Crossing Over

Francis Cruz, a film critic, in his tribute post to Alexis Tioseco, mentioned how Alexis had once teased him about crossing over to the other side -- i.e. filmmaking. He continued that once a critic had crossed-over, he may never be objective anymore in his film analysis. He would developed sympathy to the filmmakers for he would know the painstaking ways on how to create a film. Of course, that would be bad. Critics should always be objective, and should never be inclined to put his biases in his work. Since we are human and prone to judgment error, biases do happen at times.

Anyway, I have crossed-over ever since I started my workshop in GMA and moved on to Star Cinema. That was why, if you have noticed, naging madalang 'yung pag-review ko ng Pinoy movies the past few years. Naging malambot na kasi ako sa pagtira, if I may say so.

Una, I didn't want to offend anyone from the workplace. Nag-alala nga ako nu'ng biharin ko ang Moments of Love before my GMA stint and learned that one of our mentors in the workshop was the writer of the film. Ayoko namang mabansagang nagmamarunong. (Sa mga fans pa nga lang, nagkaru'n na ng uproar sa post ko na 'yun! Kaya I felt the need to write another post.) Second, you get to learn how a film was made and gets to know what happened along the way. Minsan kapag nalaman mo kung saan nagkamali ang filmmakers, you tend to be forgiving and understanding. Third, you get to be friends with the people involved in the film. Once it happens, wala nang taluhan kung minsan. Kung hindi mo nagustuhan ang ginawa ng isang kaibigan, quiet ka na lang. O kaya ay 'wag mo na lang isulat.

One reason why I was in limbo the past few months was that, in my mind, I was still trying to understand what he did and why he did it. I was rationalizing for his behaviors, even during through the course of our relationship. Gets ko siya, I'd tell myself. But from an outsider's point of view, they'd tell me na niloko niya ko, and I really had to let go. Sa isip ko pangloloko ngang maituturing ang nangyari, but I still get to justify it. Kasi ito ang need niya. Kasi ito ang dapat niyang punan.

Kakahanap ko ng excuse sa nangyari, I have overlooked what I was doing to myself. Kakabigay ko pala ng dahilan sa kanya, sarili ko lang ang sinaktan ko, ang pinabayaan ko.

Joseph Estrada, in his Probe Profiles interview, was asked by Che-che Lazaro if his wife, Loi, ever gets hurt with his philandering ways. He answered, "Kaya nga ako nag-asawa ng psychologist, eh. Para maintindihan ako." That was me. No doubt about it.

However, no matter what the circumstances are, the end does not justify the means. Sa paggawa ng pelikula o kung ano mang trabaho, it doesn't matter what the makers went through in making it. What matters is the by-product. Pulido ba? Maayos ba? Worthy bang parangalang? Sa pag-critic, one should always bear that in mind. It is the work that matters and not the process. A critic is not interested in the drama behind it (as what Rajo Laurel always say in Project Runway Philippines when contestants start to make excuses for their bad designs).

In relationships ang pangloloko ay pangloloko. Walang dahilan na pwedeng mag-justify sa pananakit ng iba. Whether the other party is to be blame for the decline of the relationship, the moral thing to do is end the relationship immediately.

Just like in Alexis's and his gf's death, the criminals had no excuse to do so, kahit pa sabihing gipit na gipit sila. Kapit sa patalim, 'ika nga. Di pa ba sapat na ninakawan na nila sila? (Although may theory na baka may kinalaman ito sa pagiging kritiko ni Alexis, lalo na sa recent National Artist scandal.)

In life there are things that should always be seen in black and white, no grays in between. 'Pag maganda, maganda! 'Pag pangit, pangit! No excuses. If one can't be objective about it, he should excuse himself then from making judgments.