More of Janet's life in the US. This time, it's about dating. I thought that her stories only happen in the movies/TV but I was dead wrong! True enough, movies mirror life. Or is it a case or life mirroring movies? Hmm...Anyway, this is long but worth reading! Funny!
Miss you, girl!
August 10, 2006
kumusta na kayong lahat?!
sorry it took me forever to write you all back ... not having my own laptop plus the strict firewall in my office pc can be quite frustrating. so do bear with me coz this email will be sabog and full of typos coz am doing this while am on my break on a friend's laptop.
i'm approaching my third month here (3 months! can u believe it?! why does it feel longer than that?) which is why i've been feeling unusually nostalgic & senti a couple of weeks ago. i've only been gone for a while and already, i've reminisced about every single detail of my life back there ... TWICE! am not complaining ok? this is probably the second best thing that's ever happened to my career and not a lot of people are given this kind of opportunity. am very very thankful. it's just that living my whole life under the comfort of my family and friends in an familiar environment, then suddenly giving it all up to seek supposedly greener pastures in a foreign country where everybody is a stranger, well ... it can be tiring, you know. it's such a huge effort to adjust to the people and surroundings and weather ... nakakapagod din.
thank God i don't have to face any language barriers here! in fact, most of the locals i met are surprised that my english is 'perfect'! *roll eyes* yes, they all called it 'perfect'. i don't remember anymore how many times i had to explain that english is our second language and everyone, as in EVERYONE in the philippines can speak and read the language. and that 95% of our subjects in school -- from elementary to college -- are in english. may script na nga ako noh! i know this will sound bad but i just find it hilarious when some of them are obviously at a loss as to what and where the philippines is. one of them even asked if it snowed in the philippines. hehehe (tanga!) i forgive their ignorance. let's face it, the philippines isn't exactly as popular as the other asian countries (japan, china, vietnam, korea). although i do admit that i feel extremely annoyed when they assume that the philippines is one gigantic farmland, lacking of any modern infrastructure, and that transportation meant horses and cows. i have no idea why they have that impression. there are times naman that i would meet people who are familiar with our country. the guy behind the counter of where i buy my groceries asked me what my nationality was. i told him that i'm a filipino. he said na he was told that there are a lot of nice places in the philippines. apparently, he used to be in the army and one of his friends was based in the philippines and had nice things to say about it. kewl! nakakataba ng puso =)
since most of you keep on asking, eto na : yes, i've been going out on dates. *wink* o, don't get ur hopes up coz you're in for a huge disappointment! basta, read on and you'll know why!
i've been meeting a lot of locals and to be honest, medyo mahirap coz nauubusan ako ng 'perfect' english! iba talaga dito. i went out with this guy who lived 45 minutes away. one thing i noticed is that BIG DEAL dito ang distance. araw araw kasi tumataas ang gas and since it's 45 minutes to pick me up then 45 minutes travel time nya para sha maka-uwi, medyo nalayuan ata kasi one time, nag-comment na sana marunong ako magdrive para puntahan ko daw sha. huwaaaaaaat?! are u some kinda ok?! scuuuuse me noh! i don't think so! NEXT!
so far, i haven't been on a date na kumain ako. no joke! no one's asked me for dinner, ever!!! it's either billiards, bowling, darts or movies .... yes, my friends ... you read it correctly : billiards bowling and darts! what the hell?! can u imagine me playing fucking billiards and darts and bowling?!?!?!? kung di lang cute yung guy, goodnight na itoh, uwi na lang ako! pero sige, kaladkarin naman ako, so ok, fine! billiards, darts at bowling na kahit mukha akong tanga. (pasalamat sila na di ako bratinella noh!) of course i sucked big time! di na tinatanong yun! e hello naman po, you all know naman na am not sporty spice noh! so lunok na lang ako ng pride and pinanindigan ang mga ito. oh, i forgot that there was also basketball .... hehehe .... anak ng pucha naman o! ganito ba talaga dito?!?!?! utang na loob!!!!!! in fairness, nag-enjoy naman ako kahit lampa ako. may mga napasok naman akong mga bola sa billiards (di lang lahat) at may mga napapatumba naman akong pins nung nag-bowling ako (may dalawang strike pa nga e) at may mga na-shoot naman akong mga bola during basketball. pero, am sorrrreeee, palpak talaga ako sa darts! (loser!)
the best part was when i beat one of my dates on the air hockey table. (am sure you're familiar with that game ... almost every timezone has one). it's the only game that i know am good at and since i was already on a losing streak that night after two games of bowling, my date asked if i was up for it. so i said sure, why not? nothing to lose na naman ako since olats na olats na beauty ko diba? well, it turns out that i beat him 10 to 5. yey me! (palakpak naman dyan!) it was so funny coz it was very obvious na napipikon na yung guy. to the point na lumilipad na yung puck out of the table coz he was hitting it so hard! hahaha! di naman sha competitive noh? apparently, he's never been beaten by a girl on that game before. well, now am sure he'll always remember me! (dunno pa if that's a good or bad ... will have to wait and see! *wink*)
besides the sportsfest, i went on a zoo field trip. hahahaha! yup, i went to the friggin zoo .... and i never went out with that guy again!! shet! di ako maka-relate sa kanya coz he's some kinda shakespearean type of dude and that's all he talked about. huhuhu, gusto ko na maghanap ng taxi at umuwi! (naku, kung di lang ginto ang bayad sa mga taxi dito!) di ko alam kung sumakit ulo ko dahil sa sobrang init at naglalakad lang kami the whole time or dahil sa extra effort of keeping up with the conversation ... i think it was both. (bwiset!)
i also did the coffee-date (starbucks) and i never saw the guy again either. you will all think am being mean but he was sooo geeky na sumakit din ulo ko sa kanya! sobrang geek talaga e! at first ok naman ... we talked about my favorite topic : movies! pero later on, ang labo nya kausap! when he asked about my religion (which i have no idea kung paano napunta sa topic na yun yung conversation namin) i said am catholic. his reply : "awesome" .... um, ano naman ang kina-awesome ng pagiging catholic ko?! go figure menn! *roll eyes* when he asked me out again, i asked what we were gonna do. so he asked me what i wanted to do. so shempre, sagot ako na i wanted to watch a movie. so ok, fine movie na. i wanted to watch pirates of the caribbean dead man's chest. patay, di pwede kasi di nya type si johnny depp because apparently, johnny depp said a lot of bad things about america and now lives in europe. so the geek doesn't want to watch any movies with johnny depp in it. (huwaaat?!?!?!? sorta kinda patriotic of him, noh? affected, grabeh! lost ako ditoh!!!!) so usap usap then biglang mag-bowling na lang daw kami. ako naman, um, ok. (shit, bowling again! by the end of the year, magiging expert bowler na ako sa dami ng beses kong nag-bo-bowling!) then usap usap uli yada yada blah blah, biglang wag na lang daw bowling, mag-barbeque na lang daw kami sa bahay nya at dun na lang kami manood ng videos. ano bah?!!!!!! umiinit na ulo ko sa yo ha!!!! make up your fucking mind menn!!! napaisip tuloy ako na parang tinitipid ata ako nito! so para lang matapos yung conversation, i said sure then we ended the call. later that week, he texted and asked if tuloy kami. i replied na something came up and that i wouldn't be able to go. call me a flaker, i don't care pero di talaga kaya ng powers ko to go out with him again! anyways, na-karma ata ako coz i was supposed to go out with this blonde, blue eyed dude last sat (he's no brad pitt -- asa pa ako -- just thought you should know. although, ok sha kausap). to cut the story short, he cancelled on that day itself and gusto sana bumawi and wanted to take me out on sunday instead, pero sa sobrang inis ko, i told him i already made plans for that day (even though church was the only thing on my itinerary for that day). so next time na lang daw. whatever!
yung pinaka-winner sa kanilang lahat ay yung naka-date ko two weeks ago. when he arrived, he rang the bell. so when i opened the door, nagulat ako and i wanted to close it kaagad ... not because he was drop dead gorgeous and neither was he fugly (new word i picked up : fugly = fucking ugly), but because i didn't want him to see me laughing ... why? coz he had a unibrow .... oh no! huhuhu! gusto ko magkasakit on the spot! pero hinde, nag-commit na ako, might as well go through with it. (besides, if i didn't push trhough with it, wala akong makukuwento sa inyo! hehehe) so instead of closing the door, nag -"hi how are you" ako (acting to the max!) and at the same time nagdasal na please Lord, tulungan nyo akong pigilin ang tawa ko! i've never ever seen a live unibrow before .... i've only seen frida kahlo's photos and the trailers of the movie where salma hayek portrayed frida. so when i saw this guy with the unibrow, my will power to not stare was all the way up to the maximum level! when he would talk to me, di ako tumitingin coz every time na titingin ako sa kanya, images of tweezers and wax strips and razors are floating in my mind. if the unibrow wasn't enough, i could barely understand what he was saying. even though he's been in america for the past eight years (he's originally from albany), his thick accent makes it difficult for me to comprehend what he was talking about so i kept on asking him repeat what he was saying. it came to a point that i pretended na lang to understand his words. the date lasted a total of two hours ... the longest, most excruciating two hours of my existence. what did we do? well, he said we were gonna have dinner then watch a movie. so i was wondering why we went to the park. tambay lang kami sa may mga swing, watching kids play and dogs running around. maya-maya, medyo gutom na ako. i asked him if he ate na. anak na pating, kumain na daw sha!!! am sorreeeee!!!!!! so, trying not to lose my temper coz baka di ako ihatid nito, i asked if it was ok if we passed by mcdonald's. he said sure. so we went to mcdo. he parked the car, i went down na and walked ahead (gutom na ako). di po sha bumaba ng car! nyeta! so i got my order to go, paid and went back to the car, and he brought me home. i literally ran back to my apartment! grabecious menn!!!!!!! gusto ko maloka! anong klaseng date itoh?!?!?! i told my roomies about it and tawa sila ng tawa! i told you pinaka-winner si unibrow! may pahabol pa : he called two days later and asked if i wanted to go out again. (ngiiiii!!!!!!!! ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw!!!!!) i politely declined. never heard from him again ... except for a couple of emails that he send which i just deleted. never again!!!!!!! yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck!
i went out naman with another guy and told him about unibrow. natawa din sha and told me na if he didn't have his eyebrows waxed, he would probably have a unibrow as well. i replied na sobrang perfect ng eyebrows nya, mas maganda pa yung sa kanya kesa sa akin! he was like "no way! of course not!" .... napikon ata coz i never saw him again! hahahahahahaha! huwaat?!?!?! di ko na-get yun! hahahahaha! crazy noh? the things i do to avoid boredom! my gulay!
miss you all!
beso,
janet
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