces! We were betrayed! We were stepped on! As if it wasn't enough, we were kicked, as well!

From then on, I decided to do something about it. No more nice guys anymore. We have kept our silence about the issues between us for too long. We can't just sit and wait for him to realize his mistakes.

I have asked Don to write the formal complaint letter addressed to GMA Artist Center while I would do my letter to the director cc to our head facilitator stating our feelings toward the entire production process until the day of the shoot. Prior to that, I have sent our director, cc to our head facilitator, text messages saying that Don & I wouldn't be attending any of the editing sessions. As a decent human being, I felt that informing him is the best thing to do. Besides, I felt that the more we participate, the more he thinks that what he was doing was OK with us. "We don't feel part of this whole endeavor anyway when you blatantly rewrite the whole script under our noses," I said. It wasn't our script anymore. It wasn't our story. What's more was that we requested to not put our names as screen writers on the credits.

Upon learning such, the head facilitator texted me saying, "We'll talk about it later. OK?" But I never received a message or call from him after that. Instead, I got a message from our director a few hours after. "Sorry about that. For awhile there, I just wanted to get done with Kasal kasi mabigat din because of the rift in the group at may ibang projects ako ginagawa. Na bring up ko sa last two meetings regarding the script, di ko lang nasabi din kasi busy din ako." Giving out the I'm-busy-reason was unacceptable to me. Don & I are just a phone call or text away. And since the rest of his group knew about it, why not asked them to tell us? Did he also forget that Acy was there at the last pre-prod meeting -- the night he'd be revising the script? He could've told her about it since he was his Assistant Director. Why was she left out of it? The truth is, he didn't tell us because he knew that what he'd be doing was so damn wrong!

It was a big deal! He had disrespected us not only as the assigned group's writers but as part of the group and paying students of the workshop. He made us feel worthless -- twice! Why the hell did he OK'd the two scripts that we wrote when in fact he didn't like it? Besides, don't we have a say regarding the production? Are we just his mere staff and crew that we need to abide by his rules? Nah-uh! No, siree! In reality, we are the most important students in the workshop since we paid for it and he was just a mere scholar! Has he forgotten that?! We somehow paid for his part on the workshop!

Last night, I started writing him a letter stating all my feelings toward him and the production. I had smoothly written it. Thoughts just came pouring in so easily. Partly, we allowed this to happen because we didn't say a damn thing about it earlier. We kept our silence because of fear. Now that the shooting is over, there is no need to stay mum anymore. We have kept our feelings to ourselves long enough.

Aside from him, I have poured out my feelings of disappointment towards another person in our group. It wasn't about her per se but about the thing that I felt that she should have done -- inform us or ask if we knew about the script revision. I was hurt knowing that she knew about it and did not do anything. I thought she was a friend. But then, instead of somehow getting my point, she lashed out on me saying this and that! I tried explaining to her my side yet she kept on pushing her own disappointments about the group on me. In the end, I had to surrender. I couldn't get through to her and there was no point of arguing with her.

I was forwarding some of the messages I was sending to my friends in the group. I want them to know the steps that I have been taking although I made it clear that I won't drag their names. In the complaint letter, it was my name and Don's who was in it. In the letter to our director, it was I who was the signee. The most unexpected text came in today, "Jheck, ayokong madamay. I don't wanna get involved. I'm sorry. But I'm still your friend. I hope you understand." Because I was half-asleep when I read it, I told her that it was OK. I understand.

But then, I couldn't go back to sleep anymore. That message bothered me -- a lot! I suddenly felt a tweak of pain in my chest. My heart was beating as if I had a needle stuck right to it. It had hurt me a lot. It felt like I was dropped like a hot potato by someone close to me. The thing is, I told her, she need not fight the battle for me or with me. As long as we know that she supports us, that would be enough. The truth is, she didn't even need to say it. We just feel that she'd be standing by our side. However, it was a wrong presumption on my side.

It was that message that made me cry. I swear, it was unexpected. I was very much offended by it. It is so sad that we get support more from friends outside our group instead of within our group. Still, I refuse to believe the saying that "You only know who your friends are in times of crisis." Because I do not believe that she is not a friend, in the first place. Or could I just be in denial? My instincts about people are almost always true and as I think about it, I may be... Nah! I don't wanna think about it at the moment.

War is an ugly battle. No one wins in it. There will always be casualities along the way. It is sickening to think that we are just on our way to it yet bridges have already been burned... Relationships have already been defiled...

P.S.
Don is having an emotional battle of his own. His mom is sick and he couldn't tell his parents about what happened knowing that they'd get hurt by it. His mom sickness might worsened because of it.