The Itch

I received one of the most exciting messages today. It was from a good friend, Joy, who was reminding me to mark November 25 on my calendar. She and Francis are getting married! Finally(!) was the word that came out of mind. They have been a couple for about 10-12 years now. Every time we see each other, the topic of marriage would often come up. "No plans yet," would be their usual answer.

Of course, we, her friends, wouldn't want to push them into something that they are not ready for. But we don't want their relationship to go waste either. I mean, 10 years plus is a big deal and there are only two things to go from there: get married or break it off. S'ympre naman we don't want the latter to happen. Since most in the group are having their mini-me's, gusto naman naming makita ang sa kanila.

Meanwhile, rewind to a few days ago, my sister told me through SMS that she and her boyfriend are no longer together. Just like Joy and Francis, my sister and her ex had been together for almost 10 years. They were HS sweethearts, so to speak. Just a few months back, my sister was already expressing her desires to get married and have kids of their own. Only that she needs (and promised the family) to finish her medicine courses first before plunging into the married life. Now, a part of her plans has changed differently and unexpectedly. I know that she's going through an uphill battle and all I could do was pray for her well-being. It is sad because I thought that she and her ex were a perfect couple - both did good in school, both into medicine field (her ex is a medical technologist which our mom is), both soft-spoken, etc. However, what transpired recently just goes to show that they are not perfect for each other after all.

That is the kind of news that Biboy are wary of. Whenever he hears couples from long-year relationships break up, it tears his heart. Not just because he feels bad for the couples and the years they spent together but because he gets to think that if it could happen to them, it could happen to us, as well. He'd always have this idea on his mind that if there's a chance of us being together till death, there's also a chance that our relationship could end any time. I guess that you could call it a defense on his part. He gets to think of the worst event that might happen in his life to either pre-empt it or prepare it. I do that some times. But I always have an instinctive feel whenever I know that something is about to end in my life. I haven't felt that in our relationship even if we fight, argue, or threaten a cool-off. Besides, the fear of losing each other is so strong in us that we know that we'd get through the rough times no matter what.

I'm thinking, though, could there really be a what we call 7-year itch? That couples need to pass through to determine whether they would last a lifetime or not? Would years of being together be a guarantee of staying together till the end? Not, right?

I have these students of mine who have been bf-gf for just two months yet they are so sure of each other. They are just 17 and the girl is already thinking of converting to being an Iglesia just so her bf's family would accept and like her. Is it being sweet or just plain stupid? Is it romantic or just being dumb? I'd say foolish but to them it's not. It is something that they are considering just so they could make their relationship work out.

That is what relationships is all about: comprises and sacrifices. Years of togetherness are no guarantee for long-lasting shelf life but as long as you are willing to give in and take in what you could, for sure you'd stay together. It's being selfish by being unselfish. You do the things needed to be done so that you can have what you desire till the end. But once "I" comes in, definitely, the relationship is bound to fail...