Kakaibang Ada

Isang taon na mula ngayon, si Tuxqs Rutaquio aka Ada ang mapalad na nilalang na sumusubo at lumulunok araw-araw at gabi-gabi ng pagkalaki-laking batong nagmula pa sa malikot (at kung minsa'y pagkahalay-halay) na imahinasyon ni Carlo Vergara. Siya ang nagbigyan ng pagkakataon na isalba ang sambayanang Pilipino sa pagkalugmok sa kalungkutan at pagkabalisa kahit man lamang sa kaunting sandali. Nagagawa niya ang pagka-bayaning ito sa pamamagitan ng pagsasavaklah e este sa pamamagitan ng katauhan ni Zaturnnah. Inihagis niya, isinabog, at ikinalat pa sa madla ang tabletang ZZZ na sinimulang gawin ng lumikha nito. Ito ang naging dahilan ng pagka-adik ng mas maraming tao rito.

Ngunit kaiba ang gabi ng Enero 28, 2007...

Mala-vaklah man e este bayani man ang katauhan ay isa pa rin siyang nilalang. Isang tao lamang na ang natatanging kasalanan ay kanyang pagiging tao -- marupok at may angking kahinaan. Kahit pa ang nagmamahal ng lihim at nagpapakabayaning si Dodong ay di siya kayang isalba sa napipinto niyang kapahamakan.

Nang gabing iyon, nawalan ng boses si Tuxqs...

Marahil sa kalakihan ng bato ay nagasgas ang kanyang ngala-ngala. Marahil sa palagiang paggamit niya ng mikropono [(no) pun intended] ay pinarusahan siya ng langit. Marahil sa mala-diyosa niyang tinig (na bumighani kay Dodong) ay kinainggitan siya ng mga diyosa. Marahil tulad ni Ariel, ibinenta niya ang kanyang tinig kay Ursula ng gabing iyon upang ipagpalit ang kanyang buntot para sa talaba e este paa. Ngunit ano man ang maging dahilan, ang natatanging tanong ay kung sino ang nilalang na papalit sa kanyang puwesto sa huling gabi ng pagtatanghal. Isang utaw na sing-galing at sing-tapang ng sikmura na suungin ang mga taong naghahanap ng kaligayan sa gabing iyon.

Dalawang oras bago ang nakatakdang pagtitipon, walang ibang pagpipilian kundi ang taong nagbigay ng letra at musiko kay Tuxqs...

Enter Vince de Jesus!


Ay naloka na ng tuluyan ang mga adik at sabog sa ZZZ nang magsimulang pumilantik ang mga daliri ni Mamu Vince! Ito ay kasabay ng kanyang pagkataranta dalawang oras bago mag-alas-otso hanggang sa pagkakataong iyon. Nangarag ang beauty ng lola mo sa harap ng entablado. He became at a lost for words, literally! (Josko, ikaw kaya magkabisado ng dalawang oras lang! Tingnan ko lang kung hindi sumabog ang gray matter mo sa labas ng ulo mo!) Pero ganun pa man, carry'ng-carry ni mamu ang gabi! Siya ay naging victoria! Winner! Tagumpay! Kabugera ang lola, eh! Kaiba ang kanyang lebel kina Tuxqs at Rustom. Hindi na magiging kataka-taka kung sa mga susunod na gabi ng Hunyo ay siya ang magsusuot ng korona paminsan-minsan. Ang tarush!

Ang pagkakaganap ni mamu ay hindi maaaring ihambing sa unang dalawang Ada. Iba ang atake niya rito. Kakatuwa at kakatawa! Tulad ng aking nabanggit sa kanya, simple malandyi ang kanyang Ada. Aayaw-ayaw kay Dodong ngunit kung makangiti naman ay waring sinusundot ang puwitan! Kung kiligin ay kala mo'y babaeng nagdadalaga. If Tuxqs is A, Rustom is B, then Vince is C. Sana naging malinaw ang aking analogy.

There were many firsts that night aside from mamu's performance. Sa wakas at sa unang pagkakataon, napanood na namin si Arnold Reyes bilang Dodong! In fairnez, delicious talaga! Kakinis! Ka-sexy! Lean but meaty. Yum! Yum, everchu talaga!

Dina B. was not Wilma Doesnt that night but t'was Wenah. Performance was ok naman pero malaki ang kanyang boses sa pag-awit. Bagay na bagay talaga kay Wilma ang pagkabasag ng mga salamin habang siya ay umaawit. Ang original na Nora A. ay napalitan sa ikalawang bahagi ng pagtatanghal. Sumama ang pakiramdam niya. The sudden change was unnoticeable because the two actresses both fit Nora A. to a T.

Lastly, kaganda ni Ms. Eula V.! She gained some weight na mas ikinaseksi pa niya. Talaga namang magaling, magaling! Magaling na ako e este si Eula pala. (Si Mama talaga, oo! Painumin ko siya uli ng Neozep nang matigil!)

Anyway, 5th run will be on June at RCBC Theater. Watch ever na naman kami for sure!

P.S. 1. According to my correspondence with Tuxqs, nakadagdag sa pagod niya, maliban sa three-day performances every week, ay ang pag-eensayo niya with the new Dodong (Janvier Daily) several times during the week. Hmmm... Kantahan ever lang ba 'yun, lola Tuxqs? Hehehe...

2. I will post our pictures as soon as I get the camera from my sis. Plus, 2 video clips from the show!

Note: The last two music came from the first CD release of the play. Remastered version is now available in stores and through download at Digijooze.

English 101: English Ba Kamo?

Found this in a blog of a fellow Pinoy DVD'er. Thought that it'd be a good way to practice my pronunciation. I had to consult the dictionary several times for some of the words. This is harder than the tongue twisters we had in class recently!

A little anecdote though: "Multinational personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud."

So try them yourself. Let's see how you would do...


The Chaos (1922)
G. Nolst Trenité
Dearest creature in creation,
Studying English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say - said, pay - paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sleeve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

So how did you do? Mind you, the poem above is just the short version. Check out the unabridged version! If you want more, go here. Let's see if you'd stay sane afterwards!

Coolness! (Movie Reviews)

Eragon (20th Century Fox, 2006)
Ed Speleers, Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich, Rachel Weisz
Stefen Fangmeier
Rating: 3/5

Wouldn't it be cool to have a dragon as a pet, friend, and companion? Eragon, Book One of the Inheritance Trilogy, is just about that - dragons and their dragon riders. Written by Christopher Paolini when he was 15 years old, Eragon is a childhood fantasy come to life via the book and the film. However, maybe because he is at a young age, the story lacks depth, maturity, and enough grip to make a lasting impression. It is mostly a kid's movie but that is not to say that it can't be enjoyed by adults. It is enjoyable and entertaining. However, one needs to remember that it isn't The Lord of the Rings.


Night at the Museum (20th Century Fox, 2006)
Ben Stiller
Shawn Levy
Rating: 4/5

How cool is it to have your toys come to life? Remember The Indian in the Cupboard back in 1995? It is about a toy indian which comes into life when put inside a magical cupboard. How about Small Soldiers in 1998? These are toy soldiers coming into life because of a military chip. I enjoyed it so much that I have collected some action figures of them. This 2006 brings Night at the Museum. It is way cooler than the said two films because toys are not the only ones that come to life but all creations in the museum - from fossils to stuffed animals to prehistoric humans to historical wax figures! Imagine what you could learn from these creatures and how much fun you can get from them! That is so cool, isn't it?

Night at the Museum is a fun-filled ride that would leave you wanting for more! Now, if only I could get my hands on that tablet!

Blood Diamond (Warner Bros., 2006)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Connelly, Djimon Hounsou
Edward Zwick
Rating: 3.5/5

I do not know much about the history of blood diamonds but somehow, this movie sheds light on it. It isn't the best storytelling because it drags every now and then. But it has a great ensemble of actors that makes up for what it lacks. Leonardo DiCaprio, who already showed great talent when he was still young, shines his brightest in this movie. The lines on his face adds more dimension and exquisiteness in his acting. With his Oscar nomination, he'd rightfully gained the respect that he deserves as an actor. Cool!

This is his follow-up to his another cool performance in another cool film with an ensemble of really cool actors called The Departed (one of 2006's best)!

P.S. Jennifer Connelly looks a lot like Madonna in here! Now, if only Maddie could act like Jen...

Saw 3 (Lions Gate Film, 2006)
Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith
Darren Lynn Bousman
Rating: 4/5

Jigsaw is back! This time, he's more focused and more twisted as ever! This is such a great way to end the trilogy. It is better than the sequel which, in my book, should have never been done. It is a teen-slasher flick wannabe. The plot is better and grittier. It makes one hell of a nail-biting thriller that is more gruelling than the first and grosser than Hostel, another fave thriller of mine. Hold on to your seats and wait till you get to know what Jigsaw truly plans to happen. It will rip out your senses once it ends!

But no matter how cool it may sound, no one has the right to teach people lessons in life the way he does!

Biboy asked me why do I love watching these kinds of movies? I don't know. I just do! :-)

The Descent (Lions Gate Films, 2005)
Shauna MacDonald, Natalie Mendoza
Neil Marshall
Rating: 4/5

Six women went on an unknown cave for an adventure. What they didn't know was that they'd get more than what they expect. Aside from the almost near-death experience they got from finding their way out, they met these unknown creatures that would end their lives if they do not stay together and fight till the end.

The Descent starts out slow during the first half. However, it was able established the characters well enough for the audience to care about them when the thrills pick up during its second half. Even though the characters are all women, the film avoided the stereotypical characteristics. They don't whine or cry or shout their lungs out the moment they encounter difficulties. They stayed focused and strong till the end. If ever one breaks out, it is called for by the situation or their characterization.

Aside from that, the film was able to capture the claustrophobic feel of the cave. It would make you feel as if you were there. Not to mention how terribly creeping the crawlers are!

The Descent is a cool chick film that kicks ass! Girl power indeed! Can't wait for the next installment!

P.S. Natalie Mendoza is Pinoy! Can anything be cooler than that!

She's the Man (Dreamworks, 2006)
Amanda Bynes, Tatum Channing
Andy Fickman
Rating: 2.5/5

Viola pretends to be her twin brother, Sebastian, to play for the soccer team in the rival school of her school where she's supposed to be at. She gets accepted, and gets to befriend the team's captain who happens to be his room mate, Duke. As Sebastian, Viola meets Olivia who falls in love with her - as Sebastian. Duke, who likes Olivia, asks her, as Sebastian, to set him up with Olivua. She willingly obliged until she realizes that she's in love with Duke after she, as Viola, and he kissed in the carnival.

Sounds complicated? Actually not. A girl pretending to be guy and falling in love with a guy as a guy is a plot that has been done with over and over again. She's the Man has nothing much to offer in terms of how fresh it tackles the used plot. The scenes weren't as funny as one would expect.

Loosely based on Shakepeare's Twelfth Night, She's the Man's best bet is the hottie Tatum Channing! He's this year's new his hottieness till the next stud comes along! Yum yum!

Kairita!

I am absent today in school. Di ko feel pumasok because I'm sorta not feeling well na rin. Yesterday was quite a terrible day. I haven't had much sleep since we came in late the night before. We (Biboy and I and some of my good friends) saw Sharon's b-day concert in Araneta. I was late for school (about 15 minutes, my time is 8:30 AM). When I arrived, imagine my shock when I only saw five students inside the room! According to them, the others are still outside doing whatever it is they are doing.

So s'ympre wait lang ako patiently. 9 AM passed and no sight of the others yet. Until 9:15 AM, unti-unti nang nagdatingan ang mga mokong! Quiet lang ako. Pikon na ko, eh. Pag pasok nila, others greeted me good morning. I stood up and wrote an exercise on the board for them to do. Quiet pa rin ako. Until the last few arrived at mega-daldal ang ginawa as if they did nothing wrong! After I wrote the exercise, I added, "Work on it QUIETLY!!!" Kaya ayun, natahimik na rin ang mga hinayupak.

Nawindang sila sa exercise! Some were asking what to do pero deadma ako. I didn't want to speak kasi baka kung ano pa ang masabi ko sila. Nagpupuyos na ang damdamin ko sa kaloob-looban ko!

Five minutes before ten, after I took their papers, di ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Talagang sinabon ko na sila! I told them that they are the only ones who did what they did to me. Kung sa pakapalan din lang ng mukha, they won by default! With flying colors pa!

I wouldn't mind it if only a few of them were late but it was 95% of the class! Then, papasok sila sa room, walked casually as if what they did was no big deal. Dadaanan-daanan lang ako at mag-iingay sa loob ng class. Aba aba aba! Di ko mapapalampas 'yun.

When I got to my other class, medyo nag-iinit pa ko. Buti na lang at matino 'yung klase na 'yun. I have asked them to check the papers that we were supposed to check in my previous class. Pinagbigyan naman nila ako. That few minutes of checking (and not thinking so much) had calmed my nerves down.

I thought that the earlier incident was the end of it. Mas matindi pa pala 'yung huli kong klase! Late na nagdismiss 'yung teacher nila -- 12:30 PM na ko nakapasok when our time is 12 PM. Then inabutan kong hindi sila kumpleto. Anyway, continue pa rin ako. We have checked their Prelim exams. Ang matindi ay nang dumating ang iba -- they stood outside the room contemplating on whether to go inside or not, decided not for whatever reason, then walked around the campus! Wow! Winner talaga ang mga lolo!

Pagkatapos naming mag-check, I saw the boys outside the room. Napasigaw na ko talaga! "Papasok ba kayo o hindi?! Kanina pa kayo, ah!" I swear, habang sinesermunan ko sila, ilang beses ko na silang minura sa isip ko! Napagsalitaan ko na sila ng hindi magaganda. At tagalog kung tagalog ang monologue ko! Nung umaga, nakakapag-ingles pa ko, eh.

I have reiterated to them several times how bad their grades are with me. Judging from the results of the exams, half of them will fail my subject. Tapos may ganang pa silang magpa-bondying-bondying?! Well, pasensyahan na lang kung hindi sila magtitino. Bagsak kung bagsak ang gagawin ko sa kanila. (I was lenient with my grades last semester. Pinasa ko 'yung ilan kahit hindi deserving pumasa.) I even told them na hindi ko malubos maisip kung bakit sila pumasa ng English 1 (I wasn't their teacher last sem)!

It wasn't my intention to humiliate them. I just want them to know their class standing and this isn't the time to take things lightly. Hindi nila sineseryoso 'yung subject ko. I wouldn't mind it if they don't pay much attention in class or they're absent most of the time, as long as they have something to offer during recitation, exercises, quizzes, and exams. Kaso hindi. Kung mag-aasta akala mo alam na nila lahat.

Because of that, s'ympre napunta na sa kanila ang korona ng kakapalan ng mukha from the other class. Mas matindi sila! But mind you, iisang course lang 'yung pinanggalingan ng dalawang class na 'yun.

I've told them, kung ayaw nila sa akin o nahihirapan sila, lipat na lang ako sa klaseng gusto ako maging teacher at sa kanila na 'yung teacher n'un.

I went home very tired and so hungry. I haven't had any food eversince I woke up. It was already past 2 PM. Pag uwi ko, wala pang lutong pagkain! Ay, winner talaga! Muntik na kong mapaiyak.

Nampucha!

I have so many pending posts these past few months especially movie reviews na hindi ko matapos-tapos. Tamad na tamad akong magsulat nung una pero sandamakmak ang nasa utak ko. Pag nakaharap na ko sa PC, nawawala sila na parang bula. Then, when I felt like writing naman, my PC crashed down for the nth time! Deadma na kong ipaayos siya kahit pa marami na kaming pinagdaanan. (Ilang beses na rin siyang naging mitsa ng pag-aaway namin ni Biboy!) I've realized that on our first day (that was in 1999), problematic na ang relasyon namin. Umpisa pa lang, nagkatopak na siya! (That is what you get usually when you buy an assembled PC instead of buying parts and assembling them - on your own or through the technician.) Pwede ko namang gamitin ang laptop ng dad ko pero di ko masyadong feel mag-type dun. After I used it for my Mo's entry below, it crashed down. 'Yun naman ay may problema na rin. It was sent to the technician for repair. After a day or two, my sis's PC naman ang nasira! Kaloka talaga, I swear! Isa-isang bumigay ang mga computer sa bahay! Conspiracy ba ito?!?

Anyway, I bought a new PC - with a 17" LCD monitor, 160gb Sata hard disk, 512mb memory, at kung anik-anik pang hi-tech specs (courtesy of my mom - thanks!). Ang ganda niya, grabe! Sarap nang mag-download! Sa laki ba naman ng hard disk ko (with additional old 40gb hard drive), in heaven na talaga ko! Malaking disk space talaga ang pinakaimportante sa 'kin, the rest are secondary.

Ngayong masarap nang magsulat, naknamweteng naman ang DSL connection! Di ko maaruk ang kabagalan! Nubanaman ito?! Kalokang talaga! So 'yung mga pending posts ay mananatiling pending muna. Di ko carry ang kabagalang ito!

By the way, Happy New Year to all! c",)