Page Turner

The moment I started reading Pop's tell-all interview in the October issue of Yes! Magazine regarding her separation with Martin, I couldn't put it down. It was already past 3 AM then, but I felt that finishing it is better than sleeping that time. With every page, the details get juicier. It is like a movie unfolding before your eyes. Aside from that, nag-flashback sa utak ko ang mga naging past experiences ko with a cheater. Feeling ko tuloy, tell-all ko 'yun, eh.
I was never a Pops' admirer. When she and Martin separated, like with the rest of the Pinoys, my sympathies went with him. Siya 'yung nagsalita kasi. Siya 'yung paulit-ulit na humingi ng tawad. Siya 'yung umako ng responsilidad. Of course, that is such an honorable thing to do for a man. Kaya naman his career zoomed up from then on.
Meanwhile, Pops kept her silence throughout the ordeal. Usually, when couples separate, no matter who's to blame with it, it is the woman who gets the attention. It is the woman whom people feel for. In this case, Pops became the bad guy. By not saying her piece, speculations about the separation that led to the divorce seemed true: she was at fault. However, with this 16-page interview, all the mysteries have unraveled. The tables have turned. All eyes become focused on her. Siya pala ang inaapakan. Siya pala ang pinagmukhang tanga.
More than anything else, for the person who has been betrayed (especially several times), maliit na bagay lang 'yung affair. It is what the affair stands for on your partner and on yourself. It is a question of self-esteem and self-worth. Bakit nagka-affair? Is it my fault? Am I not enough? Ano ang mayro'n siya na wala ako? Ano ang mga naging pagkakamali ko? Did he/she ever love me? If so, why did he/she hurt me? Sometimes, when you love the person too much, you blame the affair on yourself. You tend to look down on yourself rather than the one who made the "mistake." Ang pinakamasakit ay 'yung di na mabubuo pa ang nasira mong tiwala sa sarili. Lagi na siyang nasa likod ng isipan mo; isang anino. There will always be self-doubt. Lagi ka niyang hahabulin in your moments of sadness or self-questioning. Sa mga tunay na nagmamahal, malaking dagok iyun sa iyong pagkatao.
'Yun ang dapat maintindihan ni Martin who seems to be showing his true self lately. Pops was seen in a bad light regarding their past relationship for several years now so it's time naman na ihaon niya ang imahe niya sa publiko. Besides, napakinabangan na naman ni Martin ng husto 'yung hiwalayan. Bait-baitan siya kaya naman nakuha niya ang amor ng publiko. It just goes to prove that karma has its way of getting back at you, maybe not immediately, but in the years to come.
To Pops, I have a newly-found respect for you. . .