Hachi Ka Ba?

I needed a good cry today. The bad news I've received from an interviewee (for one of my class papers) who backed-out had tipped me over. For a while now, I've been experiencing some bouts of emotional pains, and I needed a release. T'was the best time to do so.

Enter Hachi: A Dog's Tale, the key to unlocking the flood gates of Angat dam! Based from a true story in Japan in the 1920s-30s, it is about an Akito dog named Hachi found by Parker Wilson (Richard Gere) at a train station. Immediately, they formed a strong bond that everyone who knows them has witnessed. During work days, Hachi would send Parker at the train station and goes back at exactly 5 PM to fetch him. When Parker didn't return home after suffering from a heart attack, Hachi waited for him. Parker dies, and Hachi waits at the station for ten years till its demise.

Sino ba naman ang di maapektuhan sa pelikulang ito? From the time Parker has died, di na ko natigil sa pag-iyak. Walang panama ang pinakawalang tubig ng Angat dam nu'ng Ondoy! I sobbed and sobbed until there's no more tears left. Truly a good release for me!

Whenever I hit a hump on the road, I always go back to what I considered as the saddest day of my life so far. I didn't realize it then, but it was such a terrible day when I lost the most important person in my life. Hindi man iyon ang eksaktong dahilan ng iniiyak ko kanina, yet parang 'yun pa rin ang tinutumbok niya kahit pa isang taon na ang nakalipas.

A friend from class, Chrissy, told me, "After you lick your wounds, relax." Ang sagot ko, "Dumudugo pa siya." Kapag nakakaranas ako ng kasawian, I couldn't think well. Hindi ako makapagplano nang maigi until ma-absorb ko ang kabiguang iyon. I guess the event that happened a year ago is something that I haven't fully gotten over. A deep wound needs a great deal of time to heal; like a broken bone in cast; like a heart that experienced a stroke.

Back then nu'ng andito pa siya, pakiramdam ko'y ako na ang pinakamaswerte at pinakamaligayang tao sa mundo. I couldn't ask for more. I may not have a good and stable career to speak of, I'm fine with it so long as he's there. Hindi importante ang mga materyal na bagay sa 'kin because I get by just by being with him.

When I lost him, I had to start all over again; pick myself up from the devastation. I had to struggle with the other things in my life; focus on other aspects.

When all else fails me, alam kong maaasahan ko siya. Hindi masakit tanggapin ang pagkabigo sa iba dahil alam kong may matatakbuhan akong di ako bibiguin. Pero pa'no ka nga ba makakabangon kung ang nag-iisang taong inasahan mo ang siyang bumigo sa 'yo?

Acy asks in my Facebook post, "Hachi ka ba? Ako, certified Hachi!"

Yes, I am. Until now I've been waiting for something... for someone. Something na magpaparamdam uli sa 'kin ng pagiging buo. Something na magbubuo muli sa nadurog kong pagkatao. Tao man siya o hindi.

Pero sana ay di ako maging katulad ni Hachi na naghintay sa kawalan, na naghintay hanggang sa kanyang kamatayan. That would be the saddest part of it all. In dog years it has waited for 70 years! Hindi ko 'ata kakayanin ang ganu'ng katagal na paghihintay.

Kaya kung ano o sino ka man, please, get here soon!