Of Dreams, Laundry, and Disappointments

I haven't been writing much here. It's not that I didn't have time because I have been posting some stuffs in two of my other blogs: the one from Friendster and the one with movie reviews. It's just that when I try to write about the things I feel personally, I couldn't continue with it. I guess, there are so many things that are going through my mind that putting them into writing isn't possible. Anyway, I'll try as much as I could to just let it out since it's been bothering me for quite some time now.

To start with, what are the things that I have been doing lately? Well, I've been watching a lot of movies. As you'd see in my movie reviews blog, I have reviewing lots of films. You could say that it was my way of venting out my frustrations. Music and movies are the ones that relieve me of the emotions bottled up inside. I hope, though, that this writing (the movie reviews) would lead me to one of careers that I have been aspiring to have. A few weeks ago, I've sent two of my reviews to a magazine and asked them whether I'd be good enough to make reviews for their mag. Luckily, I've receive a response from the editor a few days ago saying that they might consider getting my services for some films that they want to preview. He asked for my number and said he'd be keeping in touch in case that time comes. Of course, no promises were guaranteed. It was such a relief receiving that mail. It was quite an ego boost although I feel that I am not as good as those who were writing for the magazine. I feel that my vocabularies are inadequate. Anyway, I am not really putting all my faith in it. Not hearing from GMA-7 was enough disappointment already for me. I don't think that I could handle another one in case this writing won't push through. Yes, it was GMA-7 that didn't call back after I learned that I passed their exams.

One thing that gives a kick out of me is doing laundry. Yes, as in washing my clothes. It was funny that one of the lines in "Il Mare" was "When you feel sad, do the laundry." I never thought of it that way but I guess, it was somehow true. Just taking the dirt out of your clothes and knowing that you clean them well give you a sense of achievement. I'm really a "laundry person". I guess, being an Aquarian makes me comfortable in doing things that require water. As oppose to ironing the clothes. I can't stand that! The heat just makes me irritable. So as to say that this super hot temperature that we're having these days just pumps out my blood like a whistling kettle! I swear, I could've popped a vein or two just because I became too hot-headed often times!

As I said earlier, writing is one of the "careers" that I am aspiring to have. The other one being a businessman. Since high school, I have dreamed of putting up my own video shop. But back then, we do not have the means to put up one. "We" means my family and I. When we finally did, we just couldn't pursue it. Till I just push it aside at the back of mind. Now that it came back (and is haunting me with sleepless nights and so many ideas about it) and mom is willingly supporting me all the way, I couldn't find a better and affordable place to put it. There are good spaces for rent, yes, but they are either not a good location or too expensive for me to rent: the best place costs PhP15k a month! I'm trying not to lose hope but I can't help it. So many questions have been going through my mind: Should we really put up a video shop? If we do, should it be our own or would it better to just franchise a Video City? Should we opt to put up something else than that? Should we really profit from it given the current economic situation? Do these obstacles are God's way of saying not to go through with it? As Side A once sung in a TV ad, "So many questions but the answers are so few". However, I know that in time, things would work out. I just hope that it'd be coming soon because frankly, I'm losing patience...