Monday, April 19, 2010

What's the German Word For Dream?

Dr. Naehring (Max Von Sydow) asks Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio):

Did you know that the word trauma comes from the Greek for wound? Then what is the German word for dream? Traum. Wounds can create monsters in you. You are wounded, Marshall.


It was like saying, we dream (at times) because we are wounded.

Last week I dreamt about the ex three times. During the first day, I dreamt that my laptop was stolen. I was meeting a few friends to go over a film that we were about to do when I realized that I didn't have my laptop with me.

I got so worried and feared how my mom would feel about what happened. She was the one who gave me the laptop, and I know that she would get disappointed with me. I was not worried about the laptop nor its contents. I was more anxious about my mom's reaction.

I cried so hard. It was the ex whom I called first. I knew how much comfort I'd hear from him even though he would not be able to retrieve the laptop.

Mid-week he was crying; begging me to take him back. I embraced him so hard for I know that the situation between us was different. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.

Everything happened in a dream within a dream. I dreamt that I was dreaming about him coming back to me. I knew in the dream that it wasn't true. It was just an illusion; something I aspire to happen.

Last week we were making love. When we were done, I've learned that he didn't use any protection. I was distraught. I felt disrespected. He was with another man, yet he had the audacity to not be safe with me. I was afraid of its consequences knowing he has been intimate with other people. More so, I was afraid to be the third party in the relationship. The tables have turned. I was now the third person.

Waking up after having those dreams were weird to me. I am trying to move on with my life yet he haunts me every time he gets a chance. How would I escape him if in dreams he still gets to me?

I guess that the wound should completely heal first before the dream finally gets to rest...

Maybe I'll just dream of you tonight
And if into my dream you come and touch me once again
I'll just keep on dreaming
Till my heartaches end...

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