Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Sex and the Law

I was in a trivia chat room when we (along with some other trivia freaks) encountered some peculiar laws on sex in the US. These laws are so outta this world that you'd actually think they are made up or are just jokes. But they are not. They are true and they exist! In fact, US has the most laws (particularly in sex) than all European countries combined!

Here are excerpts and beside each one are my comments:

1. In Bakersfield, California, anyone having intercourse with Satan must use a condom.
-- What I wonder though is, how does Satan look like? And how big is his dick?! He'd probably have the biggest! You know, knowing how fragile his ego could be...

2. In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
-- Who'd go hunting or fishing on their wedding day, anyway?

3. In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.
-- This is a shocker! How could someone have sexual intercourse with a fish when fish themselves can't do it?!

4. No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
-- I'd request that, as well! It's common sense! Americans must be so stupid that law makers had to make a law regarding it!

5. Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.
-- Hey, they're in bed, for chrissakes! It's uncomfortable sleeping in a stained sheet, much so wet with beer!

6. Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.
-- So have sex in full clothing?! Does that include not taking out any genital parts?

7. In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make
love on the floor between the beds!
-- To avoid making noise, I suppose!

8. The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
-- Awww... Cleanliness is next to Godliness!

9. An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
-- Imagine the sweat and the sexual juices combining with the meat! Eeow!

10. A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
-- And this is because...?

11. In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.
-- For what reason, may I ask?

12. In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
-- Besides, who still wear corsets in this day and age?!

13. It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
-- Awww... Courtesy is chivalry!

14. A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
-- Why can't they just ban dancing on a table in the first place? Period!

15. Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered species, excepting insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows or exhibits depicting cross-species sex.
-- Do we really need to see how animals mate?! Pervs!

16. Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
-- Do it in the back!

17. In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
-- Yeah, be discreet about it!

18. Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio - a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
-- Wear leather panties, as well!

19. No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
-- The question is, who is the woman in the ambulance? The patient? The nurse? Or just a bystander picked up? Hmmm...

20. It is illegal for any member of the Nevada Legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.
-- What is a penis costume?!

21. Cats and dogs must have a permit to have sex in Ventura County, CA. Fairbanks, AK, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
-- There goes the animal rights! Even they should follow the law!

22. Sexual positions other than missionary-style are illegal in Washington D.C.
-- I won't ever have sex in Washington! Capital Boring! (What could sex be without these positions? Click only if you're at the right age, pls!)


23. It's illegal for a man to curse while having sex with his wife in Willowdale, OR.
-- So no dirty talk for her!


24. In Harrisburg, PA, sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth is illegal.
-- Oh my! The toll booth lady must really be good to juggle two demanding jobs at the same time!

25. Kingsville, TX, has a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
-- Babe should be warn about this!

26. Washington state has a law against having sex with a virgin... even on her/his wedding night.
-- So when can they do it? No wonder that virgins in Washington are non-existent!

27. It's illegal to masturbate while watching two people having sex in a car in Clinton, OK.
-- OK... Perv!

28. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
-- OMG! Chastity must be a word taken out of their dictionary!

29. In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
-- There shouldn't be any interruptions during orgasm!

30. In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
-- Quite fair, isn't it?

31. In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
-- Because...?

32. An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club".
-- Good thing that Diana Zubiri didn't pose on her bathing suit in Kentucky!

33. The following important amendment however is to be considered here: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to male horses."
-- Because they can't distract the traffic?! How biased! And male horses on a bathing suit????!!!

34. In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
-- Huh?!

Sources:
Strange US Sex Laws
Sex & The Law
Weird Sex Laws


So you think that you had enough? Let's go around the world this time!

1. Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."
-- Thou shalt not eat the one you had sex with!

2. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
-- I sensed discrimination against gays...

3. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
-- Hmmm... Why not make this a universal law?

4. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
-- With a brick?! Good thing that it's dead! Ouch!

5. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
-- Oh my! I must've been decapitated a million times in Indonesia!

6. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)
-- I sensed discrimation against women...

7. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
-- Talked about a traumatic first time, eh?

8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
-- And yet it is legal to not do it at the same time?!

Source: Bizarre Sex Laws

Oh boy, oh boy! Am I lucky to be living in the Philippines or what?! *wink wink*

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