Never Gonna Happen

Last Sunday, I saw Y! Speak. Its topic was about relationship's needs and wants. I wasn't able to see the beginning (introduction of guests) so I was surprised to see C & D on it when the guests were all couples. So I asked someone who knows them if they are, indeed, now a couple. Baka kasi nahuhuli na ko sa balita. His reply was, "But he's gay. It's never gonna happen."

Well, I already figured that out a long time ago. It's not that hard to tell. I just thought that, maybe, C is still living in some alternate universe and is still afraid to come out.

Anyway, D clarified in the end that they are not a couple. They are just good friends. She also added that C is "happily taken" already. It is a relationship she wishes to have in the future. Hmmm...

Who are C & D? Tune in to 93.1 and you'll find out! *wink wink*

Yahoo!'s Bullsh*t!

"This Yahoo! Account Has Been Deactivated" was the message I got when I asked for my password a few minutes ago. I couldn't log-in hence the need to do such. Wtf was that?! I got all confused especially that I just checked my messages earlier today and was able to send out messages to e-groups. How could this have happened? When you try searching for an answer on their database, you wouldn't get any!

So I tried searching the net using the words "Yahoo!" and "deactivated". You'd get a lot of pages indicating such words. Apparently, Yahoo! has been doing this act for quite some time now. They could just easily delete your account anytime they want to without any reason at all. Power tripping, I guess. Or just random selection of their database. Unlucky me, I became the target!

A quote from their Terms of Service says, "Yahoo! reserves the right at any time and from time to time to modify or discontinue, temporarily or permanently, the Service (or any part thereof) with or without notice. You agree that Yahoo! shall not be liable to you or to any third party for any modification, suspension or discontinuance of the Service..."

"... You agree that Yahoo! may, under certain circumstances and without prior notice, immediately terminate your Yahoo! account, any associated email address, and access to the Service."

Fuck fuck fuck! It wasn't the e-mail address per se which was my main concern. What I lost were my contacts, my e-groups memberhips, some personal mails in the said address, etc. What pisses me off further is that once you sign-up again using your old ID, it'd be unavailable! Huh?! If it is unavailable, who uses it now? If it's still yours, where is it now? I had it for eight years and it suddenly disappears!

As if I don't have enough worries and this happens! So beware! Don't store anything valuable on your e-mail or use their service such as Flickr or Y! Photos. Once you get deactivated, you could never retreive them all!


Read more about this:
Yahoo Hates You!
Yahoo deactivates acounts without warning

Good Ole Place/Displaced

My first week in college was a tough one for me. After every class, at night, I'd cry myself to sleep. I found it difficult to adjust since I didn't become friends with anyone that easily. I had wish that I was back in high school where everything was all right. Where everything was safe. I had wanted to be with my friends whom I knew would protect me with the difficulties I was facing then. However, I learned to get along with people and started developing a clique. From then on, college became a happy place.

When I started my masteral class in Ateneo (and my first work a few months after), I felt that I was back in my first day of college. Only this time, I was wishing that I was with college buddies. Back to the time when everything felt good. When everything was familiar and safe. Of course, after a while, I have adapted myself with the new life. So the emptiness during the few week faded.

As of today, I'm at a crossroad. My future seemed unclear. My life looked uncertain. Unsafe.

Whenever I am faced with such dilemma, like any other people, I resort to doing what would made me feel safe or good -- whether it'd be a place or food. During the last couple of months, I had this need in me to collect and watch the TV shows I grew up watching. Somehow, these shows make me feel secure even for a just a while. It brings me back to those days when I look for ward to seeing them every week. After I see them, it was a sure thing that they'd give me a pleasant feeling.

It is my coping mechanism when I need to examine my life and think about the path that I have to take. Before I'd go and take some action, I somehow go back to my past. Even though the past wasn't exactly a bed of roses, you know that it was a safe place to go back to because you managed to get past through it.

I don't know why is my life a big bowl of irony these days. I don't understand why I can't pay my obligations now that I have a job, as oppose to when I was a bum. When I was free, at the end of the month, I somehow get enough money to pay my debt and some extra cash for movies and food. It was more than what I am getting now with my job. I don't know why the job that I thought was a blessing turned out to be the lowest-paying salary of my entire career. Now, I have to decide whether to stay or not since the end of the semester is fast-approaching. If I leave, will there be something good coming for me? If I stay, would I get stuck and be in debt for the rest of my life? What I have right at the moment isn't exactly good but it makes me feel a contributing person to the society. Even though my salary isn't qualified enough to pay for taxes -- which could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it.

Soon, I have to choose the road I need to take. Whatever it may be, may God help me...

Am I making something worthwhile
Out of this place
Am I making something worthwhile
Out of this chase
I am displaced
I am displaced.

(From the song "Displaced" by Azure Ray from Felicity soundtrack)

You Are The One

You Are The One
Star Cinema
Cathy Garcia-Molina

Sally Malasmas (Toni Gonzaga) met Will Derby (Sam Milby) at the US Embassy when she tries to apply for a US Visa. Unfortunately, Will, being the vice-consul, turned down her application.

Unexpectedly, Sally and Will met again. Will went to the National Statistics Office to find his birth certificate. He was pointed to the Care Officer which happened to be Sally. When Sally learned about Will, she turned the table around. She made him wait from morning till the time their office closed. Knowing what she has done, her boss (Lito Pimentel) asked her to undo her mistake by doing the best she could to help Will. Unwillingly, she did till they found what they were looking for.

The next day, Sally offered her help to locate the parents of the one in the birth certificate. She had no idea that they would be looking for Will's biologocal parents. She did him the favor so that, in time, he could do the same to her. She wants to go to the US to attend to her ailing mother.

During the course of their trips, they learned more about each other. Unevitably, they fell in love. However, personal issues from both of their families separated them. Time could only tell if they'd be back to each other's arms to create a family of their own.

No doubt about it, as a romantic flick, You Are The One achieves its goal: pakiligilin ang kanyang manonood. It has all the elements of a formulaic love story: dashing guy meets a smart, hardworking girl; a sort-of love-hate relationship between them; a goal that would keep them together for a while; a trip to a certain beautiful location where they would fall in love, and; a conflict that would try to break them apart and test their relationship.

However, behind the romance lies the back of the story of each character. Will was adopted by an American couple. With that, he held a grudge towards his biological parents and had been meaning to get some answers from them. On the other hand, Sally was also resentful of her older sister whom she felt was given much importance than her by their parents. In that aspect, I feel that the film lacked enough characterization to justify what happens towards the end of the film especially with Will's character. It wasn't clearly established in the beginning that Will wasn't capable of expressing his love. It just sorta happens when conflict arises. Or maybe nakulangan lang ako or might've missed it altogether.

Aside from that, some scenes felt too staged for comfort especially the beginning and ending of the film. They lacked realism that we, Pinoys, love. They had Hollywood written all over it.

Acting-wise, Sam Milby was good enough for someone with just two movies to boot. There's a lot of room for development and for sure, he'd do better in his next projects. As for Toni Gonzaga, she has a potential to be a good commediene only that most of the times, she tries too hard esp. with her dramatic scenes. She tends to jerk her head whenever she delivers her lines as if hosting for a variety show. Her tone seemed monotonous, as well, the way she delivers her spiels in PBB before. As a couple, the chemistry wasn't that strong enough. Scene stealers, though, are Eugene Domingo (who seemed to do well whether thrown into comedy or drama) and Gio Alvarez as Sally's gay friend. Gio has his own take on acting gay - soft yet not too flamboyant.

Bitter-Bitteran

"Bitter si Jheck, 'yan ang sabi ni _____," were Halili's text to Acy when she asked her about our director's group message last night. The message had something to do about asking some support from the members re the counteraction that he might do against me and Don's complaint letter. We formally made a letter re our concerns to the GMAAC. It was sent last week and apparently, it was only yesterday that the people involved read it.

For one thing, the most unsettling question we had in mind was that why is there a need to ask for members' support when, clearly, the complaint was against him and us? It was about the script that he so-admittedly rewrote without informing us citing that he was busy. Does he really need them to make a counter letter? Doesn't he have the balls to face us himself? Why does he need back-up?!

According to dictionary.com, bitter means (1) hard to bear, grievous, distressful; (2) causing pain, piercing, stinging. Yes, what he did made us sick to our stomachs. For a while, we tried to take them all in. Thinking that, in time, he'd do what is right for the group and its members. But there's so much that we could take. Not doing something about our situation would disgrace us further. He did an atrocious offense which caused us pain and suffering. For that, he is right to say that I am bitter!

Bitter is (3) characterized by intense antagonism or hostility. When one has been pushed to the mud, kicked and spat on, one has to take an action. We couldn't take it sitting down anymore and pretending that everything was fine. Rewriting the script without our knowledge pushed Don and me to the threshold. It was the very worst thing that he did amongst the other bad things. Being nice didn't do good. If hostility is what it takes to put him in his right place, so be it! Let me be bitter!

Bitter is when something is (4) hard to admit or accept. We enrolled in the workshop with positive outlook. We wanted to learn more about the ropes of the business. We were keen on meeting new people that have the same desires as ours. Sadly, what we didn't expect was that we would be thrown-in into the dirty politics of the business this early. What we learned that most is how cruel the business could be to newbies like us and how it could destroy people's relationships. Now, tell me - is that easy to swallow? Wouldn't you be bitter, too, if that happened to you?

Bitter is when you become (5) resentful or cynical. There are so many things that I'd wish were different. I regretted having him around as a group mate. I guess, if not for that one girl in our group, he wouldn't join us in the first place. So should I say that I wish that we didn't have her, too? I am so-regretting that I didn't step up to him earlier. That I let him manipulated us while the whole production was going on. If I just used my voice, this might have been prevented. But there's no use for wishful thinking now or enumerating the what ifs. What we need to do now is face what would lie ahead. I am hoping that this experience wouldn't leave us jaded and bitter in the end.

If I am bitter, it isn't my fault. This is all your doing! So now, it's time for you to taste it. Who knows, you might like it!

If you notice, I don't dare mention your name here. Just because I'm still decent enough to protect you and whatever dignity you have left in your name.

The War Is On

Just when ceasefire between Lebanon and Israel started, our own war began. Last Sunday, Don & I have reached the highest peak of our disappointment upon learning the most shocking event in the history of our workshop lives -- the script that was asked to be rewritten a week prior to the original date of our shoot was not the one used on the day itself! Our director rewrote the script the way he truly wanted it to be without our knowledge. What's worst is that never did he approach us once during the entire shoot. He didn't apologize or the least inform us that he had to revise the script for so and so reason. He bypassed us as if it wasn't such a big deal.

People who had high concerns for us, of course, felt bad for us. However disappointed, I didn't know how to react properly with such faced situation. I guess, you could say that I felt sorta numb with the entire thing. For one thing, all my defenses were down since I don't have much energy to begin with. I hadn't slept well the night before. All day long, I had this lingering headache that stayed till the shooting ended. Second, there was so much to do that thinking and feeling were out of the question.

"If I were you, I have walked out on it," friends would say. Perhaps that was the best thing to do given that rude behavior that we have received from him. But as I've mentioned, I had a numbing feeling all day long. Besides, walking out would mean having to leave our friends behind during the entire shoot. We couldn't afford to leave Acy, Bibs, and Len because they would have a more difficult time without us. It wasn't the time or the place to think about ourselves. We stayed for our team -- Don, Acy, Bibs, Len, and I, and not for anyone else.

Yesterday, despite the lack of sleep since we arrived at home at around past 1 AM, Monday night, I went to school. I should have rested but I thought that since I will just be giving a quiz, it won't be that hard and tiring. During the quiz, 3 of my students cheated right under my nose! I was seated in front of them. They were doing it as if I wasn't there or as if I didn't notice. After class, I had called their attention to it. I told them, "Di na kayo nahiya sa kin? Nasa harapan n'yo pa man din ako?" I continued, "Sige, kung di kayo nahihiya sa kin, mahiya na lang kayo sa sarili n'yo!" While I was saying those words, I could almost cry. I felt that I was back at the time and place the day before it. The events started to sink in on me now. Our director spat on our faces! We were betrayed! We were stepped on! As if it wasn't enough, we were kicked, as well!

From then on, I decided to do something about it. No more nice guys anymore. We have kept our silence about the issues between us for too long. We can't just sit and wait for him to realize his mistakes.

I have asked Don to write the formal complaint letter addressed to GMA Artist Center while I would do my letter to the director cc to our head facilitator stating our feelings toward the entire production process until the day of the shoot. Prior to that, I have sent our director, cc to our head facilitator, text messages saying that Don & I wouldn't be attending any of the editing sessions. As a decent human being, I felt that informing him is the best thing to do. Besides, I felt that the more we participate, the more he thinks that what he was doing was OK with us. "We don't feel part of this whole endeavor anyway when you blatantly rewrite the whole script under our noses," I said. It wasn't our script anymore. It wasn't our story. What's more was that we requested to not put our names as screen writers on the credits.

Upon learning such, the head facilitator texted me saying, "We'll talk about it later. OK?" But I never received a message or call from him after that. Instead, I got a message from our director a few hours after. "Sorry about that. For awhile there, I just wanted to get done with Kasal kasi mabigat din because of the rift in the group at may ibang projects ako ginagawa. Na bring up ko sa last two meetings regarding the script, di ko lang nasabi din kasi busy din ako." Giving out the I'm-busy-reason was unacceptable to me. Don & I are just a phone call or text away. And since the rest of his group knew about it, why not asked them to tell us? Did he also forget that Acy was there at the last pre-prod meeting -- the night he'd be revising the script? He could've told her about it since he was his Assistant Director. Why was she left out of it? The truth is, he didn't tell us because he knew that what he'd be doing was so damn wrong!

It was a big deal! He had disrespected us not only as the assigned group's writers but as part of the group and paying students of the workshop. He made us feel worthless -- twice! Why the hell did he OK'd the two scripts that we wrote when in fact he didn't like it? Besides, don't we have a say regarding the production? Are we just his mere staff and crew that we need to abide by his rules? Nah-uh! No, siree! In reality, we are the most important students in the workshop since we paid for it and he was just a mere scholar! Has he forgotten that?! We somehow paid for his part on the workshop!

Last night, I started writing him a letter stating all my feelings toward him and the production. I had smoothly written it. Thoughts just came pouring in so easily. Partly, we allowed this to happen because we didn't say a damn thing about it earlier. We kept our silence because of fear. Now that the shooting is over, there is no need to stay mum anymore. We have kept our feelings to ourselves long enough.

Aside from him, I have poured out my feelings of disappointment towards another person in our group. It wasn't about her per se but about the thing that I felt that she should have done -- inform us or ask if we knew about the script revision. I was hurt knowing that she knew about it and did not do anything. I thought she was a friend. But then, instead of somehow getting my point, she lashed out on me saying this and that! I tried explaining to her my side yet she kept on pushing her own disappointments about the group on me. In the end, I had to surrender. I couldn't get through to her and there was no point of arguing with her.

I was forwarding some of the messages I was sending to my friends in the group. I want them to know the steps that I have been taking although I made it clear that I won't drag their names. In the complaint letter, it was my name and Don's who was in it. In the letter to our director, it was I who was the signee. The most unexpected text came in today, "Jheck, ayokong madamay. I don't wanna get involved. I'm sorry. But I'm still your friend. I hope you understand." Because I was half-asleep when I read it, I told her that it was OK. I understand.

But then, I couldn't go back to sleep anymore. That message bothered me -- a lot! I suddenly felt a tweak of pain in my chest. My heart was beating as if I had a needle stuck right to it. It had hurt me a lot. It felt like I was dropped like a hot potato by someone close to me. The thing is, I told her, she need not fight the battle for me or with me. As long as we know that she supports us, that would be enough. The truth is, she didn't even need to say it. We just feel that she'd be standing by our side. However, it was a wrong presumption on my side.

It was that message that made me cry. I swear, it was unexpected. I was very much offended by it. It is so sad that we get support more from friends outside our group instead of within our group. Still, I refuse to believe the saying that "You only know who your friends are in times of crisis." Because I do not believe that she is not a friend, in the first place. Or could I just be in denial? My instincts about people are almost always true and as I think about it, I may be... Nah! I don't wanna think about it at the moment.

War is an ugly battle. No one wins in it. There will always be casualities along the way. It is sickening to think that we are just on our way to it yet bridges have already been burned... Relationships have already been defiled...

P.S.
Don is having an emotional battle of his own. His mom is sick and he couldn't tell his parents about what happened knowing that they'd get hurt by it. His mom sickness might worsened because of it.

"Kasal" Shooting

Finally, the shooting of our short film happened on August 13, 2006. It has been moved three times before the said date. Our location was at the Pavillion 1 of National Center for Mental Health. Being in NCMH brought back college memories. We held our clinical OJT there in 1996. After 10 years, I was back there shooting a film this time.

Our call time was 6 AM but started camera rolling at around 10 AM. We were supposed to end by 5 PM but finished at past 9 PM.





Valerie Concepcion and Lloyd Zaragosa (Jessa's brother) are our lead actors. Tatay Romy Vitug assisted us with the camera. Direk Rahyan Carlos and Sir Julius Fortin visited us in the afternoon and evening, respectively.

After the shoot, we went to Chicken Bacolod Inasal in Metrowalk for dinner. We left at past 12 AM.

More kwento soon...


Note:
More pictures at my Multiply site

Must-Sees TV (As Far As I'm Concern)

Like any other normal human being, when I am down, I wanna go shopping! But I don't buy clothes or shoes, I go for CDs (before) and videos (DVDs now)! Lately, I've been having the urge to collect the tv series (original, please!) that I've grown accustomed to and loved along the way. These tv series are memorable to me because I'd either related to some of their characters or they brought me to tears. Someway or the other, these shows have played a great part of my life. They were there the moment I needed them for whatever purpose. The only (and the biggest) thing that stopping me from buying them is -- M.O.N.E.Y.! *sigh sigh sigh*


This is practically a classic! Best friend Elma and I loved this a lot! This is not available in the market anymore. In the marketplace, it costs $150++! I have a few episodes on VHS, though. Nenok pa nga sa isang co-teacher dati. I borrowed it from him and never returned it! That's how much I loved it! Character reference: Angela (during my teen years)Visit: MSCL


A new love! A new favorite! Can't wait to have it on original to see all the special features in it. The plot may seem implausible yet it'll hook you like a bait to a fish! Banyo lang ang magiging pahinga mo!Character reference: Wala!Visit: Prison Break


This is the ultimate must-see gay tv! As of the moment, nothing could beat this one! Never did a show shocked and aroused me, and made me dream, cry, and think all at the same time. Aside from that, with all the beautiful men around (most of the time naked!), you'd be a fool to resist it! It takes it final bow on Season 5. So far, it's the season I haven't seen yet. Character reference: Michael! Visit: QAF Addiction


Best friend Elma was soooo in love with Pacey! I, on the other hand, had the hots for Ethan (Adam Kaufman - from Taken) -- Jack's love interest in Season 3. So now you know why I'd only prefer to have this season. :-)Character Reference: Wish to be Jack when he was romancing Ethan!Visit: Dawson's Creek


Do I need to say more about this?! Character reference: I don't think that I could relate to anyone. I particularly love Bailey, though!Visit: Grey's Anatomy


When I was in my second relationship, there was a time that I'd rather watch this than talk to him. He knew that when it was on during Thursdays on RPN 9, I'm off-limits to him! I guess that it was a sign that our relationship was truly doomed to fail! Hahaha! Character reference: None.Visit: Onceagain


Before SATC came, Ally McBeal is my bible! Whenever an episode ends, I'd cry my heart out. I was lonely then. I was longing for intimacy. The way Ally does in the series. Good thing that I was able to get out of her world. Character reference: Ally, of course!Visit: Ally McBeal Fox UK, Quotes

The One With All the Ten Seasons! So fun! So beautiful to have! Character reference: I'm more of Monica with her being domineering and obssessive complusive.Visit: Friends

Felicity had two problems in her life throughout the series: what to do with her life and who to choose between Ben and Noel! Shet! Kung ganyan lang sana kahaba ang hair nating lahat! No wonder, she cut it short on Season 2! Sobrang haba na, eh! Hehehe... Character reference: Felicity, in my wondering years.Visit: A Felicity Page, Quotes


One of the best!!! Damn, I wanna see the latest seasons!Character reference: NoneVisit: ER


Before Ally and way before SATC, I was an X-Philer! This is one of my must-haves! Character reference: None.Fave mutant: Season 1's Eugene Tooms! He scares me!Visit: X-Files

And my ultimate must-haves?!


SATC Box Set! Nampucha! $200 siya! Character reference: A combination of Carrie and MirandaVisit: Sex and the City Quotes


X-Files Cabinet Set! Priceless! Sa sobrang mahal, di ko na inalam pa ang presyo! Malabo nang makuha ko pa siya!

Janet Peters-isms: On US Dating

More of Janet's life in the US. This time, it's about dating. I thought that her stories only happen in the movies/TV but I was dead wrong! True enough, movies mirror life. Or is it a case or life mirroring movies? Hmm...

Anyway, this is long but worth reading! Funny!

Miss you, girl!

August 10, 2006

kumusta na kayong lahat?!

sorry it took me forever to write you all back ... not having my own laptop plus the strict firewall in my office pc can be quite frustrating. so do bear with me coz this email will be sabog and full of typos coz am doing this while am on my break on a friend's laptop.

i'm approaching my third month here (3 months! can u believe it?! why does it feel longer than that?) which is why i've been feeling unusually nostalgic & senti a couple of weeks ago. i've only been gone for a while and already, i've reminisced about every single detail of my life back there ... TWICE! am not complaining ok? this is probably the second best thing that's ever happened to my career and not a lot of people are given this kind of opportunity. am very very thankful. it's just that living my whole life under the comfort of my family and friends in an familiar environment, then suddenly giving it all up to seek supposedly greener pastures in a foreign country where everybody is a stranger, well ... it can be tiring, you know. it's such a huge effort to adjust to the people and surroundings and weather ... nakakapagod din.

thank God i don't have to face any language barriers here! in fact, most of the locals i met are surprised that my english is 'perfect'! *roll eyes* yes, they all called it 'perfect'. i don't remember anymore how many times i had to explain that english is our second language and everyone, as in EVERYONE in the philippines can speak and read the language. and that 95% of our subjects in school -- from elementary to college -- are in english. may script na nga ako noh! i know this will sound bad but i just find it hilarious when some of them are obviously at a loss as to what and where the philippines is. one of them even asked if it snowed in the philippines. hehehe (tanga!) i forgive their ignorance. let's face it, the philippines isn't exactly as popular as the other asian countries (japan, china, vietnam, korea). although i do admit that i feel extremely annoyed when they assume that the philippines is one gigantic farmland, lacking of any modern infrastructure, and that transportation meant horses and cows. i have no idea why they have that impression. there are times naman that i would meet people who are familiar with our country. the guy behind the counter of where i buy my groceries asked me what my nationality was. i told him that i'm a filipino. he said na he was told that there are a lot of nice places in the philippines. apparently, he used to be in the army and one of his friends was based in the philippines and had nice things to say about it. kewl! nakakataba ng puso =)

since most of you keep on asking, eto na : yes, i've been going out on dates. *wink* o, don't get ur hopes up coz you're in for a huge disappointment! basta, read on and you'll know why!

i've been meeting a lot of locals and to be honest, medyo mahirap coz nauubusan ako ng 'perfect' english! iba talaga dito. i went out with this guy who lived 45 minutes away. one thing i noticed is that BIG DEAL dito ang distance. araw araw kasi tumataas ang gas and since it's 45 minutes to pick me up then 45 minutes travel time nya para sha maka-uwi, medyo nalayuan ata kasi one time, nag-comment na sana marunong ako magdrive para puntahan ko daw sha. huwaaaaaaat?! are u some kinda ok?! scuuuuse me noh! i don't think so! NEXT!

so far, i haven't been on a date na kumain ako. no joke! no one's asked me for dinner, ever!!! it's either billiards, bowling, darts or movies .... yes, my friends ... you read it correctly : billiards bowling and darts! what the hell?! can u imagine me playing fucking billiards and darts and bowling?!?!?!? kung di lang cute yung guy, goodnight na itoh, uwi na lang ako! pero sige, kaladkarin naman ako, so ok, fine! billiards, darts at bowling na kahit mukha akong tanga. (pasalamat sila na di ako bratinella noh!) of course i sucked big time! di na tinatanong yun! e hello naman po, you all know naman na am not sporty spice noh! so lunok na lang ako ng pride and pinanindigan ang mga ito. oh, i forgot that there was also basketball .... hehehe .... anak ng pucha naman o! ganito ba talaga dito?!?!?! utang na loob!!!!!! in fairness, nag-enjoy naman ako kahit lampa ako. may mga napasok naman akong mga bola sa billiards (di lang lahat) at may mga napapatumba naman akong pins nung nag-bowling ako (may dalawang strike pa nga e) at may mga na-shoot naman akong mga bola during basketball. pero, am sorrrreeee, palpak talaga ako sa darts! (loser!)

the best part was when i beat one of my dates on the air hockey table. (am sure you're familiar with that game ... almost every timezone has one). it's the only game that i know am good at and since i was already on a losing streak that night after two games of bowling, my date asked if i was up for it. so i said sure, why not? nothing to lose na naman ako since olats na olats na beauty ko diba? well, it turns out that i beat him 10 to 5. yey me! (palakpak naman dyan!) it was so funny coz it was very obvious na napipikon na yung guy. to the point na lumilipad na yung puck out of the table coz he was hitting it so hard! hahaha! di naman sha competitive noh? apparently, he's never been beaten by a girl on that game before. well, now am sure he'll always remember me! (dunno pa if that's a good or bad ... will have to wait and see! *wink*)

besides the sportsfest, i went on a zoo field trip. hahahaha! yup, i went to the friggin zoo .... and i never went out with that guy again!! shet! di ako maka-relate sa kanya coz he's some kinda shakespearean type of dude and that's all he talked about. huhuhu, gusto ko na maghanap ng taxi at umuwi! (naku, kung di lang ginto ang bayad sa mga taxi dito!) di ko alam kung sumakit ulo ko dahil sa sobrang init at naglalakad lang kami the whole time or dahil sa extra effort of keeping up with the conversation ... i think it was both. (bwiset!)

i also did the coffee-date (starbucks) and i never saw the guy again either. you will all think am being mean but he was sooo geeky na sumakit din ulo ko sa kanya! sobrang geek talaga e! at first ok naman ... we talked about my favorite topic : movies! pero later on, ang labo nya kausap! when he asked about my religion (which i have no idea kung paano napunta sa topic na yun yung conversation namin) i said am catholic. his reply : "awesome" .... um, ano naman ang kina-awesome ng pagiging catholic ko?! go figure menn! *roll eyes* when he asked me out again, i asked what we were gonna do. so he asked me what i wanted to do. so shempre, sagot ako na i wanted to watch a movie. so ok, fine movie na. i wanted to watch pirates of the caribbean dead man's chest. patay, di pwede kasi di nya type si johnny depp because apparently, johnny depp said a lot of bad things about america and now lives in europe. so the geek doesn't want to watch any movies with johnny depp in it. (huwaaat?!?!?!? sorta kinda patriotic of him, noh? affected, grabeh! lost ako ditoh!!!!) so usap usap then biglang mag-bowling na lang daw kami. ako naman, um, ok. (shit, bowling again! by the end of the year, magiging expert bowler na ako sa dami ng beses kong nag-bo-bowling!) then usap usap uli yada yada blah blah, biglang wag na lang daw bowling, mag-barbeque na lang daw kami sa bahay nya at dun na lang kami manood ng videos. ano bah?!!!!!! umiinit na ulo ko sa yo ha!!!! make up your fucking mind menn!!! napaisip tuloy ako na parang tinitipid ata ako nito! so para lang matapos yung conversation, i said sure then we ended the call. later that week, he texted and asked if tuloy kami. i replied na something came up and that i wouldn't be able to go. call me a flaker, i don't care pero di talaga kaya ng powers ko to go out with him again! anyways, na-karma ata ako coz i was supposed to go out with this blonde, blue eyed dude last sat (he's no brad pitt -- asa pa ako -- just thought you should know. although, ok sha kausap). to cut the story short, he cancelled on that day itself and gusto sana bumawi and wanted to take me out on sunday instead, pero sa sobrang inis ko, i told him i already made plans for that day (even though church was the only thing on my itinerary for that day). so next time na lang daw. whatever!

yung pinaka-winner sa kanilang lahat ay yung naka-date ko two weeks ago. when he arrived, he rang the bell. so when i opened the door, nagulat ako and i wanted to close it kaagad ... not because he was drop dead gorgeous and neither was he fugly (new word i picked up : fugly = fucking ugly), but because i didn't want him to see me laughing ... why? coz he had a unibrow .... oh no! huhuhu! gusto ko magkasakit on the spot! pero hinde, nag-commit na ako, might as well go through with it. (besides, if i didn't push trhough with it, wala akong makukuwento sa inyo! hehehe) so instead of closing the door, nag -"hi how are you" ako (acting to the max!) and at the same time nagdasal na please Lord, tulungan nyo akong pigilin ang tawa ko! i've never ever seen a live unibrow before .... i've only seen frida kahlo's photos and the trailers of the movie where salma hayek portrayed frida. so when i saw this guy with the unibrow, my will power to not stare was all the way up to the maximum level! when he would talk to me, di ako tumitingin coz every time na titingin ako sa kanya, images of tweezers and wax strips and razors are floating in my mind. if the unibrow wasn't enough, i could barely understand what he was saying. even though he's been in america for the past eight years (he's originally from albany), his thick accent makes it difficult for me to comprehend what he was talking about so i kept on asking him repeat what he was saying. it came to a point that i pretended na lang to understand his words. the date lasted a total of two hours ... the longest, most excruciating two hours of my existence. what did we do? well, he said we were gonna have dinner then watch a movie. so i was wondering why we went to the park. tambay lang kami sa may mga swing, watching kids play and dogs running around. maya-maya, medyo gutom na ako. i asked him if he ate na. anak na pating, kumain na daw sha!!! am sorreeeee!!!!!! so, trying not to lose my temper coz baka di ako ihatid nito, i asked if it was ok if we passed by mcdonald's. he said sure. so we went to mcdo. he parked the car, i went down na and walked ahead (gutom na ako). di po sha bumaba ng car! nyeta! so i got my order to go, paid and went back to the car, and he brought me home. i literally ran back to my apartment! grabecious menn!!!!!!! gusto ko maloka! anong klaseng date itoh?!?!?! i told my roomies about it and tawa sila ng tawa! i told you pinaka-winner si unibrow! may pahabol pa : he called two days later and asked if i wanted to go out again. (ngiiiii!!!!!!!! ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw ayaw!!!!!) i politely declined. never heard from him again ... except for a couple of emails that he send which i just deleted. never again!!!!!!! yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck!

i went out naman with another guy and told him about unibrow. natawa din sha and told me na if he didn't have his eyebrows waxed, he would probably have a unibrow as well. i replied na sobrang perfect ng eyebrows nya, mas maganda pa yung sa kanya kesa sa akin! he was like "no way! of course not!" .... napikon ata coz i never saw him again! hahahahahahaha! huwaat?!?!?! di ko na-get yun! hahahahaha! crazy noh? the things i do to avoid boredom! my gulay!

miss you all!

beso,
janet

Janet Peters-isms: On US Life

I am in a bad mood today. I don't know why. Something seems to be not fitting at this very moment and I don't know what it is. Maybe I just woke up at the wrong side of the bed. Maybe I'm just not feeling so well. Or maybe this is just one of those days that I am in a bad mood. Period. Nothing to it.

Anyway, what sorta made me laugh was an e-mail from a good friend who is the US now. Her life there was soooo funny (and kinda an eye-opener for Pinoys in the US and Pinoys who dream of living in the US, thought-provoking, lahat-lahat na!) that I thought of sharing them here. While reading it (especially her letter about dating), I suddenly remembered Ally McBeal. I never knew that she is a true-to-life Ally McBeal until now! And I love her more because of that! The thing is, I miss her even more...

Here is the excerpt of her e-mail about her life in the US. I withheld her name for anonymity. I used Janet Peters since it is the name that she is using there to sound "American". Laugh at her stories and hopefully, get some wisdom behind it.

May 25, 2006

hullo!

kumusta na kayo? pasensha at ang tagal tagal kong di nakapag-email sa inyo =( yung pc kasi dito sa office may malupet na firewall ... sobrang lupet na kahit na pwede kong basahin yung yahoo emails ko, hanggang dun lang. di ako pwedeng mag-reply. di ako pwedeng mag-delete at balita ko pa, if parati kong bibubuksan ang yahoo ko, posibleng tanggalin yung access ko dun. so in other words, once a day lang ako pwede magbasa ng yahoo mail. shet. kaya naman top priority ko talaga ngayon ang bumili ng laptop. (sigh ... gastos!)

tama nga sabi nilang lahat, laking mura ng laptop dito sa estados unidos. yung nga lang, shempre, canvass to death muna ako bago ako mag-invest sa laptop. ang pinakamahal na ok dito ay umaabot ng $1,000 (P51,000) at pinakamura na ang $500++ (P25,000++). so first sweldo ko, laptop ang una kong bibilhin para parati ko na kayong makaka-usap (ym) at makikita (multiply) at ma-e-email!

malamig dito nung dumating ako. first week ko dito was very cold. (shiyet, kala ko ba summer na?! lintek!) ... this week is better. i can go out wearing normal clothes. am indoors naman most of the time ... i only go outside to smoke (thank God may mga yosiholics din dito). yung nga lang, mahirap din maging generous sa napakamahal kong yosi! kailangan tipirin hanggang december! no way am i paying $5 (P250) for a pack of cigarettes! potah! no way mennn!

all my officemates here are pinoys..... as in lahat po sila! mas madaming girls kesa sa guys and yes, we also have our share of gays as well. =) of course, i had no idea he was gay ... he didn't seem gay at all ... someone had to tell me that he was gay. (well, we all know naman that my gaydar is almost non-existent so let's not be surprised). unfortunately, walang cute. (darn!)

my housemates (hahaha! feeling pinoy big brother ba?!) are ok din. 5 of us share a two bedroom unit. it has two bathrooms (one has a bathtub! yey!), two bedrooms (3 of us share the master's bedroom while the other two share the smaller bedrooom), a kitchen with everything in it (ref, oven, dishwasher ... we still have to buy a microwave), a living room (with 2 single sofas and one director's chair ... we still have to buy a tv) and a living room with a round table (we still have to buy chairs) ... obvious ba na ang dami pa naming kailangan bilhin? haaaaay .... bigla kong na-miss ang precious mircrowave oven (which i won in last year's office christmas party), ang precious tv ko at ang precious kong dvd player at ang pinaka-precious sa lahat -- ang sony radio/cd player ko ... waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh .... *sniff sniff* well, at least nakabili na ako ng blow-drier so good hair day na ako parati! =)

wag kayo ma-shock ha pero alam nyo ba na 6am pa lang ay gising na ako? =) palakpak naman kayo para sa kin! =) major feat yun noh!! ang tanging dahilan lang naman kaya ako ganun kaaga gumising ay dahil ayokong mahuli sa banyo. shempre, i share the bathroom with two other girls so, hello, i can't take my sweet time in there anymore noh. medyo naninibago nga ako coz i never had to live with so many people. even if i want to get my own place, it's way too expensive. if ako lahat, wala na talaga akong ipon.

anyways, morning ritual ko is to wake up early, take a bath, cook lunch -- naknampucha! hahahaha! gulat kayo dun noh! of course i know how to cook! (am not that great but at least i can cook ... yung isang housemate e itlog lang alam lutuin!) wala naman kasi akong choice. di kaya ng powers ko maglakad in my heels in this cold weather noh! (heels kasi corporate attire kami dito ... huhuhu) unlike sa dati kong mga opisina na may malapit na starbucks and ministop and 7-11, dito sa ---, ang pinakamalapit na pwedeng kainan ay kasing layo ng greenbelt (from mile long ... or kasing layo ng shaw to st. francis square). if naka-slippers lang ako (wala kasi akong flats), at kasing init ng metro manila weather dito, siguro, pag-tya-tyagaan kong maglakad ... e hindi po ganun e. tapos, buti sana kung mura din sa mga lintek na mga fastfood chains na yan noh! shet, the other day, i ordered a meal at wendy's (grilled chicken sandwich+fries+drink), $6.00!!!!!!! that's 300 pesoses! so luto at baon to death na lang lahat, dammit!

ang mura lang dito ay make-up! (ang dami ko na nga dinala, bumili pa ako ...haayy ... please, pigilan nyo ako!) di na ako oily skin, ultra mega DRY skin na ako ngayon! fuck. halos minu-minuto ko kailangan mag-moisturize. kaya pala bentang-benta mga moisturizer dito! shet, baka di tumagal yung stock ko ng goat's milk! haay ....

i have my own little corner cubicle ... yun nga lang, i don't have that much office supplies yet ... i miss MY office supplies ... i just have one big mirror (vain vain vain) and my yellow starbucks water bottle (thank God i was able to bring that!) and some post-it pads and all my purple pens. that's about it. i miss everything else. flat screen yung monitor ko and it's big. i have my own hi-tech telephone ... it's so hi-tech i have no idea how to use it. i know it's mine coz my name is on the small computer screen.

speaking of names, am not called (real name) here ... they asked me to change my name coz it had to sound 'american' ... and since someone else was already using (real name), i ended up with : janet peters! bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! punyeta! utang na loob!!!!!! wag nyo na alamin kung saan galing yan. ang gusto ko talaga ay jen pitt. maraming tumutol ... este, lahat po sila ay tumutol! ok fine, whatever! di rin sila pumayag sa ashley judd. so ayun, janet peters na lang. grrrrr ....

saksakan ng mahal manood ng movie dito. last friday, buong office (around 20 employees lang kami) ay pumunta sa amc cinema at nanood kami ng da vinci code (ang tanging comment ko ay sana nanood na lang ako ng OVER THE HEDGE ... yung lang). $9.00 yung lintek na movie at $7.00 naman yung gigantic popcorn with gigantic drink. so a total of $16.00 (P800) ... shet panset! with $16, pwede na ako nanood ng walong movies sa megamall!

saksakan din ng mahal ang mga damit. pumunta ako ng gap at gusto ko sana bilhin lahat ng kulay ng tank tops na nakita ko ... nakapag-pigil pa naman ako .... so i ended up buying a purple scarf for only 0.97 cents (less than 50 pesos). sabi din kasi ng officemate ko, may gap outlet dito so dun na lang daw ako bumili =) by the way, halos lahat ng gap apparel dito ay made in the philippines! ano ba?!

dapat natuto na akong mag-drive nung nandyan pa ako ... kasi po dito, walang public transportation. as in WALA! we're all dependent on the other officemates who have cars. hatid sundo kami pero staff house to office to staff house lang. anywhere else, makiki-favor kami or makikisabay if that person is going there. yung pinakamalapit na kmart (parang sm dahil mura dun) ay 30minutes away via lakad. since batong-bato na ako last sabado, my housemate and i decided to walk to big kmart ... buti na lang the weather was ok. linakad na lang namin at namili kami ng hangers and other supplies ... buti na lang magaan yung hangers kasi kailangan din namin maglakad pabalik.

kwentuhan nyo naman ako! wanna know what i'm missing! =)

miss you all,
janet

Tagged by Acy!

Uno, Dos, Tres
(Tagged by Acy)

3 People Who Makes Me Laugh:
Uno: Biboy
Dos: Angel
Tres: My Good Friends (You know who you are!)

3 Things I Love:
Uno: Movies (Naman!)
Dos: TV Shows
Tres: DVDs

3 Things I Hate:
Uno: Biboy's jealousy (Walang sinasanto! Promise!)
Dos: Tado (Super hate ko siya ngayon! I swear!)
Tres: Lack of sleep/Ashtma

3 Things On My Desk (at home):
Uno: PC and accessories
Dos: Phone
Tres: Blanks DVDs and CDs at kung anu-ano pang anik-anik

3 Things I Am Doing Right Now:
Uno: Nag-iisip ng sagot dito! (Pucha! Dumb question!)
Dos: Looking at the monitor (Heller?!)
Tres: Typing (Sympre naman kaya!)

3 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
Uno: Do my own movie
Dos: Tour the world (Kung di man, kahit New York lang! Carry na 'yun!)
Tres: Get married in Europe? (Hehehe...)

3 Things I Can Do:
Uno: Kumain ng sandamakmak na spaghetti (Basta luto ko!)
Dos: Watch 3 movies in cinemas in succession! (Did that once. Di ko alam kung magagawa ko pa uli.)
Tres: Teach!

3 Ways to Describe My Personality:
Uno: Topakin
Dos: Masungit
Tres: Mapagbigay

3 Things People Might Not Know About Me:
Uno: Masungit ako pag nasa bahay!
Dos: I drown myself in tears whenever I can't take the problems anymore.
Tres: Dreamt of being a singer!

3 Things I Think You Should Listen To:
Uno: Instincts (and be wary of the "signs" around you)
Dos: Parents (One must ought to listen to them.)
Tres: Good friends (Good friends only paradi ka nila ipapahamak.)

3 Things I Don't Think You Should Listen To Ever:
Uno: Manipulative A-holes (I hope you know who you are 'cause we know you!)
Dos: Friends na B.I. (including 'yung mga nega!)
Tres: CF (Maihahambing kasi 'yan sa gulong ng buhay... Ay, pucha! Shut up! Gets n'yo kung sino 'yun?)

3 of My Absolute Favorite Foods:
Uno: Spaghetti!
Dos: Strawberry ice cream and donuts
Tres: Chocolate cake (I admit na! I am sweet tooth e este I have sweet teeth e este tooth pala!)

3 Things I'd Like to Learn:
Uno: Creat a film
Dos: Swim
Tres: Drive

3 Beverages I Drink Regularly:
Uno: Coke
Dos: Iced tea
Tres: Pineapple juice

3 Shows I Watched When I Was A Child:
Uno: Lotsa Pinoy movies
Dos: That's Entertainment (Wednesday group fave ko! Hehehe...)
Tres: Joey & Son (daw super fave ko when I was 3-5 yrs old ata. I remember nothing abt it, though.)

3 People I Tag to Do This Crap:
Sorry kayo pero lahat ng nagbabasa ng blog ko, do this! People in particular are April, Ryan, Carlo, Ate Yang, Marcelle, Rocketboy, Dylan, Zatoichi (sa'n na link ng blog mo?), Sharononians (esp. Gigi) & Ghil. The rest, gawin sa Friendster bulletin board (Bhe-bhe, Leigh, RJ, Bi, Bibs, Len, Anjo, Jen, Joanne, Ralph)! The others, pakilala kasi kayo sa kin! Don't be just mere observers, participate! *wink wink*

"Sharon" Moments

"Kala ko tapos na ang kabaliwan natin," Ryan texted last July 10 which refers to the taping that we were about to attend later on. I was invited by a fellow Sharonian (who wants to remain anonymous for personal reasons) to watch a Sharon taping that day. The taping was for the fans entitled Fan's Day On Air. She's inviting fans that would represent the online group. S'ympre go ako! Incidentally, I had nothing to do that day. We had no classes because the next day was a holiday -- Valenzuela Day. (It follows the "sandwich principle" -- since the day before the holiday falls on a weekend, might as well suspend classes or work on that day, too, to avoid absences. Tayo lang ata meron n'un. But we made up for it by having a class last Saturday.) I tried contacting some Sharonian friends to join us but t'was only Ryan who was available. He decided not to go to work anymore 'cause the taping ended late. Also, Biboy joined us who we referred to as the "closeted fan" since it is fan's day.
The invitation happened because the "invitor" read my entry re the mall tour. She was also present at the said event. We were also both members of the PEx's Sharon thread where she saw my post.
There were many firsts for me on this event. First time that I get to watch a Sharon taping -- actually any taping for that matter. First time to see how a set looks like. First time to see how the production works during taping. First time to meet fellow Sharonians outside my circle. It's quite funny when you think that you're a super fan of someone then you get to meet people who are more fanatic than you are. My collection of Sharon stuff is incomparable to what they have. Their knowledge of her life is way superior than what I know about her. Even Sharon said that, "Mas marami pa silang alam sa buhay ko kaysa sa kin!" They remember more about her history that she does! I'm not claiming to be a super fan, though. There was even such a time when I lost fondness of her -- during the whole Lilian Velez era, I think. It was only when Madrasta came out that the fondness came back. But the people I met can really be called mega-fans! They have notes about the events in her life. They compile magazines and interviews. They attend tapings almost religiously. Some of them even became Sharon's friends (and kumares because she became their children's godmother) because according to her, these are the people she often sees. For that, I give them loyalty award! Nakakatuwa sila! I admire them because of that. If given the chance, I'd want to do a story/movie about them. A story about what being a super fan is really like. Not to make fun of them but to show people that they are the moons behind these stars. As long as they're there to support them, their light will keep on shining. Theirs is an interesting life because some of them have devoted their entire lives into backing them up. Not all can do such act especially with people they have no blood relations to.
Anyway, these are the Sharon moments:
*Everytime Sharon would open her mouth. I mean, in between takes, she would constantly talk -- either about anything she has set her mind to or to her friends in the audience. Sometimes it gets tiring listening to her -- especially that it was our first time to see her work. I guess for people who has seen her a lot during those unguarded moments, they are used to it already.
*Every Sharon transition moments off and on screen. You gotta be there to see it. Off-air, she'd talk and talk even if the AD is counting already before going on air. When the number reaches 2..., she'd stop talking about whatever she is talking about then proceeds to doing her spiels! As if hindi siya naging sobrang kulit before the take! Sobrang aliw talaga!
*When she started saying something not-so-good about Gabby then the mic hits her teeth. She quickly adds, "Opo, Lord! Sorry na po! Sobrang bilis naman ng dating ng karma sa 'kin. Opo na po. Bati na nga po kami, di ba?"
*When a fan showed her the picture of her and Gabby with the doll "Shabby". Shabby is Kuya Germs's version of Guy & Pip's "Maria Leonora Theresa" doll. "'Yan si Shabby dati! Ngayon, nagiging Chucky na pag gabi!"
*Whenever Shawie calls Uma her Uma Khounita! She feels that he is her baby I hope that both of them realize that Khounita doesn't sound manly for someone whose sexuality is in question. I hope, too, that it was just unintentional to sound that way. Hehehe. (Pero care ko! Cutie pa rin si Uma ever!)
*All the time Aldred Gatchalian was on the stage singing Your Song! Siyet!!!! (See clip below)

*Like Direk Joey Reyes who first pledged his admiration for Aldred and calls himself a devoted "Aldredian", Manny Casteñeda became gigil-to-death with Aldred. Mega-pisil sa bata! OA! Hahaha! (Inggit ako! *wink wink*)
*All of Melanie Ganda's (in short, MeGa, aka Pokwang) kwento about her being a Sharon devotee. Part of her experience as a mega-fan was when Shawie carried her mother on her back in the film Pasan Ko Ang Daigdig. "Pinasan ko rin ang nanay ko," she related. "Kahit saan. Sa pamamalengke... sa grocery... sa simbahan... sa paglalakad... sa trabaho! Matapos nga ang isang linggo, natanggal ako sa trabaho, eh! Pa'no raw nakakasikip ang nanay ko. Elevator operator kasi ako!"
*John Lapus' stories about the days when he became Sharon's clown. The one who'd make her smile and laugh whenever she was down. Once, John waited inside a trash bag so that when the time came, he'd pop out and cheer her. It was during Shawie and Richard's days. There were talking on the phone then. It took a long time before the conversation (arguments, acutally) ended. John had to come out of the trash bag. "Juice ko, sobrang kaya akong pinawisan! Ni hindi pa nga ako makahinga! Naloka ako! Ang tagal n'yong nag-usap!"
*When Uma buckled on his lines. "Ang susunod po nating bisita ay taga-Hagdang-hagdang e Tahanang Walang Hagdan..." (Did you mean Hagdang-hagdang Palayan, Uma?! Ang layo naman n'un sa TWH! :-D)
*When Sharon (and most of the audience) cried upon learning that the boy she has been helping was cured from cancer. It was a heartfelt scene. "Most of my sick kids kasi from Wish Upon a Mega already passed away. I'm glad that he made it..."
*Lastly, when Sharon apologized to Sen. Kiko about all her mistakes in the past. "You are what you are today because of those," Sen. Kiko assured the Mega. Lakas-tama 'nung statement na 'yun kay Biboy! Thank's, Sen. Kiko for such words! Natauhan si mokong! Hehehe. Love u, Bi!
Sharon is about 40 minutes or so only on TV. But the taping took two hours! We started at around 9 PM and ended at around 11 PM. There were so many things that happened during that night. I am soooo glad that I was able to watch it. 'Wag naman sana akong makita sa TV palagi once it aired! Hehehe.
(^And'yan kami. Look closer. Click for bigger image. Some of the pics were taken from I Can Seeeeeee You!!!! More pictures from the taping here.)
So, my friends, watch Fan's Day On Air on TV this Sunday, July 30 after Balitang K. Other guests are Erik Santos, Bb. Joyce Bernal, Christine Bersola-Babao, Vina Morales, and some loyal and devoted fans.