Crashed

I miss writing terribly! I have been busy these last few weeks that I couldn't find time to write. Actually, I do have some spare time to do some posts. The problem is that I am so tired to do such. So whenever I sit and face the computer, my mind goes blank.

Today, I was able to catch up on my sleep. After I finished my class at11:30 AM, I went home and ate lunch. Then, I slept. I finally was able to do my 5 days old laundry during the afternoon. After dinner, here I am!

For the record, I am writing using my dad's laptop. My pc had crashed down (again)! The past few days weren't good to me particularly the last 3 days!

Last Sunday, we learned how "kuya" felt about us through Acy. For weeks now, Don and Acy were trying their best to ask him share what's on his mind because he had been silent during group discussion. Don managed to received silent treatment from him. However, last Saturday night, Acy succeeded on knowing his thoughts through texts. They were not good, mind you! Actually, they were sooooo bad that I couldn't help cursing while reading them the next day! Don was even more hurt because he made mentioned of him in one of his messages. We (Don & I) were carrying the emotional baggages all throughout the day!

To add more to the burden, Biboy and I fought last Saturday. The topic of which I won't discuss here anymore. It was carried over till the next day and the day that followed it. So while I was feeling so bad re "kuya's" words, Biboy was arguing with me through text. I felt emotionally drained. I didn't even know how to react anymore. I just took things the way they were. The whole rollercoaster ride made me feel numb.

Yesterday, I seemed to reached the highest peak of the rollercoaster ride! My pc crashed down! My celfone failed to start-up! Despite the fights with Biboy through it, my celfone was keeping me sane all throughout the emotional struggles. It has been a companion because of all the fun messaging I was doing with workshop friends (particularly with Acy, Don, Bibs, Apple, and Monro) . It was a stress-reliever of some sort. Idagag mo pa na natatanggal 'ung isang salamin sa salamin ko sa mata! Kaloka talaga! Pagod. Antok. Disappointments. School stress. Frustrations. Halo-halo na! If I could just disappear that day, I would! Kaya naman when I went to Wellcom to have my fone repaired, I just sitted there and waited for a while without complaints. (There was this customer kasi who was really taking her time choosing the MP3s she want to load on her newly-bought fone. She even said, "Kahit abutin tayo ng buong hapon dito sa pagpili ng mga kanta, ok lang!" O kung sampalin ko kaya siya buong hapon?!) The repair cost me PhP600 - all for just a few minutes work!

When I went home, Biboy was waiting. He fixed the pc. Siya ang nakakaalam ng kiliti nu'n, eh. He hugged me and apologized for all the hurtful things he said. I did the same and we made up. As in, super made up! Hehehe. ;-)

So ngayon, si "kuya" na lang ang problema at ang mga alipores niya. Nag-text ang "alalay ni kuya" last night about our first pre-production meeting on Saturday. The truth is, we (Acy, Don, & I) are disappointed with "alalay ni kuya". She has been with us throughout the entire sessions - lunch and gimmicks. Then last Sunday, she made a 180 degrees turn and turned against us. Biglang kumapit kay "kuya" at sa "bodyguard ni kuya". At nagmamataray na ang lola sa text! Anyway, it's her choice.

Speaking of Saturday's meeting, Don & I are quite concern about it. I made it clear last weekend to the "Fantastic 3" (I am the 4th!) that I don't like the idea of having our pre-prod plans in "bahay ni kuya". It's his turf and it'd be hard for us to be ourselves. (Daming camera, eh!) Ang sabi ko, baka bigla na lang kaming birahin ni Don since "kuya's" main issue is with us. He feels that we have insulted his "story". Bastos daw kami. It was unethical of us daw to re-write his "story" the way we did. Kahit pa napuri kami ni Manay Gina with it, deadma siya! For him, we still butchered his "story"! Gusto na nga raw niya i-pull-out 'yung "story" niya. If he feels that way, he should've said so! The problem with him is that he acts like a spoiled child! He isn't open to suggestions even though he claims that he is. He acts like a producer who knows what he wants and gets it any way he can! The only thing he forgot is that he isn't producing this movie. We are not working for him. We are not his staff and crew. Pare-pareho kami ng level in the film. It just so happened that he was chosen to be the director. What does he want to happen? Be the writer and director of his own story/concept? Well, then, as Len said, "magtayo siya ng sariling niyang group! Group 5!"

As of the moment, Don and I decided to just stay mum about things. We'll just let him do whatever he wants. Our work is done. If he follows the script, fine. If he doesn't, fine, as well. But let assure him this, this behavior of his won't go unreported! If he wants to impress the big bosses, he better behave!