Bitter-Bitteran

"Bitter si Jheck, 'yan ang sabi ni _____," were Halili's text to Acy when she asked her about our director's group message last night. The message had something to do about asking some support from the members re the counteraction that he might do against me and Don's complaint letter. We formally made a letter re our concerns to the GMAAC. It was sent last week and apparently, it was only yesterday that the people involved read it.

For one thing, the most unsettling question we had in mind was that why is there a need to ask for members' support when, clearly, the complaint was against him and us? It was about the script that he so-admittedly rewrote without informing us citing that he was busy. Does he really need them to make a counter letter? Doesn't he have the balls to face us himself? Why does he need back-up?!

According to dictionary.com, bitter means (1) hard to bear, grievous, distressful; (2) causing pain, piercing, stinging. Yes, what he did made us sick to our stomachs. For a while, we tried to take them all in. Thinking that, in time, he'd do what is right for the group and its members. But there's so much that we could take. Not doing something about our situation would disgrace us further. He did an atrocious offense which caused us pain and suffering. For that, he is right to say that I am bitter!

Bitter is (3) characterized by intense antagonism or hostility. When one has been pushed to the mud, kicked and spat on, one has to take an action. We couldn't take it sitting down anymore and pretending that everything was fine. Rewriting the script without our knowledge pushed Don and me to the threshold. It was the very worst thing that he did amongst the other bad things. Being nice didn't do good. If hostility is what it takes to put him in his right place, so be it! Let me be bitter!

Bitter is when something is (4) hard to admit or accept. We enrolled in the workshop with positive outlook. We wanted to learn more about the ropes of the business. We were keen on meeting new people that have the same desires as ours. Sadly, what we didn't expect was that we would be thrown-in into the dirty politics of the business this early. What we learned that most is how cruel the business could be to newbies like us and how it could destroy people's relationships. Now, tell me - is that easy to swallow? Wouldn't you be bitter, too, if that happened to you?

Bitter is when you become (5) resentful or cynical. There are so many things that I'd wish were different. I regretted having him around as a group mate. I guess, if not for that one girl in our group, he wouldn't join us in the first place. So should I say that I wish that we didn't have her, too? I am so-regretting that I didn't step up to him earlier. That I let him manipulated us while the whole production was going on. If I just used my voice, this might have been prevented. But there's no use for wishful thinking now or enumerating the what ifs. What we need to do now is face what would lie ahead. I am hoping that this experience wouldn't leave us jaded and bitter in the end.

If I am bitter, it isn't my fault. This is all your doing! So now, it's time for you to taste it. Who knows, you might like it!

If you notice, I don't dare mention your name here. Just because I'm still decent enough to protect you and whatever dignity you have left in your name.