Nostalgia Trip

I had a pending post about nostalgia. I wrote it last night as I finished watching Top Gun, but left it for a while. I just had to write something so I could have some head start. However, incidentally today, I had encountered a Facebook post that seemed to have spoken to me. Kung noon, in trying times, you suddenly receive a text quote that seemed to be aware of what you were going through, ngayon naman ay Facebook or Twitter posts. The quote says:

Nostalgia is denial... denial of the painful present. The name for this denial is golden age thinking, the erroneous notion that a different time period is better than the one one's living in. It's a flaw in the romantic imagination of those people who find it difficult to cope.

Immediately, it felt like it was written for me. Inisip ko pa nga kung original ba ang statements na 'yun made by the poser. But it wasn't. It was a quote from a Woody Allen film called Midnight in Paris which I haven't seen (and will soon see).

I've told Gino, a friend, about it. Aware of my latest heart disaster, he suggested that I may have wanted to back to my last semester's experience. But I don't. In fact, my last semester experience is one of the reasons that had prompted me to go into this nostalgia trip that kept me away from the present time/reality.

Gino adds another quote from Mad Men which sums up what nostalgia is about:

Teddy told me that in Greek, "nostalgia" literally means "the pain from an old wound." It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship, it's a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards... it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It's not called the wheel, it's called the carousel. It let us travel the way a child travels - around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved.

What makes nostalgia more powerful than memory is its emotive affinity.

Gino further says, "Tagos sa 'yo 'yan, Jek. Iyong-iyo talaga. Tinaub ka ng quote."

Tarantado 'tong si Gino, ah! Ang sarap kurutin sa bayag!

Once, during k'wentuhan mode with MA classmates, nasabi ko na "regressing" towards the past gives us security. Most often than not, ang natatandaan natin sa nakaraan ay 'yung mga masasayang alaala. Once healed, we tend to forget the hardships that we went through. Besides, even with such hardships, we knew that we had surpassed them so we still feel safe with them. With bruises and all, we survived it!

When I get confronted with things I couldn't handle immediately, I tend to cave in to a safer world. I'd sleep for days until I get the answer I needed or occupy my mind with activities unrelated to the situation I am facing--movies, music, blogging, etc.

Recently, my nostalgia trip brought me back to the music of my youth where the songs were diverse and rich. May kanta para sa hilig ng bawa't isa--ballad, dance, rap, banda, novelty--at hindi lahat ng singers ay iisa ang timbre ang boses. It was a time when an acoustic song was just an alternate version of a fully orchestrated song. The lyrics were poetic at malaman ang sinasabi.

I developed a compulsion to buy original OPM CDs from the '80s and ripped them to 320 kbps. When I was done with it, I downloaded '80s music ripped to 320 kbps. Hindi lang 'yun. I had to put the exact album (or single) covers where the songs came from or else, I wouldn't be happy with it or be satisfied. It kept me busy for a while and away from the stressful situation. But I knew that once I get tired of it, I will eventually go back home--to the future. One can't keep living in the past if he wants to see the future.

Dahil pa rin kay Gino at sa tanong niya kung ano ang theme song ng Top Gun, I watched the film again. I saw it in 1986, and it made a big impression on me. It and Dead Poets Society were two films that made me appreciate Hollywood movies. Masang-masa kasi ang panlasa ko noon.

I didn't care about the action of the film. I was into the romance and the drama of it and TOM CRUISE! Nainlab ako sa mokong! Ang cute-cute naman kasi! Tapos ilalabas pa ang kanyang boy-next-door smile! Sino ba naman ang di mahuhulog sa kanya? He was my man until he went cuckoo with Katie. Bye-bye, Tom, na ang drama!

Top Gun then made an impact on me, the same way it did this 2011.

Tom's character, Maverick, seems to be arrogant and so full of himself. But it is only on the surface. Deep inside, he wants to prove himself to the world that he is better than his father. He puts on a tough facade to hide what he truly feels inside. However, his commander is on to him. He says, "You have a confidence problem, Maverick." It is at the time when his best friend died, and he decides to quit the force because he couldn't deal with it.

I am Maverick.

I receive a somewhat good news about my Sharon Cuneta paper. It is eligible to be published in Plaridel, a UP mass communication magazine, so long that it passes the requirements after revisions have been made. The comments given are of extreme quality. May sobrang nakakagaan sa pakiramdam at may sobrang nakapanglulumo talaga.

A friend tells me to be happy more than feel bad about it. "'Wag ka ngang masukista," he says.

I agree with him. Still, I couldn't help asking myself kung bobo ba ko para di malaman ang ibang mga naging simpleng comment ng reviewer ba minsan ay spelling problem lang o pagbabaybay? (The paper is written in Filipino na akala ko ay bihasa na ko. Hindi rin pala.) Deserving nga ba talaga ang naisulat ko for publication or pangpalubag-loob lang since may potential naman daw? Alam ko namang hindi ko alam ang lahat at para rin sa ikabubuti ng research ko ang mga nasabi nila. Pero hindi ko pa rin maaalis sa sarili ko ang masaktan at pagdudahan ang sarili. I knew that I had to go through all these stages so that I'd be ready and armed to deal with it.

Maverick faces his demons. He chooses to graduate and tests his skills in battle than quit.

I choose the same. The nostalgia trip is over and done with. (For the meantime at least. Until I see the need to go on a trip again.) I sent my long-overdue response of acknowledgement to Plaridel and am hoping for a favorable response regarding the deadline. In case it is unfavorable, I only have myself to blame and the trip I made this semester.

Aside from that, last semester's heartache is over! I have moved on. The LMC fantasy has ended. Actually, matagal na akong aware sa pantasya. Pinatagal ko lang siya at pilit na nagpakalunod sa kilig na ako lamang ang gumagawa. Masarap man sa pakiramdam ang kilig, nakakaumay rin sa katagalan lalo na't mag-isa ka lang na gumagawa nito.

So ayun! Hello, world na muli!

Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe

I like Lindsay. But these pics didn't do anything for me the way Rica Peralejo did for me when I saw Hibla. Na-impressed ako sa twins ni Rica na lalong pang pinaganda ng mga kuha ni Yam Laranas! Parang ang sarap bumalik sa pagkasanggol at mag-breastfeed!

Sabi nga ng friend ko about the film: "Pinagjakulan ko nga 'yun nu'ng high school!" Pero di naman ako umabot du'n. Di ko naman pinangarap na mag-ober da bakod.

Wish ko lang na sana ay maayos ni Lindsay ang buhay niya at maging better version of herself tulad nang pagbabalik ni Britney Spears o ni Drew Barrymore. Drew incidentally recently won an Emmy for her performance in Grey Gardens. Umangat sanang muli si Lindsay.

More pictures here: Lovecat

Be Careful and Sensitive on What You Post

I am taking Media 280 this semester which is about Conflict-Sensitive Journalism. It teaches us to be sensitive and careful about the things we write and their implications. One's writing could be read differently if one isn't too careful.

Look at this post about AIDS: Is HIV Common in Manila?

The post is talking about AIDS in Manila, yet suddenly seques to Sydney. One reader couldn't help asked if he was talking about the AIDS situation in Manila or in Sydney. Of course, I understand that it isn't a professional and researched write-up. The blogger was merely expressing his thoughts. But what has bothered me more is the use of RJ Rosales's picture for his post. What is he trying to imply with such use of his picture?

RJ recently passed away due to unspecified reasons. With that, people normally speculated that could've died of (complications of) AIDS. But they were just speculations at tsismi-tsismisan ng ating mga kapatid na nagkakape sa Starbucks. Nothing is confirmed. However, in case RJ did die of AIDS, so what? We shouldn't be quick to judge the person.

So, is the post trying to imply that RJ has died of AIDS given that he was in Sydney at the time of his demise?

As what the late Ate Luds used to say, "Careful, careful!"


Photo source: Be careful where you eat a corndog

The Parallel Lives of Insiang and Isla

Read post here

Cathy Garcia Molina's Forever and a Day (2011)

Read post here.

Reposting: Zombie

Originally posted on April 12, 2010.

It took a while before I finally decided to upload the final film in Facebook. I've had a few friends asking me to show them the film, but I just told them that I'd upload it soon. My hesitation stems from how personal this work is--not just because I'd literally shed tears in doing this project, but because it is a personal story. I was protective of it like any Hollywood movie stars protective of their newly-born babies from the paparazzi or the way Pia Magalona is to Francis M's last recordings.

Sino ba naman ang gugustuhing pulaan ang kanilang trabaho ng kung sinu-sino lang? No matter how bad it turned out to be, baby ko pa rin siya. I wouldn't just let anyone say anything bad against it. (Pero kung pangit man siya sa standards ko pa lang, hindi na ko magkakalakas pa ng loob na ipakita siya sa iba.)

Ayoko rin namang makatanggap ng sobra-sobrang papuri from people who feel obliged to do so just because we're related or we're friends. Hindi rin naman ako mapapanatag sa ganu'n. I want some objectivity and not biases.

If I sound too critical of what others might think about my film, it is because I am critical about it myself. I have wanted to do a film of my own, and I didn't want to screw it up kahit pa sabihing I have a huge margin of error since it's my first time.

Fortunately, when I showed the rough draft to my professor, nagustuhan na niya. When it was finally shown at mag.net Katipunan on March 25, 2010 and was judged by Auraeus Solito (of Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros), he liked it, saying that it could already be sent to gay and lesbian film festivals abroad. My professor added na mataas daw ang grades na nakuha ko.

Nakahinga na ako ng maluwag nang marinig ko 'yun. Sobrang pinaghirapan ko ito, and I'm very much proud of it!

Yet, at the back of my mind was the question, what now? What is the next step for me?

I don't know actually. But I'm hoping that this could be the start of something good!

Anyway, before you watch the film, here's a few guidelines Sabi nila, let the audience interpret the film for themselves. However, gusto ko pa rin ibigay ang mga bagay na ito dahil pelikula ko ito!

WARNING: Some scenes and theme may offend the sensibilities of some viewers. Watch it with caution (or not at all).

Synopsis:
Zombies walk amongst us. Tonight a zombie stares at his current flame as he reminisces happier days with his dead lover.

He dresses up in white with black linings in front of a broken mirror. After which he leaves the house and joins the land the living as other zombies often do.

* This is purely a visual medium, so everything you see on screen has a purpose.

* Lahat ng prop ay may sinasabi tungkol sa kuwento ng pelikula.

* Ang mga piniling kulay ay may dahilan. Maging ang texture ng kurtina at bed sheet ay may sinasabi. Maging ang suot ng karakter ay may kuwento.

* Ang basag na salamin ay hindi isang basag na salamin lamang. May kinalaman ito sa taong nakatingin dito.

* May palabas sa portable DVD player. Hindi nga lamang siya nakita masyado. But it is a BURIAL SCENE from the movie Nakapagapos na Puso.

* The scene with the DVDs, books, and cassette tape say a lot with what had transpired between the past and the present. Read the texts.

* Take note of the album ENDLESS LOVE by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie.

* May konting boo-boo sa bandang huli. Matapos pagtawanan, 'wag na pansinin. Wala na kong magagawa sa katangahan kong iyon. 'Yung nilalaman na lang ng eksena ang bigyang-pansin. Hehehe.

Ito rin ang isa sa naging puna ni Auraeus when he saw it. Other than that, OK sa kanya ang buong pelikula.

* There could be quite a few interpretations to the film's message. If you have your own, feel free to post a comment. I'd love to hear them.

* I am truly a Sharonian! Napakaraming Sharon references sa movie na ito. Hindi ko kinakahiya 'yon! :)

So, enjoy!

Shooting Zombie

Zombie: Behind the Scenes

This was written on March 26, 2010. I posted it online, but decided to keep it hidden later on. Now it's back online! I don't see the need to not post it. I made some notes, though, so I wouldn't forget some details.

"Jheck David is finally done with editing and sound design! Nakakaiyak..." was my status last night. Ivy asked why--'yung story raw ba o 'yung pag-e-edit.

Lahat-lahat ay nakakaiyak. I really didn't have an actual moment of break down during the production of my short film, Zombie, but I was almost in the brink of tears. I came to the point of asking whether tama ba ang path na pinu-pursue ko or I just need to stick with what I do best. (Pero ano nga ba ang bagay na I do best?) Was I just fooling myself into thinking na may mararating ako sa film or was I just doubting myself?

Story-wise, makailang ulit din ako nagpalit. I thought that I already have a story in mind the first time until ma-realized ko na hindi naman gaanong cooperative 'yung gusto kong maging part ng film. Ayoko namang mag-demand ng husto sa time niya since "tulong" lang naman talaga 'yung gagawin niya sa 'kin. (It was a story inspired by a colleague from Star Cinema. There was an emotional dance involved in it.)

I changed my storyline and felt that I was already set on my concept. Only that feeling ko na may kulang pa. Na kailangan ng tweaking. Hindi ko lang malaman kung sa'ng parte itu-tweak.

I had my zombie world set-up na, pero di pa maayos. Medyo sabog pa. Instead of too many zombie stories, I focused myself on one--on my lead. It worked for me. Maski sa production design (used as plot) ay nag-work din. Solb na ko!

Location. Hindi pumayag 'yung unang hinihingan ko ng pabor. Hindi niya man kinunsider at least for a while 'yung idea on using his place. Basta ayaw niya. I was quite upset about it, pero natanggap ko rin. Sabagay di naman ako ganu'ng ka-close sa kanya para isiping pagbibigyan niya ko. (He is a dancer who happens to know the guy who was the inspiration of the first SL I had which I mentioned earlier. That latter guy is a dancer, too.)

Anyway, I asked my best friend her place. She immediately agreed. Ewan ko ba kung bakit nagtanong muna ako sa iba kaysa sa kanya. Ayoko lang kasing i-hassle siya with the shoot o maobliga siyang pumayag dahil best friends kami. Pero bakit ka nga naman titingin sa malayo kung mayro'n namang mga taong nasa malapit at handang tumulong anytime?

The day before the shoot, wala akong makuhang actors! Ilang tao rin ang pinagtanungan ko at hiningan ng contacts, pero wala. With the "demands" of the story, mahirap makakuha ng artistang papayag with a minimal pay. Hindi ko naman pwede pang taasan ang talent fee dahil kapos na kapos din ako. Bukod pa ru'n, four minutes lang ang film. Hindi required na super galing umarte. Basta willing to show skin and do gay scenes. Muntik na nga akong mag-resort sa mga CBs, pero maging sila ay maaarte rin.

Nagtanong ako sa taong iniiwasan ko kung may kilala siyang pwedeng gumanap para sa film ko. (Hindi naman niya alam na iniiwasan ko siya actually.) Kasubuan na. Nagbakasakali ako. Ayun! Nakahanap siya. Ang laking pasasalamat ko sa kanya. If not for him, maaantala ako ng husto, and I was already pressed for time. (Iniwasan ko siya dahil may writing job ako sa kanya na hindi ko tinapos. As it turned out, hindi na rin pala siya nagtatrabaho sa producer namin na isa ring artista at direktor na may asawang aktres/host. May anak silang kambal.)

Shoot went well sa tulong din ng mga kaibigang tunay. Inabot man kami ng dilim sa labas ng bahay, keri na. Maganda rin naman lumabas sa camera 'yung night effect. Ang nagpatagal lang kasi sa 'min ay ang zombie make-up. Hindi ko in-expect na ganu'n siya kagatal ilagay. It took almost 2 hours to finish. Isang tao lang ito! Na-imagine ko na if I had a bunch of zombies, it will take us the whole day to put make-ups on them! Or, I need more than 2 make-up artists!

Editing. Sobrang kinatakutan ko siya. Hindi ako marunong. I only know how to use Windows Media Maker. Ang gusto ko sana ay fancier editing software. I thought of hiring an editor. Gusto kong maganda ang kalabasan ng film dahil kulang ang tiwala ko sa mga kuha ko. Editing ang sagot para magkaru'n ito ng style o mapaayos ang kuwento.

Pero panibagong gastos ang editor! Wala na kong budget for it. Claudine suggested that I should try editing the film myself. Iga-guide niya ako sa Adobe Premiere. I tried pero pakiramdam ko na I don't have much time learning Adobe. Kakainin nito masyado ang oras ko. I opted to use WMM kahit hindi masyadong stylized. Na-enjoy ko naman siya. Maganda ang kinalabasan. When I showed it to my professor, nagustuhan niya ang pagkaka-edit ko at ang kinalabasan ng film.

Scoring. Isa ito sa kinatakutan ko pa. Nu'ng una pinroblema ko ang music. Saan ako kukuha ng original music? Isa sa nahingan ko ng kanta ay isa sa mga naging estudyante ko sa Northfield. Grade 1 lang sila nu'n when I handled them. 3rd year high school na sila ngayon. Fortunately, di naman niya ko binigo. Binigyan niya ako ng 3 original compositions para sa film. Only that when my prof learned about it, sabi niya na di pwede ang music! It has to be sound design.

Shet!

Nakakaloka talaga. Lagi na lang may bump on the road whenever I thought that things are starting to go smoothly. Pa'no ako magde-design ng sound? I can't use much of my live sound since may mga instructions ako while we were filming. Wala rin naman akong editing sound software that could filter sound well.

Nag-search ako ng sound effects sa net at luckily, may mga nahanap naman ako na bagay sa film. Pero hayup! Hindi mailapat using WMM! Ni-reformat ko na nga ang PC ko para maiwasan na 'yung freezing na ginagawa ng WMM, pero sa sound naman siya nag-alburuto.

I searched for codecs that WMM might need to put sound pero wa epek. Dati naman ay tumatanggap siya ng sound. Hindi ko alam ang problema niya this time.

Lo and behold! A few days ago, bigla siyang gumana! Parang sinubukan lang ang pasensya ko talaga.

When I was done sound designing, halos maiyak ako sa tuwa! Hindi ko akalaing magagawa ko ng mag-isa ang post-production using WMM. Kinabahan kasi ako since 'yung mga classmates ko, may alam na sa editing. Magaganda 'yung previous works nila. Ako, super bagito! Pinaka-thunder sa kanila, pero pinaka-bagets re film technicalities.

Bigla kong nasabi sa sarili ko, "Shet! Ang ganda!"

Yesterday a few hours before the screening, nagka-problem ako with the volume. Using .wmv, malakas ang sound niya. I had to tone it down several times dahil ayokong lunurin sa sound ang film. Kailangang maramdaman ang lungkot throughout the entire film.

After feeling that sound volume is OK na, I made an .avi copy that I'd use to convert it to DVD.

Shet! Ang hina ng sound.

I made several tweaking sa sound only to learned that once I convert it to DVD, super lakas ang lumabas! So I had to go back to my original files and tweak the sound and made an .avi copy again to turn it into DVD.

Sa sobrang tagal, inabot na ko ng 4PM! 6PM ang screening ng class namin sa mag:net Katipunan. Nakaalis ako ng bahay ng 4:45PM. Nakakuha ako ng taxi ng almost 5:30PM.

Sa sobrang kaba ko na late kami darating sa place, di ko na masyado nakausap si Acy sa taxi. Pero ayun, past 6 kami dumating at di pa nag-i-start. May plano talaga si God, sabi ko. Hindi Niya ko pinasakay ng taxi kaagad kasi alam Niyang di naman magsisimula on time talaga. Tamang oras lang ang pagdating ko.

Happy na nga ako at andu'n si Acy at si Gino. For a while inakalang wala akong magiging bisita that night. Hindi pwede ang ibang mga kaibigan ko that night. Salamat na lang sa dalawa at hindi ako nag-isa.

(It was truly a memorable event because Auraeus Solito, who was one of the critiques that night, commended the film. Buo raw ang kuwento at punong-puno ng emosyon. Pwede na raw isali sa mga gay film competitions abroad.)

That Goddamn Soul Mate Episode!

"I know have you, guys, but... And really, I hate myself a little for saying this, but... it felt really sad not to have a man in my life who cares about me. No special guy to wish me happy birthday. No goddamn soul mate. And I don't even know if I believe in soul mates,"
- Carrie, "Sex and the City" (Season 4, Episode 1)

I cried over this episode in 2001. 10 years after, I still bawl myself over it...

The Ramblings of an Eight-Year Old Girl Who Cries as She Misses Her Father

"Alam mo ba, 'da, na tuwing nakikita ko si Kuya Biboy, naiiyak ako? Miss na miss ko na siya. Bakit ba kasi kailangan niyang magtrabaho sa New Zealand? Marami namang trabaho dito sa Pilipinas, ah. Nasaan ba siya pag kailangan ko siya? Bakit ba 'pag miss na miss mo na ang isang tao, wala sila? Pero 'pag di mo sila nami-miss, and'yan lang sila? Naaalala ko nu'n nang umupo ako sa pader, sabi niya, 'wag akong uupo du'n kasi madumi. Naaalala ko nu'n na 'pag sinabi kong nami-miss ko siya, pumupunta siya ka'gad dito. Tabi-tabi pa tayong matulog. Miss na miss ko na siya, da. Siguro may iba na siyang mahal du'n. Siguro may asawa na siya tapos magkakakaanak sila tapos makakalimutan na niya ko. Ayoko siyang magkaanak kasi ayokong makalimutan n'ya ko. Sabi n'ya nu'n, babalik siya ng March 2011, pero hindi naman siya bumalik. Wala siya nu'ng graduation ko. Wala siya nu'ng nanalo ako ng Spelling Bee. Siguro nga hindi na siya babalik. Miss mo na ba siya, 'da? Di ba, close friends kayo? Sana hindi na n'ya tayo iniwan. Parang tatay ko na siya..." - Angel

Sometimes, in between Angel's outpouring of emotions, hindi ko alam kung siya ba ang nagsasalita o ako. Tumatango na lang ako sa mga sinasabi niya. Hindi ko rin naman alam ang isasagot sa mga tanong niya.

A Tweet I Relate To

His tweets are too depressing for me and are almost at the brink of suicide most of the time, but this one I can relate to:

RT @rayamartin why i don't bother to make new friends, why my friends are scattered elsewhere in the world, why this feeling of getting old.

I miss my friends these days. I wish I could visit the old times where we would just hang-out our house and watch movies for hours. Back in high school, my friends would drop by unannounced just so they could watch a movie; acting as if our house was some sort of a movie house. I didn't mind though. I enjoyed having them around. Gusto kong iniestima sila. They knew that somehow I'd have the latest movie on hand or at least some movie they haven't seen before. But times have changed. Each of them has their own video players and (latest) movies can easily be found anywhere.

Maybe it's the age. Or maybe I'm just too lazy to make an effort. Nevertheless, I find it difficult making friends nowadays. 'Yung pagkakaroon ng kaibigan sa tunay nitong pakahulugan. I'm not comfortable calling newly-acquainted people friends because I give much value to the word. Ang pagiging magkaibigan ay sinusubok ng panahon. People don't become friends with a few talks and several gimmicks. It would take an ample amount of time before they could actually bond with one another. Heck, even long-time bonded friends can fall apart, what more are those you just met recently?

You know who your true friends are if they have stayed with you through ages. I only keep a few close friends at bay that I met since elementary. And'yan pa rin naman sila, but a lot has changed since each one started having families of their own. Nag-iba na ang priorities. Naging busy na sa kanya-kanyang buhay. Ang iba naman ay nasa abroad na.

The latest close friend of mine who left was Than-than. He works now in Singapore. Since we're both single, kami ang madalas na magkasama sa gimikan nitong mga nakaraang taon. Kami ang madalas na magkwentuhan ng mga hinanakit namin sa buhay at nagpapalitan ng kuro-kuro sa mga naging panandaliang relasyon namin. We have both broken-up from good relationships, and I feel that we both are still trying to mend our hearts. Somehow, it's good to know na di kami mag-isa sa pinagdadaanan namin at and'yan kami sa isa't-isa para aliwin ang aming mga sarili just by being together.

But he left. At mag-isa na uli ako. Pakiramdam ko ay laging lumilisan ang mga taong malalapit sa 'kin at wala akong magawa para pigilan sila. I'd lose them to a husband, a work, or to "someone else".

I know that no matter what happens, we'd remain friends. Pero minsan, gusto mo na and'yan lang sila sa tabi mo, sinasamahan ka sa pinagdaaraanan mo kahit pa hindi ka nagsasalita. Sila ang mga taong kahit di mo pagbuhusan ng sama ng loob, makasama mo lang, ay OK na...

Ask Sharon

In 2006, while I was undergoing my training in Star Cinema, my mentor told me to write some questions that I would want to ask a celebrity. S'ympre, si Mega ang pinili ko. The questions were part of the character development I was doing for my script. I should know my characters well the way I want to know Mega.

If given the chance, I'd ask Mega these questions. Though, of course, since medyo too personal ang iba, baka ipabasa ko na lang sa kanya and leave it up to her if she'd answer them or not, i.e. if I would not take them out altogether.

Mahaba-haba ito, so 'pag nagkataon, kung itatanong ko ang mga ito, baka abutin kami ng 48 hours! Sa daldal ni Mega, di ka makakakuha ng one-liner na sagot sa kanya, for sure. Given that this was written in 2006, I would rephrase some questions and add new ones. So baka mas humaba!

So eto siya. Almost 5 years later, ipo-post ko online...

1. When did you know that you are just your father’s “other family?”
2. How did you take it?
3. Are you acquainted with the other family?
4. How many families are there?
5. Who is your closest sibling aside from your brother Chet? Why?
6. What is your fondest childhood memory?
7. Where did you go to school?

8. When did you start working in show biz? Who discovered you?
9. How was it in school when you started singing? How did your classmates/teachers treat you?
10. What did you want to become while in school?
11. How much was your first talent fee? How did you spend it?
12. Did you feel that you will stay long in the biz?
13. Were there any disagreements within your family in going to show biz?
14. Some people thought that show biz was baduy, how did you take it? Did you experience “discrimination” of some sort?

15. Why do you think "Mr. DJ: became a massive hit?
16. What is your memorable experience in recording your first song “Tawag ng Pag-ibig?” How about "Mr. DJ"?
17. Give your Top 5 favorite songs of yours. Why?
18. What are your Top 3 favorite albums?
19. Your album Sshhh. . . is one of my favorite albums. How was it recording it? Any memorable experience?
20. What is your favorite and least favorite album? Why?
21. The other album I love is For Broken Hearts Only. Could you share any stories that surround that album? Was it sort of dedicated to Gabby?

22. How did you and Albert Martinez start going out? Why didn’t the relationship last?
23. What is the best thing you remember about Albert?
24. When you worked with him in Nang Iniwan Mo Ako, did you reminisce about the old times?

25. How did Rowell come into the picture? Why did you break-up?

26. How did Gabby court you?
27. How was Gabby different from Albert and Rowell?
28. Why did you decide to get married at a young age?
29. How was the marriage after the wedding?
30. When did you become pregnant with KC?
31. Are there any tell-tale signs that your marriage was on the rocks, the way Pops realized later on with Martin?
32. Why did you separate, if I may ask?
33. What made you decide to separate?
34. What did you feel when Grace Ibuna came into the picture? Dindi Gallardo?
35. How was working with Dindi go when you made Nang Iniwan Mo Ako with her? Nag-usap ba kayo? Pinag-usapan n'yo ba "siya"?
36. You and Gabby became on-and-off friends after the separation, right? Why was it that way?
37. Was there an incident that made you realized that you and Gabby can never be friends, at least that moment?
38. What did you feel when you learned that Gabby was already married before he married you?
39. Are you friends now? How did it come about?

40. How did you and Richard naman become lovers?
41. Is it true that your father did not like him?
42. In Kahit Wala Ka Na, Richard was kinda annoyed during the promotion, citing na hindi naman siya ang bida ru’n kaya di siya nagpo-pomote. Bakit kaya nagkaganu’n? May alitan ba kayo nu’n? Is he already courting you then?
43. When did your relationship with Goma end? Why?
44. Is it true na pinagsabay niya kayo ni Dawn? How did you find out about it?
45. Nagkaroon ba ng lamat ang friendship n’yo ni Dawn since you worked together in Nakagapos Na Puso?
46. How did you reconcile with her?
47. How long did you and Goma become friends after the break-up? Who initiated it?
48. Ano masasabi mo na gold digger ang tingin sa kanya ng iba?
49. What can you say about the issue he’s facing now with the BIR given that you are one of the top BIR payors?

50. Did you and Tonton become an item? Why or why not?
51. How about you and Robin?
52. Totoo ba na nagka-gap kayo ni Vina because of Robin?
53. May naging bf ka pa ba before Kiko na di ko nabanggit?
54. Sino pa nanligaw sa ‘yo from the business? Ba’t di naging kayo?

55. What is your favorite movie ever? Why?
56. Who is your most favorite director? Why?
57. Most favorite line in a movie?
58. Was there a conscious effort on your part to tackle almost the same theme in some of your movies or not veer away from the formulas?
59. Are you aware na OA ang ibang acting mo sa iba mong movies? You tend to overact, right?
60. Your worst film for me si Lilian Velez. Why did you accept that role? OA to the max lahat dun.
61. How was it working in Madrasta? Sobrang subtle ng acting mo ru’n compared to other movies. The best ka ru’n! Was that a conscious effort or Direk Olive told you to?
62. Is there a dream role that you haven’t done in movies? What is it? Why?
63. Dream actors to work with aside from Vilma?
64. Who is your favorite leading man? Why?
65. What is your least favorite movie? Why?
66. What is the movie that you regret doing? Why?
67. Ano ang pelikula mong pinakanahirapan kang gawin? Why?
68. Sino ang artistang nahirapan kang makatrabaho? Why?

69. Is it true that you and Maricel had a rift? How did it start?
70. What can you say that until now pinag-aaway pa rin kayo ng fans? Na laging may napupuna sa ‘yo ang Maricelians?
71. Ano reaksyon mo sa tawag ng Maricelians sa ‘yo na mang-aagaw since marami ka raw Box-Office Queen trophies na "inagaw" kay Marya? Maging yung best actress sa Famas during Sa Hirap At Ginhawa era?
72. Are you and her friends now?
73. Is there a chance for you to work together in a film? Would you like that?

74. Some people call you plastic dahil sa kaka-I love you mo. What can you say about that?

75. What can you say sa nagsasabi na dahil lang daw sa tatay mo kaya ka sumikat?

76. Are you aware na nabawasan na ‘yung quality ng voice mo? Are you willing to undergo voice coaching the way Lea did after she lost her voice? Sayang kasi.

77. What was your reaction to Susan Roces’s comments before, about you not being friends? OK na ba kayo ngayon?
78. Were you able to attend FPJ’s funeral? Nabastos ka ni Marichu Maceda nu’n, di ba? Not letting you see FPJ in the hospital ba or during the wake?

79. Rumors about Kiko being gay, how did you react?
80. But WHAT IF he was gay nga, how will you accept it? Will it matter to you?

81. What are your hobbies?
82. What DVDs do you like to collect?

83. What do you hate most in the business?
84. What do you love most?

85. Who is/are your best friend/s in show biz?

86. Sharon’s editing is bad. Are you aware of that? Are you doing something about it?

87. When did you start smoking? Why?
88. How many sticks/packs a day do you smoke? What made you stop?
89. Ano naging kapalit ng pag-quit mo?

90. You gained weight easily, why is that so? Is it because you’re too happy to care about the way you look? Nu’ng time ng annulment with Gabby, sobrang payat mo kasi.
91. What do you do to maintain a specific weight?
92. What can you say na napo-postpone ang shoot ng Caregiver palagi because of your weight? Do you take it against Direk Chito?
93. I remember that your weight was no issue in Nang Iniwan Mo Ako. The story revolved around it. Di ka ba nagre-request na sana ganu'n din dito?
94. Do you have any tampo in Star Cinema dahil dito?
95. Issue ba ‘yung weight-gain sa ‘yo or you’re Ok with it?
96. When do you eat the most? Depressed, stressed, or happy/contented?
97. Do you hate it when people call you fat?

98. What is your most favorite dish? Something you can’t live without.
99. Do you cook? Paboritong putaheng niluluto mo?

100. What is the medical procedure you did with Vicky Belo?
101. Why are you opposed to liposuction before (or until now)?

102. What are your turn-offs? Pet peeves?

103. Do you miss dancing like you did in TSCS?
104. What did you feel when you wore the “tanga?” What made you wore it? Fad?

105. The most daring thing you did in movies?

106. The most daring thing you did in life?

107. If you were not an actress, what would you be? Why?

108. What can you say about the TV versions of your films? Have you seen them? They’re horrible!
109. By not speaking about your feelings toward the said teleseryes, people call you mayabang. What can you say about that?

110. Did you actually leave Viva or was it circumstantial?
111. How long did you work in Viva?

112. What can you say about Juday’s tampo with ABS for not allowing her to promote Ouija? Did you have that experience?

113. What will make you join politics? Why are you opposed to it?

114. What is with Kiko that made you agree to marry him?

115. Do you see yourself retiring from the business?

Asia's Most Sinful Cities

Read here: Asia's Most Sinful Cities

3. Pride: Manila, Philippines

Much is made about the loveliness of the Filipino female. But you wouldn't know it by talking to the Filipino men -- they're too busy gazing lustfully into the mirror.

According to a study from Synovate, Filipino men are the most narcissistic in Asia. A whopping 48 percent consider themselves sexually attractive.

And if the ladies reading this think the guys' encounters with the brow tweazers are for your benefit, sorry -- nine out of 10 Filipino men polled said they liked to look good for themselves, not anyone else.

By way of comparison, just 25 percent of men in Singapore considered themselves sexually attractive, 17 percent in China and Taiwan and a measly 12 percent of Hong Kong guys think the same.

I find it hard to believe that the Philippines ranked 3rd with Pride, describing her men as in love with themselves, trying to look good for themselves. Who have they’ve been interviewing—men in the gym?! Gym men hardly represent the men in the country. Just like any country, not all men look like actors and models here. Don’t get your hopes up! Though I can proudly say that Filipinos are one of the most good-looking men in Asia, if not the best. :)

I wonder, is it because we take a bath more often than any other men do? :p

Tumblr

Visit my Tumblr page at www.sineasta.tumblr.com. See you there!

You Again (2010)

Read post here

Someone from the Past

Are these two one and the same? Is it probable that the one above was also the one below? What do you think? Help me out here.

Watching "The Bodyguard" (1992)

I caught the last 20 minutes or so of The Bodyguard on HBO. Apart from the songs and the soundtrack, I am not a fan of the film the first time I saw it in 1993, and I haven’t changed my mind about it since then. However, while it was playing on cable, I decided to watch it. I was only after the songs, I told myself. But there wasn’t much singing anymore since it was already on the way to the conclusion of the film. Still, I was glued on it.

Oh-kay.

It was still as bad as I thought it was almost two decades ago. Kevin Costner was at his best back then. He was on top of his Hollywood game. Old, but still a cutie charmer. Whitney Houston, though was in her best days as a singer, was baaad as an actress! She deserved a Razzie award, but Melanie Griffith beat her to it.

Suddenly, when Kevin’s character was shot, I began to cry. Something in me had snapped!

I remember one of my best friends in high school, Bangge. She loved this film so much, and she had a major crush on Kevin! We were in 4th year HS, and she couldn’t stopped raving about the film. She would sing “I Will Always Love You” every time she got the chance.

I haven’t spoken to her in ages. After college, we saw each other once in a while, and that was it. Hindi na namin siya nakasama sa mga gimik ng barkada, at hindi na rin siya umaten ng mga celebrations ng barkada. Kinasal at nagkaanak na ang karamihan sa amin, pero wala siya.

I tried contacting their landline number recently, but I couldn’t get through. Hindi ko na rin siya nasusumpungan sa shop nila sa Quiapo sa tuwing nagagawi ako ru’n.

I miss her.

There was a time when someone would actually take a bullet for me. Someone who would never leave my side no matter how stubborn I’d get. Someone who would worry even if I was just crossing the street.

Those days were over.

I miss them.

Watching The Bodyguard made me remember the days gone by. Days that you thought would last. People whom you thought would stay forever.

With that, there’s nothing left to do but sing…

[enter intro]

And I… will always love you…

[stop minus one]

Just a reminder, hindi pa naman sumakabilang-buhay ang mga taong nabanggit ko. Nag-e-emote lang ako.

[continue music]

I… will always love you…

Isang Kuha sa "Anak" (2000)

Ito ay mula sa pelikula ni Rory Quintos.

Natapos na ang madamdaming paghaharap nina Vilma Santos at Claudine Barretto bilang isang ina at anak na may kinikimkim na sama ng loob sa isa't-isa. Ibinuhos ni Vilma ang kanyang nararamdamang pangungulila kay Claudine sa mga panahong wala siya sa bansa. Humingi siya ng pang-unawa sa anak.

Matapos nang mabigat na tagpong iyon ay nagsumamo si Claudine sa ina. Simpleng pagtitimpla lang niya ng kape ay nangangahulugan na na humihingi siya ng tawad. Ito ang kanyang peace offering. Ito ang kanyang pagtaas ng white flag.

Pinaliwanag niya ang kanyang nararamdaman. Humingi rin ng tawad si Vilma sa kanyang mga naging pagkukulang sa anak.

Umiyak si Claudine. Sa eksenang ito ay maaaring hinayaan niya lang tumulo ang kanyang luha. O di kaya'y panahid ng kamay ang luha. Subalit pinili ni Rory Quintos ang ganitong kilos. Bakit kaya?

Continue reading here...

Pagbabasa sa Isang Eksena ng "Ang Lalaki sa Buhay ni Selya" (1997)

Ang eksena na ito sa pelikula ni Carlos Siguion Reyna na Ang Lalaki sa Buhay ni Selya ay nagmumula sa eksena kung saan inalok ni Ramon (Ricky Davao) ng kasal si Selya (Rosanna Roces). Nangungulila si Ramon sa pag-alis ng kanyang lover, samantalang masama ang loob ni Selya sa di pagpapakita sa kanya ng kanyang kasintahan. Nasa krisis siya ng kanyang buhay--kung lilinasin ba ang lugar na iyon o tatanggapin ang alok ni Ramon. Ang magiging desisyon niya ang magpapabago ng kanyang buhay.

Sa boarding house na tinitirhan niya na pinamamahalaan ng tiyahin ni Ramon na si Piling (Eva Darren) ay nagbalik siya. Binabasa niya ang sulat ng kasintahan habang kumakapit sa kanyang alaala. Sa labas ng silid ay ang kanyang mga boardmates na lalaki, nag-iinuman at nagkakasiyahan ng umagang-umaga...

Continue reading here...

Watch: "Bata, Bata... Paano Ka Gagawin?"

"Bata, Bata... Paano Ka Gagawin?" Online Premiere

Bata, Bata... Paano Ka Gagawin? premieres online on March 16!

Starring:
Joey Paras
Geng de los Reyes-Delgado
and
Ms. Gigi Locsin

Introducing:
Aries Hermoso



Written & Directed by:
Jerrick Josue David
Producer:
Myrna C. Josue
Assistant Director/Production Design:
Acy Ramos
Director of Photography/Light Designer:
Don Santella
Make-up Design/Gofer:
Rhea Zaratan
Location Manager:
TJ Parino
Stills Photographer:
Gilbert Sococ
Editor/Sound Design:
Adam Joseph
Talent Coordinator:
Danni Ugali



Sineasta Productions
2011

SENIOR YEAR

Irita Gomez Moments

Matagal ko nang gustong magsulat about pet peeves kaya lang nakakalimutan ko. Bukod pa ru'n, problemado talaga ako about making lists. Ask me about Top 3 or 10 faves movies of mine, paniguradong mawiwindang ako. Sagot pa nga lang sa pinakapaborito kong movie of all time, nahihirapan na ako. Ganya'n siguro talaga pag maraming iniisip, laging nag-iisip, at cluttered ang pag-iisip, wala sa ayos. Kaya I'm sure na hindi ko malalagay lahat dito ng mga bagay na ginagawa ng tao na kinaiinisan ko. Masusundan ito malamang.

In no particular order, these are my pet peeves:

1. 'Yung mga taong nakikinig sa music player nila na pagkalakas-lakas! Naka-ear phones na ito, ah! Pero sa sobrang todo-volume nang pinapakinggan nila, pati lyrics ng kanta ay gets na gets mo na. Feeling nila ay interesado ang katabi nila sa pinapakinggan nila.

Hindi ba nila alam na masama sa taynga ang pakikinig ng ganu'ng kalakas? O talagang nabingi na sila kaya kailangan nilang ilagay sa 10 ang volume ng player?

Eh ang pinakanakakabwisit pa ay kung gusto mong matulog!

2. 'Yung mga walang pakundangan sa pag-aabot ng bayad sa jeep. Walang pakiusap whatsoever. Minsan, basta na lang nila i-e-extend ang kamay nila at mag-a-assume na aabutin ng katabi ang bayad nila. Ni hindi magsasabi ng "Bayad" para naman maabisuhan ang katabi. Talagang feeling nila ay responsibilidad ng katabi nila na iabot ang sukli nila!

3. S'ympre kung may mga ganu'ng tao, mag-e-expect pa ba tayo na marunong silang magpasalamat sa pag-aabot ng bayad at sukli nila?

4. Eto pa! So naabot na 'yung bayad, di ba? 'Yung iba, wala nang pakiaalam after. Deadma na kung tanungin ng driver kung saan pupunta o saan galing o ilan sila. Ni hindi man lang i-volunteer ang information na 'yun. Either wala na sa sarili o nakikipagkwentuhan sa katabi ng walang pakialam sa mundo. Kung may sukli pa, kebs din! Tatapikin mo pa para kunin niya ang sukli niya.

5. 'Yung mga babaeng hindi nag-iipit ng buhok at hinahayaang hanginin ang buhok nila habang nasa jeep! Ikaw na katabi ay either mahahampas ng buhok o makakain ito. Type mo?

6. 'Yung basta-basta na lang sumisingit sa linya ng Communion. Of course, pagbibigyan mo naman. Di ito gaanong big deal. Ang nakakainis ay walang pasintabi kung sumingit. Hindi hihingi ng permiso sa 'yo or at least tingnan ka man lang para humingi ng abiso. Feeling nila ay karapatan nilang mauna sa pila!

7. Text language online--on Facebook posts, on forum comments, on blog posts (though di pa ako naka-encounter nito so far), etc. Can we make a distinction on the language? Text posts should never go outside cell phones! Tolerated na nga ang ganu'ng sistema, ia-apply pa kung sa'n-sa'n? Kaya marami rin sa mga estudyante ngayon na pati essays nila ay ginagamitan nila ng text abbreviations! Windang na nga sa grammar, windang pa rin sa spelling!

Worst, kung jejemon speak ang gamit! Patay tayo riyan!

8. The tag "Only in the Philippines". Naiirita ako sa tuwing mababasa ko 'yan na sinusundan ng negative trait about the Philippines. Sure ka na sa Pinas lang nangyayari 'yun? Napuntahan mo na ang buong mundo para makapagbitaw ka ng ganu'ng statement?

Kung bagot na bagot ka na sa bansang 'to, you are free to leave the country. Kung wala kang kakayahang gawin 'yun, might as well tiisin mo lahat ng kinakainisan and stay quiet about it! In the first place, dito ka nakatira at pinapakinabangan mo ang resources ng abang bansang ito. Magkaru'n ka naman ng konting pagpapahalaga.

9. Si PNoy, mukhang di rin type ang statement na 'yun kaya naman sa tuwing ipagtatanggol niya ang bansa, lagi niya kino-compare sa ibang bansa. "Kung sa ganito nga, ganito ang nangyari... Tayo pa kaya?"

In a way ay gumagawa siya ng palusot. At the same time ay minamaliit din ang ating bansa. "Kung ang ganito bansa na mas nakakaangat sa atin ay may nangyaring ganito, dito pa kaya sa bansan natin?" Ganu'n ang dating.

Why don't you just do your work and stop comparing!

10. Ang mga tanong ni Boy Abunda na parang may sariling buhay at ratrat lang ng ratrat sa pinagtatanungan niya. Nag-iisip pa lang ng isasagot ang interviewee niya ay may kasunod ng tanong! Nagsisimula pa lang ay sagot ay napuutol na dahil mahadera ang tanong at gustong umeksena kaagad! Matindi ang crab mentality! Hatakan nang hatakan para mauna sila.

Sabi nga ng classmate ko, "Feeling niya siguro ay ang tali-talino niya dahil sa mga tanong na binabato niya."

11. Bukod sa tanong niya, ang mga komento niya sa The Buzz na ang haba-haba na parang inaabot 'ata ang Baclaran mula sa Monumento! Minsan paulit-ulit na lang just so he can get his points across at talagang maintindihan ng kausap niya at mag-agree sa kanya.

12. With that said, scrap that POV segment in The Buzz. Pampahaba lang ng oras at dakdak lang kayo ng dakdak. Meat sa show biz ang importante at hindi ang opinyon ninyo.

13. Speaking of The Buzz uli, hindi fashion show ang programang ito kaya hindi dapat rumampa-rampa on stage with your designer gowns and suits gayong hindi naman kagandahan ang financial situation sa Pinas. Konting konsiderasyon naman at sensitivity.

14. 'Yung dumarating ng late sa group meeting na feeling pa-importante! Minsan pa nga, late na nga, siya pa ang mauunang aalis! O kaya, deadma lang sa pagiging late. Dadaanin sa kanyang charms at k'wento ang mga tao para makalimutang late siya.

Sa pinapasukan ko dati, inireklamo namin ang pag-start ng late ng mga meetings. Darating ako/kami on time, pero madalas ang mga kasamahan namin ay late. Reklamo rin naman daw nila 'yun. Ang kaso, ang buong management ang may ganoong unspoken system. So paano mo naman lalabanan? Nagkakaru'n ng ripple effect dahil ang unang meeting sa umaga ay late nagsisimula kaya damay pati ang mga susunod pa.

15. 'Yung mga estudyanteng late na, kung makapasok pa sa room ay parang walang lang. Stand proud, stand tall ang drama.

Nu'ng panahon namin (Shet! Sinasabi ko na talaga ang linyang ito!), kinakahiya namin ang pagiging late kaya, as much as possible, di kami gumagawa ng eksena pag pasok sa classroom.

16. No show. Kaya kong tanggapin ang late, basta darating! Ang sobrang nakakainis ay 'yung hindi darating at wala man lang pasabi!

17. Ang mundo na umiikot sa buhay nina Vice Ganda, Kris Aquino, at Tyra Banks!

"Ako ay ganito..." "Ako ay gan'yan..." "Kung ako nga..." "Parang ako..." "Pareho tayo..." "Kung ako 'yan..." "Ay, ako ay..."

S'ympre, Tagalog-translated na 'yan for Tyra! Haha.

18. 'Yung nasa harap na ng pila sa fastfood counter, saka pa lang mag-iisip kung ano ang o-orderin nila! Deadma kung mahaba ang pila! Basta pipili siya at tatanungin sa salesperson ang pagkakaiba-iba ng mga combo meals!

19. 'Yung ilang minuto na lang ay screening time na ng papanoorin mo at ang nasa harap ng pila ay pumipili pa ng movie na papanoorin niya! Putangna!

19. 'Yung mga direktor na binigyan ng pagkakataong gumawa ng pelikula, pero di pinagbubuti! Patuloy na naglalabas ng walang kwentang trabaho na never inisip ang pinagpagurang pera ng audience nila na ilulustay lang sa basurang pelikula nila! Hayup!

21. Gay men still claiming na bisexual sila when clearly bading sila. But who I am to judge when I'm not even a judge? :p

Bahala sila! Kanya-kayang trip 'yan. Basta tandaan ang sinabi ni Ricky Martin na he may have been with a lot of women, but he is not bisexual. He is gay! Period.

22. 'Yung mga "I don't kiss, I don't suck" kind of gay men! Pakyu! Feeling hari?

23. 'Yung mga sinungaling at walang isang salita. I made a post about it here. Big deal talaga sa 'kin 'yun. Kaya nga napakanta ako ng "Honesty... is such a lonely word" nu'ng mag-videoke kami ng barkada ko before the year ends. Kasi totoo naman.

Minsan din, honesty can be overrated, na statement ng pelikulang "Closer". Ikaw pa ang masama kapag nagsabi ka ng totoo.

24. 'Yung mga "musta ka" texts. How can answer such a broad question? Kadalasan "OK lang" ang masasagot mo. Kasi, if you become specific, will the person asking be interested to listen? Will you have the time to lend an ear?

Kung gusto mong makakuha ng specific na sagot at interesado ka talaga, be specific din sa tanong mo. "Musta ang lovelife?" "Musta ang trabaho?" 'Wag maging general at gawing parang "Hi" o "Hello" lang ang mga salitang "Musta ka?"

25. Dahil isa lang ang banyo namin, di maiiwasang may gustong gumamit kahit may gumagamit pa. Ang pinakaayoko ay 'yung madadaliin ako pag nakaupo sa trono! Nakaka-pressure! At kapag stress ka, ang hirap-hirap magsama ng loob, 'no!

Akalain mo 'yun! Naka-25 ako!

Ikaw, ano ang mga Irita Gomez moments?


P.S.

Baka di n'yo kilala si Rita Gomez. I-Google n'yo! Pero isang paalala lang, di siya nanay ni Richard Gomez!

ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal: Vack With A Vengeance!

"Ikaw ang superhero ng buhay ko,
ikaw pag-ibig mo’t pagmamahal
walang kinikilalang kulay o pangalan
nais kong matutong magmahal ng tulad mo
turuan mo ako, turuan mo ako…"

Yaeeyy! At last, for the 5th time, I will see and hear Dodong singing again that song to Ada to confess his true love for her...errr...him...ah whatevah!

Heetooo na......malapit na.....ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal....Vack With A Vengeance!

Here's the official press release from Tanghalang Pilipino:

Tanghalang Pilipino concludes its 24th Season with the power-packed return of its longest running, award-winning original musical comedy. ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal…Vack With A Vengeance! – the production’s 7th run – will be staged at the Tanghalang Aurelio Tolentino, Cultural Center of the Philipines, on February 18 to March 13. The production is bound to leave audiences rolling in the aisles again with its zany, madcap and gender bending brand of musical comedy. Eula Valdez reprises her award winning role as the redhaired super heroine. She will be joined by new cast members Gabe Mercado (alternating with Joey Paras) as Didi, her frilly mouthed assistant; Pinky Amador (alternating with Kalila Aguilos) as Queen Femina Suarestella Baroux, Zaturnnah’s fashionista archnemesis; Rocky Salumbides (alternating with Arnold Reyes and Red Anderson) as the hunk with a heart – Dodong – Zaturnnah’s object of affection.

The rerun also reveals a new set design by Gino Gonzales and lighting design by Katsch Catoy.

ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal follows the misadventures of Ada, a gay beauty salon proprietor who transforms into the voluptuous superhero(ine) ZsaZsa Zaturnnah. Zaturnnah saves her town from marauding zombies, powertripping fashion forward aliens and a giant dancing frog. ZsaZsa Zaturnnah became an underground cult classic when it first appeared as a graphic novel, Ang Kagila-gilalas na Pakikipagsapalaran ni Zsazsa Zaturnnah (The Spectacular Adventures of Zsazsa Zaturnnah penned and illustrated by Carlo Vergara. The piece was brought to the attention of Tanghalang Pilipino by stage director Chris Millado for inclusion in their Theater Season.

The graphic novel was adapted for the stage by Chris Martinez for Tanghalang Pilipino with Vincent de Jesus creating the words and Chris Millado directing the musical theater staging. Since its opening in 2006 ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal has attracted a growing, diversified and returning audiences while garnering rave reviews from mainstream critics, bloggers and from word of mouth. The 95th performance in March 2011 makes ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal the longest running musical theater production of Tanghalang Pilipino and arguably the longest running show in Philippine musical theater.

ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal…Vack With A Vengeance opens on February 18 and runs until March 13.

Tickets are now available at the CCP Box Office and TicketWorld outlets nationwide. For general ticket inquiries, call TANGHALANG PILIPINO at (632)832-3661 or 832-1125 local 1620/1621.

Konek-Konek Tayo

Ang liit-liit talaga ng mundo. Everybody seem to be connected with everyone especially with the advent of Facebook and Twitter. Magugulat ka na lang na kakilala pala ni ganito si ganyan at ganu'n. Si ganyan na kaibigan mo o kaaway na kaopisina pala ni ganito . Si ganu'n na crush mo o naging ex mo na jowa pala ni ganito. It's amazing and freakishly weird at the same time.

In this post, I won't name names. Sana lang ma-gets n'yo ang pinupunto ko even without getting specific on people.

Si C (which meant crush) ay connected kay K (kaklase) sa Facebook. K and I are Fb friends. Dahil hindi naman kami magkakilala ni C, hindi ko siya in-add sa Fb. To get acquainted with him, I sent him questions via this question-forming site. Of course, anonymous ako, yet flirty in a way to get his attention. Then we started exchanging e-mails. Pakana ko rin kasi tinanong ko siya kung saan ko siya pwedeng kausapin aside from the said site. He asked me how I knew him, but I just managed to tell him a not so honest answer. I just don't want him to figure out how we are connected.

Last December, mas naging personal ang conversation namin via e-mail chat. May pinagdadaanan kasi siya. He caught his bf cheating on him. Ooops! Hindi ko inaasahan 'yung sagot niyang 'yon. May bf na pala siya! Ouch!

So tuloy ang kwentuhan on the hows and the whys and what he intended to do. Konting advice-advice at kung anu-anong question and answer portion till we said our good nights.

That night hindi ako makatulog. Iniisip ko siya. Gusto niya kasi magpakilala na ko, so we can be better friends. Ayoko pa. Kasi baka pag nagkakilala na kami ng husto, mahulog lang ako ng husto sa kanya at masaktan. I'm not willing to get hurt again.

I asked God for a sign. Sabi ko, magpapakilala ako sa kanya the very next day rin kung magte-text siya pagkagising na pagkagising niya saying, "Kakagising ko lang." Kung hindi, it means na ayaw ni God at may iba siyang plano. I just don't wanna pass the opportunity of having a chance on him, yet gusto ko rin namang makasigurong may aasahan ako.

I waited the whole day for the text. Kahit hapon na, umasa pa rin ako na makukuha ko 'yung sign. Malay natin, hapon na siya nagising. Pero wala. Nakipag-bargain pa ko, but I know, in my heart, He has given me an answer. I can't compete with that. At lalong hindi ako pwedeng makipagtalo with Him about it since ako ang nanghingi ng very specific sign.

We talked that night, and I told him na ayaw pa ni God na magpakilala ako sa kanya.

The next day, I learned why. Nakipagbalikan si C kay Bf. Bibigyan niya raw ng second chance si Bf. So talaga palang masasaktan ako if I had insisted myself to him. Besides, alam ko rin namang wala pa sa level ng tuluyang hiwalayan ang dalawa. Ramdam ko 'yun. I just wanted to take a chance.

I asked C to tell me Bf's name para mahanap ko sa Fb at makilatis. Ayaw niya. So natapos ang kwento.

Tonight I saw Tf's (Twitter friend) post tagging C and another person. I clicked on C's id, at siya nga 'yun! So di lang pala kami kay K connected, pati kay Tf. Di ko naisip 'yun since graduate na si Tf.

I clicked the other person's ID. Hindi private ang account niya so nakita kong ang dami niyang posts na naka-tag si C. Siya ba si Bf?

Hinanap ko si Bf sa Fb ni Tf. Andu'n siya! Pag click ko ng Fb ni Bf, andu'n ang pic niya with C. Oh-kay! Siya na nga!

Then si Bf ay connected din kay A (actor) ko na nakausap ko through Tf. Sila talaga ang magkakilala ni Tf at pinakilala lang siya ni Tf sa 'kin through Twitter pa rin.

Ayun! Hindi ko naman kinarir na makilala pa 'yung ka-kompetisyon, pero basta na lang bumulaga sa 'kin nang walang ka-warning-warning! Parang pinamumukha sa 'king olats ako sa department na gusto kong pasukin.

Ouch!


P.S.

Eto talagang si Tf, Miss Friendship! Ang dami-dami-dami-dami-daming kakilala at kaibigan! Di ko siya kaibigan talaga in the truest sense of the word. Sa Twitter ko lang din siya nakilala.

Hindi Ako Duwag, Segurista Lang

Duwag daw ako, sabi ng isang crush dahil mas pinili ko raw patusin ang kaibigan niya (na unang lumapit sa 'kin) kaysa siya mismo ang puntiryahin ko gayong siya naman talaga ang gusto ko. I lost my chance on him, and it's all my fault, dagdag pa niya.

I must've admit that it was my fault. Naunahan ako ng kaba at takot kasi naramdaman kong I was never a match for him. Hindi kami makatugma. At alam kong he would never have taken a second look at me if we bumped into each other somewhere.

Sinabi niyang mali raw ang naging judgment ko sa kanya. Inunahan ko raw siya.

Maybe I have judged him too quickly, but since nangyari na ang nanyari, there's no way na malalaman pa namin kung iba ang magiging turnout ng pangyayari had I known about this. Basta ang alam ko lang, there are people whom you really think are way out of league, kaya to spare you from pain, you wouldn't even try expressing yourself to them.

One can consider it cowardice, but I call it segurista. Sa dinami-dami nang pinagdaan mong sakit, matututo ka nang maniguro at hindi basta sugod lang ng sugod.

Binisita ako ng kaibigan nu'ng January 1 dito sa bahay. Ikinuwento niya ang bagong lalaki sa kanyang buhay na walang bayag na panindigan siya sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kanila. Ramdam ko ang pananabik sa kanyang buhay. Naiintindihan ko ang kanyang pinagdaraanan kaya pinayuhan ko siyang i-enjoy lamang ang moment with him kahit ramdam kong hindi siya ang lalaking para sa kanya. Karapatan din naman niyang lumigaya at mahalin ng iba.

Naiyak nga siya nang sabihing gusto niya lang maramdaman ang appreciation ng iba sa kanya. Makailang ulit siyang bastusin ng kanyang asawa at ang huli nga ay nang ituring siya nitong nakapandidiri.

Alam ko ang kanyang pinagdaraanan. I am going through the same thing. At hindi na madali para sa akin ang magtiwala at umibig ng lubos. Hindi ko na 'ata kayang ibigay ang sarili ko nang buong-buo kundi ako makakasisigurong tunay ang taong pagbibigyan ko.

Tawagin na n'yo akong duwag, if it meant protecting myself from pain. Tawagin na n'yo ako duwag, if it meant that I get to save whatever dignity I have left for myself.

The truth is, hindi ako takot magmahal. I'm open to it. Ang kinakatakot ko ay ang umibig sa maling tao na may kapasidad na mandurog ng puso kaysa buuin ito.