Twist of Fate

I have been busy the last couple of months with the workshop and teaching classes. I swear, nagrereklamo na si Than-than because he hasn't been seeing me lately. "Kailangan pa bang magpa-schedule sa secretary mo?" he once jokingly commented. I guess, he was just not used to me being this busy since I was so "available" the last few years. My weekdays are mostly devoted to school while my weekends are for the workshop until such a time that we'd finish shooting the short film. This is really such hard work, not to mention the emotinal baggages attached to them. Not that I'm complaining. I have asked for this. I needed change. I want some direction in life. But sometimes, fate has a way of playing its dirty tricks on you. When it does, there's no escaping it...

As you may know by now, I have wanted to enroll in the workshop since last year. Only that all the slots were filled in. When I learned that there'd be an enrollment for the second batch this year, I made sure that I'd get in. I went to GMA as early as I could. I was the 15th enrollee and I got in! I was ecstatic and excited because I want to learn more about the business. I want to BE part of the business.

Before the workshop started, I applied as a college professor in my HS alma mater. I felt confident enough that I'd get the job yet there was something in me that's saying that I may not get it, especially when I haven't heard from them for about a month. Because of that, I thought to myself that the job may not be for me after all. God must've other plans for me -- must be work in THE business after the workshop. But when the school called a few days past June, there was a certain relief and doubt on my part. What could that mean? There I was being positive about the whole showbiz thingy when suddenly, teaching calls. Anyway, I took the job. I need a steady income since video orders come and go. I took it as a gift. The future is getting clear now that I have a job and so does Biboy who left Medical City a few days back. He got a high-paying job as a nurse agent in Medicall.

The workshop was doing well, too. I've new friends and I'm learning a lot about movie making. When we were grouped into four, I was happy to have Acy around since she was my very first friend there. All went well until "he" became part of the group. My instincts told me there was something not right about it and I prove it everytime we go into groups. From then on, my spirits went down. It was a situation that I couldn't get my hands on. I told Acy about it and I was glad that she has been feeling the same way about it. At least I have someone to share my thoughts about it. Till we learned that Don has the same feelings. Anyway, to cut the story short, it wasn't good. We are at the point of our workshop lives now that we couldn't care less anymore. We have tried to do and say something about our situation yet they fell on deaf ears. All our energies were used up that we tend to not fight back anymore. We see no point in fighting a losing war. To add insult to the injury, we learned that the person we admired the most in the workshop is not admirable at all.

As if the workshop situation is not enough, I learned that my salary in school is not what I have expected. I knew that it won't level up to my previous salaries because I was just working "part-time" (weekday mornings only) but I didn't expect that it'd be that low. How low? Let's just say I couldn't raise a family with it! Sa akin pa lang, kulang na kulang na! Actually, most of us in school didn't expect such. Kaya nga during the first pay day, nilunod namin ang aming sarili sa kaunting beer at pagkanta sa Encore, Encore.

Pampalubag-loob sa school na meron pang adjustment 'yun sa next pay day. When I got my next pay slip, pucha! Mas mababa sa una! T'was really depressing. Never have I received such amount for work. Malayong-malayo sa mga naging sweldo ko dati. Napaisip tuloy ako. Is it time that I find myself a new job before the semester ends? Or should I continue with it?

I am not really into high-paying jobs. Ever since I worked, it didn't become a leverage for me in accepting the job. As long as I like what I do, it won't matter. But then, when it is this low, it will matter! I have new priorities now. I'm working to pay my debts and to save up for Angel's schooling next year. At the rate I am going today, I don't think I could afford to do both.

Apart from what was mentioned, everything is pretty good in school -- environment, company, students, rules. I own my time except for my given schedule. I can do whatever I want in class. I can make my own exams. Students are easy to deal with. The company I keep is fun. Besides, I feel that somehow it is my "territory" since I graduated there. The problem I had with the last school I was with was everything except the students and the pay. If this is my first job, I wouldn't mind the set back. But as I've said, I've different priorities now. However, I won't be force in applying for a certain job just because of its high-pay. My principles don't go that way.

My spirits have been damaged. My problem is, once I lose my appetite for something, it's difficult to bounce back...