What's the German Word For Dream?

Dr. Naehring (Max Von Sydow) asks Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio):

Did you know that the word trauma comes from the Greek for wound? Then what is the German word for dream? Traum. Wounds can create monsters in you. You are wounded, Marshall.

It was like saying, we dream (at times) because we are wounded.

Last week I dreamt about the ex three times. During the first day, I dreamt that my laptop was stolen. I was meeting a few friends to go over a film that we were about to do when I realized that I didn't have my laptop with me.

I got so worried and feared how my mom would feel about what happened. She was the one who gave me the laptop, and I know that she would get disappointed with me. I was not worried about the laptop nor its contents. I was more anxious about my mom's reaction.

I cried so hard. It was the ex whom I called first. I knew how much comfort I'd hear from him even though he would not be able to retrieve the laptop.

Mid-week he was crying; begging me to take him back. I embraced him so hard for I know that the situation between us was different. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.

Everything happened in a dream within a dream. I dreamt that I was dreaming about him coming back to me. I knew in the dream that it wasn't true. It was just an illusion; something I aspire to happen.

Last week we were making love. When we were done, I've learned that he didn't use any protection. I was distraught. I felt disrespected. He was with another man, yet he had the audacity to not be safe with me. I was afraid of its consequences knowing he has been intimate with other people. More so, I was afraid to be the third party in the relationship. The tables have turned. I was now the third person.

Waking up after having those dreams were weird to me. I am trying to move on with my life yet he haunts me every time he gets a chance. How would I escape him if in dreams he still gets to me?

I guess that the wound should completely heal first before the dream finally gets to rest...

Maybe I'll just dream of you tonight
And if into my dream you come and touch me once again
I'll just keep on dreaming
Till my heartaches end...

The Ishmael Bernal According to Vilma and Maricel

Boy Abunda, host of Inside the Cinema in Cinema One, interviewed Vilma Santos and Maricel Soriano in separate features. He asked them about their memorable experiences in working with the late Ishmael Bernal.

Ishma gave Vilma her first grand slam award via Relasyon. (It was also the very first grand slam award of any actor in the Philippines!) Their team-up was immediately followed by Broken Marriage.

She says that during one of the shoots, dumating siyang medyo high pa sa natamo niyang karangalan. She couldn't deliver her best in one of the scenes. Ishma immediately called her attention, "O, bakit parang kang lutang diyan? Porke't naka-grand slam ka, feeling mo, magaling ka na?!"

With such statement, bigla raw bumaba siya sa langit at tinuntong sa lupa ang mga paa. Na-realized niya na hindi nga dapat pumasok sa kanyang ulo ang mga award na napanalunan niya.

Minsan naman ay kinulong siya ni Ishma sa banyo dahil hindi siya makapag-react ng tama sa eksena. After one hour he comes back to her and asks kung OK na siya. Sa sobrang lungkot daw siguro ng pag-iisa sa banyo ay na-motivate niya ng husto ang sarili sa pag-arte ng tama.

With Maria naman, she relates the story when they worked together in Hinugot sa Langit. (They've already worked several times before the said film, but that was their first dramatic movie together.) She says that Ishma made her undergo acting training on his lead. Never pa raw niya ginawa iyon kaya medyo nanibago siya. He would sit with her and talk about scenes and how they should be attacked.

Dahil daw sa magalaw ang expressions ng kanyang mukha, hirap siyang pigilin ang mga ito. Nakasanayan na niya at hindi niya mabago ng madalian. Sa pagkairita sa kanya, Ishma yells to the whole team, "Walang kakausap sa babaeng iyan! Maupo ka riyan at mag-practice!"

Mangiyan-ngiyak daw siya sa mga sandaling iyon. Not only that she felt humiliated, but because for someone who's as talkative as her, mahirap na walang kumausap sa kanya at hindi siya magsalita.

Ishma then comes to her and asks her, "Anong oras ka tao?"

She laughs.

"Anong nakakatawa?"

The smile on her face dissolves. "Ah, wala po."

"Anong oras ka nga tao?"

"Ah, one o'clock po?"

"So, 'pag one o'clock, tao ka na? Makakaarte ka na?"

Tumango na lamang siya.

Isang beses din daw ay sinabi niya kay Ishma na hindi niya kayang umarte that day. Nilapitan siya nito at tinanong, "Ano bang gusto mo?!" Right there and then, natauhan siya. Instantly, acting mode na siya uli.

That was how Ishmael Bernal treated his actors. He wanted the best in them. Hindi siya biased sa stature nila sa showbiz o sa mga award na napanalunan nila. He treats them differently the way actors should treat their roles differently every time they would do a new movie.

The industry needs someone like Ishmael Bernal today! A director who would make his actors act according to what roles are needed in particular films. A director who would make the actors become the characters they portray. A director who would break a certain actor's type of acting to create a new one. A director who would reboot or reformat his actors when they continue to do the same thing or commit the same mistakes time and again. A director who would remind actors that acting on screen is very much different from acting on TV.

Asan ka na ngayon, direk Ishma? Sana ay nanatili ka sa piling namin ngayong kailangang-kailangan ka namin.

A Madonna Box From the US Plus One!

I just received a box today from the US from a Sharonian friend who promised me his Madonna CDs. Here it is! I didn't expect to see this many! Much so to have lots of rare items on it!

I was already happy with getting "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" CDS which he showed to me before. Sabi ko, solve na ko ru'n. Pero ang dami pa pala! Napa-OMG talaga ako. Kaya naman kahit nadenggoy (at nagpadenggoy) ako sa customs office re bill na dapat ko bayaran (tax raw), keri na sa 'kin. Sulit naman.

(Sinisingil ako ng PhP1205. I'm not sure kung sa'n galing ang computation pero binase nila sa shipping fee na nakalagay sa harap ng box. Kung willing daw ako, they can lower the price, but no receipt will be given. Kinagat ko na! Kalahati raw hanggang sa natawaran ko ng PhP500. Malaki pa rin considering na wala akong dapat bayaran. Ayoko na makipagtalo dahil baka di ko pa makuha 'yung package.)

Of course, di mawawala ang Sharon Cuneta CD na hiningi ko sa kanya which was a giveaway sa Seafood City Supermarket in the US entitled Sharon Cuneta: 14 Unforgettable Love Songs. Nang makita nga ni Mega ang CD na 'yun dati, napa-hay(!) na lang siya. She was not informed with such release.

Super thank you, ADG! Di ko na banggitin name mo, baka kasi ayaw mo, eh. Madadagdagan na naman ang mailalagay ko sa Madonna shrine ko. (Nawawalan na ko ng space! Waaahh!)

Cheers to you!







Speaking of the Megastar, I finally got a copy of this CD! Matagal-tagal ko ring hinintay ang kanyang pagdating. Ex-DWLS FM DJ, Jimmy Jam, found my post in a site recently and sold me his copy of his CD. Yehey!

Mukhang lasing si Mega sa picture that's why I prefer the cassette cover.

I bought it along with Forever soundtrack where the original version of Martin Nievera and Regine Velasquez's Forever is included, sung by Passage and another version by Aga Muhlack and Mikee Cojuangco. Isa pang fave ko sa album ay ang In Love With You Forever ni Mikee. Sa susunod, DVD naman nito ang bibilhin ko. VHS copy lang mayro'n ako kasi.

These two CDs are now out of print. LP na lang ng FBHO ang kakaririn ko!