Last night, as I was going through my review blog, I noticed a message from a certain Angelo saying that he sent me an e-mail for a writing assignment. A writing assignment? What is that? I don't know any Angelo and it was the first time that he posted a mesage in the board. When I went to his name to check if he pasted a link (to his blog, probably), I saw that he was from Icon Magazine! OMG! He is the associate editor that Richie had told me about. He said that he'd be forwarding my mails and write-ups to Angelo for possible writing jobs. Mixed emotions have circulated in my body. I was surprised. I became excited. I felt anxious. Imagine, I'd finally get my reviews published for a magazine! HOWEVER, it was more than that!
In his e-mail, Angelo said, "I've read your works (nice work! :D), and we decided to give you an assignment for the upcoming issue of Icon." First, they want me to interview Direk Ellen Ongkeko-Marfil whose film, "Mga Pusang Gala", is part of the ongoing Pink Festival. And second, they ask me to watch and review two more films that are showing. He recommended "That Man: Peter Berlin" for the gay film and another one that has a lesbian theme.
I begun to feel more anxious about it. As I have said before, I'm not really confident about my writing abilities. I feel that I have "limited" vocabulary skills as compared to those who write for the magazine or any prestigious magazine for that matter. Besides, this is more than writing a review for a film which I'm used to doing! I need to interview a prominent figure in show business who, as I've read in the attached bio of her, worked with the likes of Lino Brocka, Ishmael Bernal, and Mike de Leon and just recently resigned from being the Associate Director of I-Witness and Debate to concentrate on directing films. So many questions have popped in my mind and I felt so pressured more than ever.
Until now, I haven't talked to Angelo yet. Not a single text message from me! I've realized that I'm feeling so overwhelmed about this whole thing. Should I continue with this? How could they entrust me such big project? Don't they feel that this interview should be given to a more experience writer than I am? What if Direk Ellen thinks that I am such an amateur? I am not sure if I'm just putting myself down or I'm just being rational with my thoughts. Yes, I do want to write but isn't this too big for me to embark upon?
As of the moment, I still don't know what to do. I have to decide the soonest because the festival will only be until the 12th of June. Besides, films are shown according to schedule.
Oh God, please give me the wisdom to know what to do and the strenght to follow it through...
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