Tulog Na, Bi

Tonight's the first night
You're no longer in my arms
A little colder
Nothing but the darkness and the stars

My hand wanders through
The space where you used to be
I really wish that you'd
Still come home to me

Until then I'll sleep
Sleep.

Remember yesterday
When your smile filled every room
Imagined forever with you
Now you're gone too soon

I can feel you calling
There's no place that I'd rather be
Just here with you, sleeping
If only in my mind

Until then I'll sleep
Sleep.

I can feel you calling
There's no place that I'd rather be
Just here with you, sleeping
If only in my mind

Until then I'll sleep
Sleep.

It's official. You've finally left. You have boarded your flight at 8:30 PM and had turned off your phone while your plane leaves at 8:40 PM.

So what now? How many tears do we have shed until we can say that we have adjusted to our new situation: me being here and you being in the land of hobbits, elves, and orcs?

They say that you'd be there for just two years. But two years is a long time for people like us who have been inseparable since day 1 of five years now. Two years being away from each other is not something na nila-lang lang. But we gotta stay strong. We have to think of the long-term goal than the now. Until then, I wouldn't know what it takes to get use to the new situation.

I know that you need to be there. If I had to choose, I wouldn't allow you to do so. That is why I don't dare say it to you for I don't want you to feel burdened with what I feel. 'Cause I know that if you have it your way, as well, you'd stay.

We knew all along that this day would come. Your dream of working abroad is not something that was kept hidden. Pero s'ympre iba na when that time comes. No matter how much you prepare for it is nothing when you'd finally leave.

I am worried about you. I know that behind the brave man facade you show the people around you lies a scared little boy who knows nothing of the new world he'd be face with. Pa'no ka na sa mga panahong tinatamaan ka ng self-doubt at awa sa sarili? Pa'no ka na sa mga panahong sinusumpong ka ng kalungkutan? Sa mga panahong lumuluha ka, sino ang magpapahid nito?

Kaya ang hiling ko lang, take care of yourself. Mas mahirap ang lagay mo dahil mag-isa ka lang diyan. Hindi biro 'yun.

Ayokong sabihing "kaya mo 'yan" dahil ayokong kayanin mo. At least not by yourself. Andito ako, kami sa tuwing maghahanap ka ng makakusap o mabubuhusan ng kung ano pa man. Lagi mong tandaan ang madalas kong sabihin sa 'yo, "Hindi ka si Superman!"

We'd be sleeping alone now. Mahirap pero kakayanin. Malungkot pero titiisin. I know that you have dreams and ambitions to fulfill and I wouldn't want to stand in the way of any of them.

I miss you already.

Good night, Bi! I'll see you in my dreams. . .