The Big Q

Acy and I had an interesting conversation yesterday when she and I met. We were supposed to see Batang Westside at UPFI but ended watching Pulse in SM North Edsa. After the movie, she talked about this sort-of love of her life. Her Billy. Her Iñaki. Her Ben. Her childhood sweetheart. Her soulmate. They have mutual feelings for each other since school days. The only thing that stopped them from being a couple was the fact that one of them (or both) is in a relationship with another whenever they want to pursue their relationship further. Anyway, to cut the long story relationship, she opened the guy's email with his knowledge. There she discovered her Ben was into Noel all along! Of course, shocked ang lola mo! She has gay friends who are into relationships so it isn't new to her anymore. However, this one is different. Very much unexpected. Never did she have any hint or doubt about his friend's sexuality before. Nawindang talaga siya when she knew about it.

She told their barkada about it. One of the questions that popped (since most of them were straight guys) was:

Sino ang babae sa kanila?

I'd often hear that question from straight people when they learned someone they know are into that kind of relationship. I was not asked of it personally. But in case I would be, there's a simple answer to that:

It depends on what type of m2m relationship it is.

If the relationship is consist of an effeminate or transexual (or transvestite) gay and a straight (or masculine) guy (gay), then it is safe to assume that the girly gay would be the "woman" in the relationship. However, if both guys are masculine-looking or non-effeminate, it'd be different. Either one may or may not assume any gender roles.

But should we really need to assume who's-who in a relationship? In this day and age, should we still adhere to gender roles when any of the couple could do acts that were mostly gender-oriented before? I read an interview of Ruby Rodriguez in the latest issue of S Magazine. She said that it is her who mostly do the electrical problems while her husband cooks. In that case, could we say that Ruby is the man and her hubby is the woman? Not, right?

So I guess that there is no need to ask what roles people assume in a relationship. It doesn't matter who wear the pants or the skirt because these days, a man or a woman could wear anything he or she wants. A man could even put on make-up without people calling him a girl.

Speaking of which, guys (whether straight or not so) these days are really into vanity. During my days in school, never have I heard my straight guy classmates asking for powder. You'd never see them put it on public either in case they'd wanted to put some on their faces. But today, it is not a big thing to them. They'd put powder on their faces after class along with the girls. They'd even know how to do it properly!

No wonder that it's difficult to tell these days who's straight and not so straight...

P.S. Mas ikinawindang ni Acy when I told her that I was seeing her guy's picture in IRC chatrooms! Hay! Girl, just remember, you and he are not really meant to be a couple. At least, mas pretty ka pa rin sa jowaer niya! *wink wink*