"Jheck, wala na si tatay, " were the words I received from Elma last April 10. Although it was expected since her father has been gravely ill these past few months, you couldn't help but be shock when that moment of passing came. When I read that message, I know that anytime soon tears would be falling down my face. I feel for Elma. She has been through a lot in her life and this death would leave a huge scar in her throbbing heart. Pwede na nga sigurong gawing tele-serye ang buhay niya sa dami ng pinagdaanan niya!
"Wala na ang tatay ni Elma," was the message I've sent to Than-than. I swear, I almost burst into tears writing those words. But I didn't. Something was keeping me from doing so. All I know that time is that we needed to get to Elma to give our support to her, whether the body is already at their house or not.
April 17, 2 PM was the funeral march. We walked for about 45 mins-1 hr till we reach the cemetery. Seeing Elma cry and her family broke my heart. That was the time when Iwasn't able to control myself and cried, as well. Than-than kept himself from doing so so he left with a heavy heart.
The experience truly made an impact to me not only because Elma is my best friend but also because it was the first death of an immediate family member in the barkada. We've dealt with relationships and broken hearts, first jobs and unemployment, weddings and children, and now we're dealing with death. Ngayon, ang mga usapan ay nauuwi na sa mga bagay-bagay na dinadaing ng mga magulang namin, o maski sakit na dinaranas ng kapwa namin kaibigan, like Memong's diabetes.
At night, I watched "Sex and the City Season 4" episode entitled "My Motherboard, My Self" again where Miranda's mother passed away. It always makes me cry. Kung noon, nadadala lamang ako sa episode na 'yun, now I could relate to it even better. Ilang beses ko mang ulit-ulitin ang panonood nun, iiyak at iiyak pa rin ako ng paulit-ulit.
I wish, though, that once I'd be put in the same situation where I'll lose a family member, I'd be given a warning or time to "prepare". God forbids, sudden loss would really tear me up inside. And of course, I hope that I'd get all the support I'd need because I wouldn't be able to go through it alone...
