A Tweet I Relate To

His tweets are too depressing for me and are almost at the brink of suicide most of the time, but this one I can relate to:

RT @rayamartin why i don't bother to make new friends, why my friends are scattered elsewhere in the world, why this feeling of getting old.

I miss my friends these days. I wish I could visit the old times where we would just hang-out our house and watch movies for hours. Back in high school, my friends would drop by unannounced just so they could watch a movie; acting as if our house was some sort of a movie house. I didn't mind though. I enjoyed having them around. Gusto kong iniestima sila. They knew that somehow I'd have the latest movie on hand or at least some movie they haven't seen before. But times have changed. Each of them has their own video players and (latest) movies can easily be found anywhere.

Maybe it's the age. Or maybe I'm just too lazy to make an effort. Nevertheless, I find it difficult making friends nowadays. 'Yung pagkakaroon ng kaibigan sa tunay nitong pakahulugan. I'm not comfortable calling newly-acquainted people friends because I give much value to the word. Ang pagiging magkaibigan ay sinusubok ng panahon. People don't become friends with a few talks and several gimmicks. It would take an ample amount of time before they could actually bond with one another. Heck, even long-time bonded friends can fall apart, what more are those you just met recently?

You know who your true friends are if they have stayed with you through ages. I only keep a few close friends at bay that I met since elementary. And'yan pa rin naman sila, but a lot has changed since each one started having families of their own. Nag-iba na ang priorities. Naging busy na sa kanya-kanyang buhay. Ang iba naman ay nasa abroad na.

The latest close friend of mine who left was Than-than. He works now in Singapore. Since we're both single, kami ang madalas na magkasama sa gimikan nitong mga nakaraang taon. Kami ang madalas na magkwentuhan ng mga hinanakit namin sa buhay at nagpapalitan ng kuro-kuro sa mga naging panandaliang relasyon namin. We have both broken-up from good relationships, and I feel that we both are still trying to mend our hearts. Somehow, it's good to know na di kami mag-isa sa pinagdadaanan namin at and'yan kami sa isa't-isa para aliwin ang aming mga sarili just by being together.

But he left. At mag-isa na uli ako. Pakiramdam ko ay laging lumilisan ang mga taong malalapit sa 'kin at wala akong magawa para pigilan sila. I'd lose them to a husband, a work, or to "someone else".

I know that no matter what happens, we'd remain friends. Pero minsan, gusto mo na and'yan lang sila sa tabi mo, sinasamahan ka sa pinagdaaraanan mo kahit pa hindi ka nagsasalita. Sila ang mga taong kahit di mo pagbuhusan ng sama ng loob, makasama mo lang, ay OK na...